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God Botherers


shelbass

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Posted

Got a bit of a weekend infestation right now.

Started with them just dropping off their mags (which I can tolerate), but now they are asking to "come in to chat".

That's not on.

 

Does just asking them not to come back politley work? Or do I have to get all mean.

 

I've thought of just standing in the doorway clutching a copy of Anton Le Vay's Satanic Bible and staring at them whilst holding up the devil horns.

Would that work?

 

Man, I hate being confrontational, I am too sweet for my own good. But this is pissing me off.

 

These folks are Jehova's Witnesses. They are nice and all, and I am happy they have comfort and purpose in their faith. But it's just not for me.

 

 

What's your experience in your neck of the woods? I would imagine they'd be taking a risk knocking on doors in the U.S. What with you all being armed and that.

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Posted

Just let them know that you are happy and content with the faith you have be that Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, whatever. I would not be agressive towards them, since it is human nature to bite back.

I under stand that many people feel that religion should be pushed onto others ( why I dont know) but to me religion is private and everyone is entitled to their own views. I prefer to keep my faith to myself for it is private to me (in my poinion).

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Posted

i've never had to get confrontational about it...they usually go away after they shove a pamphlet in my hand. i'll just be like "thanks anyway" and recycle the pamphlet - since they often won't take the pamphlet back evem after i tell them i don't want/need/have any intention of reading it.

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Posted

When they ask if you've been saved, say "Yeah, you?"

 

And when they say "yeah," pat them on the shoulder and say good job and close the door.

 

Two of my best friends are Mormons, I've been in some odd situations with them!:D

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Posted

I remember those bozos wakeing me up from a nap once. I went to the door all groggy and angry and told them I did not think there was a god. They left real quick.

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Posted

Originally posted by shelbass

These folks are Jehova's Witnesses. They are nice and all, and I am happy they have comfort and purpose in their faith. But it's just not for me.

 

i welcome j.w's as their theology is so flawed

 

read up on their founder...a freemason and a criminal

 

also their elders sexually abuse their own children and is overlooked by their head office...not all of them of course...but they are just as corrupt as the rest of us...

 

if you arent inclined to christianity you could advocate to them you dont care if you go to hell and you dont believe a single word of the bible.

say it nicely and god bless them as they go...

 

say you will pray for their ministry...but not what you will pray..

 

all in all they are just folks on a path to somewhere and are looking for support.:)

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Posted

Originally posted by mrcrow



i welcome j.w's as their theology is so flawed


read up on their founder...a freemason and a criminal


also their elders sexually abuse their own children and is overlooked by their head office...not all of them of course...but they are just as corrupt as the rest of us...


if you arent inclined to christianity you could advocate to them you dont care if you go to hell and you dont believe a single word of the bible.

say it nicely and god bless them as they go...


say you will pray for their ministry...but not what you will pray..


all in all they are just folks on a path to somewhere and are looking for support.
:)

as usual I bow to the wisdom of the crow. this is the best advice for door knockers of all stripes. Telling them you are an atheist, Satanist etc will just make them try all the harder to "save" you. Tell them that you appreciate their concern but are not interested should work well.

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Posted

I usually invite them in, spark up a joint in front of them and offer them a toke, and they tend to leave pretty quickly once that happens and not come back.

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Posted

Originally posted by Bonoman

I usually invite them in, spark up a joint in front of them and offer them a toke, and they tend to leave pretty quickly once that happens and not come back.

 

Pwned!

 

:D

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Posted

they woke me and the last three guests of a party one saturday morning, oh, about 8 am... less then 3 hours after the party ended. so we invited them in. and debated some finer points of theology. they actually _wanted_ to leave, but we kept them there for a good 3 hour chat. they must have told their friends, cause that house didn;t get a single jw after that..

 

i guess there are some advantages to a jesuit education...

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Posted

If you know something about their history, it's pretty easy to make them uncomfortable enough to leave on their own, as they rarely know much about it themselves and their leadership goes to great lengths to keep it secret. They usually have a newbie accompanying an older JW, and the older one will try to keep the conversation on their terms. The last thing they want is for their new converts to find out the truth about their cult.

 

If you know nothing about them, tell them to come back when your pastor or priest can be there with you (even if you don't go to church.) That'll get rid of them.

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Posted

 

Originally posted by filterthing

I remember those bozos wakeing me up from a nap once. I went to the door all groggy and angry and told them I did not think there was a god. They left real quick.

 

 

 

Har! They woke me up with a hangover one time. I gave them $2 to go away.

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Posted

Originally posted by Bonoman

I usually invite them in, spark up a joint in front of them and offer them a toke, and they tend to leave pretty quickly once that happens and not come back.

 

prepares for enlightening experience @ Brother Bonoman's Temple of the green leaf .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

bong.gif

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Posted

Shel, you are priceless.

 

heaps of options.

 

1. Nudity

When you see them coming, take a while to open the door, and invite them in while tucking in your shirt... and ask them to take off their shoes, and their socks, and their shirt, and their trousers, and their dax.

You will of course do likewise.

 

2. Obcenety

Stand at the door and yell {censored} OFFF really loudly. It is a simple and direct approach, for simple and direct results.

 

3. Cross Promotion

Invite them in and say there is something you really wanted to talk to them about and get out an Amway catalogue. Start talking to them about the benefits of pyramid selling. Do not let them go without talking a brochure and arranging another appointment.

 

4. Personal Interest

Shel, Im an accountant so I innately have the ability to make people to just want to go away. Normally I will discuss recent changes to the Industrial Relations, Workplace Health and Safety or GST legislative changes and how they will affect homosexuals, drug users (disabled) and migrants.

Your own personal interest in the, shall we say, Paranoramal, should, make them flee if you have enough stuff to show them.

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Posted

Start asking them a lot of questions about who they are, exactly what are their names, where do they live, what's the number, how do you spell that, what are their kid's names, etc. :D

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Posted

There are some good recommendations and some bad ones IMO on this thread.

 

The JW have also announced the end of the world a few times in the past. Herbert W. Armstrong I think was their founder. Is this right?

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Posted

My oldest sister used to get into knock down drag out theology and scripture quoting discussions on the front porch. Pretty funny to watch, though I wouldn't have the patience, myself (even if I did have the bible memorized, which I don't).

 

I don't get bothered much up here, a little too rural for them usually, but I think there's something about my place that sends off "don't bug me with what you believe" vibes. It might be the "Born OK the First Time" sign. :D

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Posted

Originally posted by 1tallbassguy

There are some good recommendations and some bad ones IMO on this thread.


The JW have also announced the end of the world a few times in the past. Herbert W. Armstrong I think was their founder. Is this right?

 

I remember the big JW doomsday projection in 1985. They campaigned for months and when it did NOT happen :eek::confused: what did they do? Admit they were wrong? Point to {censored}ty info source? Nope. They all patted themselves on the back for saving the world.

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