Ok, bassist. Help me coach this band.

[Conformer]

Don't laugh but I know the singer. He seems to be mis guided at the moment. I don't get the whole masks thing though.

 

 

http://www.myspace.com/gallows

[Darkstorm]

And your going to coach them in doing what exactly?

[Conformer]

How to not be a predictiable, mask wearing Slipknot wannabe's. The guitarist is the only person in the band that can play. The bass they use has a neck so badly warped that you can't fret anything on any string past the 5th fret. Singer asked me for help.

[Darkstorm]

I see. Hum. Well a healthy dose of shlock black metal seems appropriate considering the website. For not slipping into the slipknot thing. Can bass guitarist bass neck be fixed with truss rod adjusting? That might help a little too. And fake blood. Must have fake blood. Maybe teach the one with fewest music making skills how to flick fake blood drenched hand at audiance or something. Lol.

[Fran da Man]

You can send their friend "Rock & Roll is the Devils music" my way...she's 99 yo (right up my alley)

[My bass in your face]

Originally posted by Conformer How to not be a predictiable, mask wearing Slipknot wannabe's. The guitarist is the only person in the band that can play. The bass they use has a neck so badly warped that you can't fret anything on any string past the 5th fret. Singer asked me for help.

OI! A lot of wrongs there. I don't know where to start?!

First of all. Fix that bass. If it's a Fenderish bass you could replace the neck:
http://www.rondomusic.net/spbneck.html

Tell them to put more time in their music and taking care of their equipment then whoring themselves out on myspace and their website.

Make them listen to Darkthrone and tell them they are better off making old school black metal. They should at least mention Darkthrone as their influences. You can't make extreme Metal if you don't.

Yeah, I haven't heard the music. But I'm positive that they should play faster. Straight polkas on drums and let the guitarist squeal instead of chug. That will sound more aggresive and hectic than all nu-metal bands.

Oh, last but not least... that pentagram needs to be upside down!! Or just, not there since they probably don't know what it stands for anyway.

EDIT: Yeah, ditch the masks. Who do they think they are: The Berzerker?? (
Band member take pictures of eachother in the practice room is a no-no. It's even worse to leave lights on. That's not dark, grim and necro enough. In fact: it's just gay .

They will get there, eventually. Best of luck! n/

[LeBraniac]

TELL THEM TO GO LONG, RUN HARD AND WIN ONE FOR THE GIPPER:D

[Bassistloaded]

The greater the gimmick, the more the music sucks:

 

Maybe this will help show how ridiculous what they're doing is:

 

Hall of Douchebags

 

If nothing else, this site is funny as hell...

[baracuda2004]

check us out this is what you do www.myspace.com/corebreach

 

if you can think of it, then it's probably been done in music there is a total lack of originality so just short of {censored}ing a donkey in the ass while playing your solo i would suggest to try out numerous things before sticking with the mask thing, and i wouldn't coin my name from fantastic 4 either(pyro) somethings work and some don't, if you've noticed Mudvayne lost the paint and wierd names and their new album LOST AND FOUND is freakin awesome, for now i would suggest working on writing music and worry about theatrics later.

 

These are just my opinions but hey you asked....

[baracuda2004]

 

"Hi! We're completely out of ideas!"

 

 

 

HHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA OOOOWHHH HHAAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!LOLOLOLoloLOlOLOlol HAHAHAHAHA

 

ooowwww sorry my ribs hurt is this kinda the situation

[Conformer]

Originally posted by baracuda2004 check us out this is what you do www.myspace.com/corebreach if you can think of it, then it's probably been done in music there is a total lack of originality so just short of {censored}ing a donkey in the ass while playing your solo i would suggest to try out numerous things before sticking with the mask thing, and i wouldn't coin my name from fantastic 4 either(pyro) somethings work and some don't, if you've noticed Mudvayne lost the paint and wierd names and their new album LOST AND FOUND is freakin awesome, for now i would suggest working on writing music and worry about theatrics later. These are just my opinions but hey you asked....

 

Just so you know this ain't my band, just a group of guys I am trying to help. I am an old 24 year old child of the grunge years. So I always just wore jeans and a t-shirt and played bass.

 

About the bass its a late 80ish early 90ish Ibanez. Looks nice but I think the neck is screwed.

[TwYzTyR]

I think they'd be better off just stopping before they get started. Just because you can form a band doesn't mean you should.

 

{censored} like this is why real metalheads get a rep for being retards.

[Conformer]

I often wonder if guys start {censored} like this just too get the chicks attention?

[TwYzTyR]

 

Originally posted by Conformer I often wonder if guys start {censored} like this just too get the chicks attention?

 

 

Ding ding ding, we have a winner!!!

 

Young guys buy into the myth that being in a band gets you women. They fail to realize that the guys in GOOD bands tend to get more women.

[Conformer]

 

Originally posted by TwYzTyR Ding ding ding, we have a winner!!! Young guys buy into the myth that being in a band gets you women. They fail to realize that the guys in GOOD bands tend to get more women.

 

 

 

Yeah, your right. I figure if the women come they will come. Never put much emphasis in writing just for the girls. Of course there is always an "ace" in hole of a song you can pull at the right time. LOL

 

Something about women. They can tell when a guy is playing to play or when they are just playing too try and impress them.

 

They have wierd senses.

[RSBro]

As has been said, even some of the best (Mudvayne, ie..) have stripped off the makeup and costumes, etc.., and actually started writing some good music again. The last album was kinda bleh to me, as I think they were too worried about changing their monikers, etc.. than actually putting out a killer album. After I get my cash from this weekends gig, I'm gonna go get the new CD as I've heard a few more songs on it, and I like them again. But, makeup/mask metal was sooo 3 years ago, and they need to realize that. People need to actually like you for your music and songwriting ability over the next jackass who thinks they'll get picked up for being more stupid than the next band up onstage. I'm not bashin' em at all for trying, but this isn't the way to go about it.