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Pork Soda?


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yah so ya know you come home from that 9 to 5 job and you put yourself down that burgundy couch of yours but ya know it wasnt really burgundy it was red you painted it with a goddamn spray can so now whenever you stand up there are bits and pieces of red stuck to your butt....

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Tommy the Cat

"I remember as it were a meal ago"


Said Tommy the Cat as he reeled back to clear whatever foreign matter

may have nestled its way into His mighty throat. Many a fat alley rat

had met its demise while staring point blank down the cavernous barrel

of this awesome prowling machine. Truly a wonder of nature this urban

predator. Tommy the cat had many a story to tell, but it was a rare

occasion such as this that he did.


"She came slidin' down the alleyway like butter drippin' off a hot

biscuit. The aroma, the mean scent, was enough to arouse suspicion in

even the oldest of Tigers that hung around the hot spot in those

days. The sight was beyond belief. Many a head snapped for double,

even triple, takes as this vivacious feline made her her way into the

delta of the alleyway where the most virile of the young tabbys were

known to hang out. They hung in droves. Such a multitude of

masculinity could only be found in One place... and that was

O'malley's Alley. The air was thick with cat calls (no pun intended)

but not even a muscle in her neck did twitch as she sauntered up into

the heart of the alley. She knew what she wanted. She was lookin'

for that stud bull, the he cat. And that was me. Tommy the Cat is my

name and I say unto thee...


Say baby do you wanna lay down by me"

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