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There's this girl at work


tenyearsgone

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i'm not a big fan of his, but Leykis 101 works. you have to make it seem like she is priveledged to be going out with you. Act like you don't care, and even if she is the hottest thing on the planet, don't act like it, or let her know it.

Like i said, Tom Leykis is a chump imo, but his stuff works. women eat it up. the bigger jerk you are to them, the more they come after you. and i have a hot wife to prove it!

good luck

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Go over to her and ask her out already. Email is for wusses, phone is only slightly better.

To hell with that, be direct, don't think too much about it, and ask her. If yes, great. If no, no harm done, get on with your life.

Worked for me in the past.

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Dude, I had the same situation here, except my "friend" totally said the wrong thing and {censored}ed it up for me...

If you have a half indication that she's amiable to your date suggestion, then go and ask her...

No whenever I see my hot Irish vixen, she just ignores me and walks the other way... If I'd have handled it myself, she might have let me bam her up the bam hole...

Now I'll never know... unless I find more roofies...

PS> Zachoff, you sick ass! The girlies LOVE the shocker!! Go you go!

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I agree with the "just ask her already" advice. Girls hate wussy guys. You have to just come right out and ask her in a simple and direct way. If she says no, she says no...what's the big deal?

The only thing is...I STRONGLY disagree with everyone's advice to ask her for dinner/lunch/a movie, etc. That's just so generic. It sends the message that you're a desperate tool who's all out of ideas and has NO clue about women.

Use some imagination. Be interesting. You have to find somehting interesting, different, and exciting to do together. Find something unique in your area. It could be a book release, a new band, some cultural activity (theater, museum, etc.) ... it doesn't really matter too much as long as it's not the same old same old. You don't want to be the 50th guy that asked her to dinner and a movie that week.

Find something cool to do, make some excuse to stop by her desk and say, "Hey, you know I heard about this really cool thing going on tomorrow afternoon. There's a new XYZ exhibit at the museum. I'm dying to go. I think you'd really like it...why don't we head over there tomorrow after work?"

You have to be cool about it (like it's no big deal). You're a bass player, right? We're supposed to be cool...don't embarass us ;)

Emre

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Originally posted by LanEvo

I agree with the "just ask her already" advice. Girls hate wussy guys. You have to just come right out and ask her in a simple and direct way. If she says no, she says no...what's the big deal?


The only thing is...I STRONGLY disagree with everyone's advice to ask her for dinner/lunch/a movie, etc. That's just so generic. It sends the message that you're a desperate tool who's all out of ideas and has NO clue about women.


Use some imagination. Be interesting. You have to find somehting interesting, different, and exciting to do together. Find something unique in your area. It could be a book release, a new band, some cultural activity (theater, museum, etc.) ... it doesn't really matter too much as long as it's not the same old same old. You don't want to be the 50th guy that asked her to dinner and a movie that week.


Find something cool to do, make some excuse to stop by her desk and say, "Hey, you know I heard about this really cool thing going on tomorrow afternoon. There's a new XYZ exhibit at the museum. I'm dying to go. I think you'd really like it...why don't we head over there tomorrow after work?"


You have to be cool about it (like it's no big deal). You're a bass player, right? We're supposed to be cool...don't embarass us
;)

Emre



Good advice. Be funny and charming and confident (body language is key; just be relaxed), and everything should fall into place. Don't worry about it too much, just do it. And don't plan something too far in advance, it just increases the chance of her cancelling, whether she builds it up herself or it sounds like some kind of formal thing. Which it shouldn't be; be impromptu and off-the-cuff, and keep it light. I'd suggest not going out of your way to pay for anything either (coffee or whatever); it just puts across the 'wuss' vibe, and if this girl is as awesome as you say, she probably has a finely-tuned wuss detector :p

Ever see the movie 'The Tao of Steve'? Here's how it works, three steps:

1) Be desireless
2) Be excellent in her presence
3) Be gone

It really works :D

Unless the two of you actually work together at work and your performance would be compromised by a relationship, I wouldn't worry about what others are saying about not pursuing anything. I'm dating a girl from work (again, I don't work in her area) and it's going great.

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My 2 cents:

You need to handle this in the most basic, direct manner possible. Playing games, trying to come up with contrived lines, angles, and approaches is only going to do one or more of a few things: (1) send her BS-detector meter off the charts, (2) send the message to her that you're 'playing'/a player, (3) you want her to be attracted/interested in YOU - not in some facade that you've slapped on, etc.

Being the most basic and direct is best in my opinion because you're not going to be trying to slap on some costume to be someone you're not: you're simply a dude who is interested (not in love, not obssessed, just interested) and attracted to a gal, and wants to see if something can come of it. Guys get attracted to girls all the time. It's how nature works. Girls know this. She's not going to think you're out of line or weird for asking her to join you to see a band or whatever.

My suggestion, I'd take her out to do something social with you, so she can see you in your best element. If though we're always a bit nervous when we go out with a girl the first time, if you're taking her out to a place where there's social activity, yet can talk, laugh, and enjoy each other's company, then things will work themselves out. I'm not a fan of going to the movies on first dates. Sitting in a quiet theatre for 2 hours doesn't lend itself to getting to know each other, good/funny conversation, and the like.

Just tell her that you'd like to take her to a see/hear a band, buy her a meal, whatever floats your boat. You need to do it as soon as possible. It does appear perhaps cute, but also a bit lame and lacking in self-esteem and a bit 'weird' on your part that a grown man would ask a woman's friend(s) to check to see if she might be interested in him...dispel those 5th grade images immediately, and IN PERSON, ask her out. You can be nervous - it's quite alright! She'll likely find it endearing if you are, and if she doesn't find it endearing, then you don't want to be with her anyways, and its good you found out sooner, rather than later.

Good luck!

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Originally posted by fastplant

Well, what happened? Did you ask her?



I paged her last night but she didn't return the call. It was a work pager and the techs usually only look at it if they're on call. And it's just about impossible for her to know it's me that called as she does not know my cell number.
She did call this morning and left a message asking that whoever called "if it's work related to call back".
I did send her an email this morning asking her to stop by when she got a minute. She is here but has not stopped by yet. I might have blown it with my procrastination of the situation. It seems like she's avoiding me now and I don't know why......:confused:
When we would talk before it would be really cool especially the last time so I don't see what the avoidance is about. This is saddening......
:(

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Originally posted by tenyearsgone

I paged her last night


Weak.

Originally posted by tenyearsgone

I did send her an email this morning asking her to stop by when she got a minute.


Double weak. (Have you actually been reading this thread?)

Originally posted by tenyearsgone

It seems like she's avoiding me now and I don't know why......
:confused:
When we would talk before it would be really cool especially the last time so I don't see what the avoidance is about. This is saddening......


Yeah, sounds like you creeped her out. Oh well...not much you can do about it now. Live and learn :cry:

Emre

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