Members bcPeg Posted January 8, 2006 Members Posted January 8, 2006 Like some on this forum, until today I'd never heard the term 'emo kid' WTF is an emo kid?! So, I googled it and found the following: You see them lurking in chat rooms, making fun of those who like mainstream music. You see them on message boards, shamelessly promoting their favorite indie bands and projecting an elitist attitude toward everyone who doesn't like those bands. You even stumble upon their Livejournals sometimes, and after reading two or three entries, discover that they'd love to have you think that their lives are the most tragic things in existence. Yes, they are emo kids, and their proliferation of the internet is becoming more and more alarming each day; there is nothing we can do to stop the influx. So why not take the easy way out and become one? You'll be respected and even admired among your emo contemoporaries, but only if you follow a certain set of unspoken rules. Break any of them and you'll be called a "poseur" faster than you can come up with a screename that has too many X's. First, let's look at the basics: The Basics Follow these guidelines and you'll be well on your way to being the first emo kid on the block: 1. Obtain a pair of black, thick-rimmed eyeglasses. Wear them at all times. Take multiple pictures of yourself wearing them with your webcam, and make sure to tilt them on your nose in a few of the pictures. Look as forlorn and desperate as possible in the pictures. If you know how, apply a few basic Photoshop filters to your images to give them an old, worn-out, decidedly "emo" look. 2. Obtain a Livejournal at all costs. This requires you to get a "code" from a current Livejournal user. If necessary, beg, plead, and offer sexual favors. Once you've secured a code, get someone else to design your journal or steal a design from someone else. When choosing a username, make sure it alludes to self-mutilation and has lots of X's in it. 3. Register an AIM screename. Again, it should optimally allude to self-mutilation and have multiple X's. Some examples: "x hidden scars" or "death x becomes x her." It is also acceptable to use the word "core" liberally in your name, such as "girl x core" or "loser x core." Once you've registered a screename, frequent the AIM chat rooms and talk about how much better your taste in music is than everyone else's. If someone mentions Conor Oberst of Bright Eyes/Desaparecidos, you MUST say "Conor is so hot. He rox my sox. RawR." 4. Sexuality. If you aren't already, you must become bisexual or homosexual. Sorry folks, this rule is not negotiable. Congratulations! You're well on your way to becoming an emo kid. Music This is the biggest part of being an emo kid. In fact, their name derives from the music they listen to - "emo," which once meant "emotional hardcore" or "emotional punk" but has now come to identify bands on the Saddle Creek label. You'll want to pay the most attention to this label, as many of the bands you'll be listening to are on Saddle Creek. For extra points, visit the Saddle Creek website at least once a day and post the link to the "emo game" on every forum you know of. Let's start with Bright Eyes. 'Lifted or The Story Is in the Soil, Keep Your Ear to the Ground' is an album that emo kids eat up like Ozzy Osbourne eats chicken heads. If you don't like this album, you are not emo. It's that simple. Other albums to check out by Bright Eyes: 'Fevers & Mirrors', 'letting off the Happiness', and 'There Is No Beginning to the Story'. Get them all for extra points! Another band worth mentionting is Desaparecidos. This band also features Conor Oberst of Bright Eyes. If you say that you like Conor Oberst, but you don't own 'Read Music/Speak Spanish', then you are a liar. Yet another band on Saddle Creek that you should like is Cursive. Get 'Cursive's Domestica' and 'Burst & Bloom' and visit a few of their fan websites so you can pretend to know a lot about them! At the Drive-In is one of the bands that founded modern emo. Get one of their older albums, such as 'El Gran Orgo', and brag that you've been into the emo scene for years. You'll gain instant respect among your emo peers. Another band that you'll definitely want to check out is Le Tigre. Feminism, protesting, "riot grrrls" - these are all themes prevalent in Le Tigre's music. If you don't like them yet claim to be emo, you are a poseur and will die a slow death. Purchase 'Le Tigre' at your local underground music store run by a pair of lesbian goths. Man, you're so core. A band you should pay attention to is Deftones. If someone calls them "the Deftones," be sure to scold them and say "It's just 'Deftones,' you poseur." Then proceed to ignore them. For extra points, get 'White Pony' and pretend that you like it. But make sure you stay away from Deftones' first album, 'Adrenaline', at all costs; it involves gritty, hard-rock guitars, screaming, rapping, and short song titles, and we all know how much emo kids hate THAT crap. Emo kids often dabble in "hardcore" music. This includes bands like From Autumn To Ashes, Poison the Well, Atreyu, etc. Get 'Too Bad You're Beautiful', then grow an unhealthy obsession for studded belts, X's, guns, and mosh pits, and become straight edge, and you can tackle two genres at once by being emo AND hardcore! SCORE!
Members zenfascist Posted January 8, 2006 Members Posted January 8, 2006 You've got it pretty darn close there, bud. Makes me wonder about you.....
Members bcPeg Posted January 8, 2006 Author Members Posted January 8, 2006 Originally posted by zenfascist You've got it pretty darn close there, bud. Makes me wonder about you..... No, I'm NOT an emo kid I'm too old and cranky I may be an emu kid though bcPeg aka RustiAnkr
Members der oxenrig Posted January 8, 2006 Members Posted January 8, 2006 Ironically though, it seems like emo is actually becoming mainstream, the thing it's actually against (at least here in Baltimore).
Members i_wanna_les_paul Posted January 8, 2006 Members Posted January 8, 2006 Originally posted by The Ox Ironically though, it seems like emo is actually becoming mainstream, the thing it's actually against (at least here in Baltimore). You mean it's going the way of Punk.
Members 82Daion Posted January 8, 2006 Members Posted January 8, 2006 Didn't the same thing happen to Nirvana, punk, and every other disposable counterculture thing? I don't like emo kids, but I tolerate their existence. They'll come around eventually. Anyway, their music sucks.
Members brake Posted January 8, 2006 Members Posted January 8, 2006 haha, it's scary how spot-on most of that stuff is. had me chuckling a few times it's just pop culture, though, folks. hair metal in the 80s, grunge in the early 90s, nu-metal in the late 90s. i've gotta say, though, this era definitely has the fewest redeeming musical qualities
Members 82Daion Posted January 8, 2006 Members Posted January 8, 2006 Originally posted by brake *snip* i've gotta say, though, this era definitely has the fewest redeeming musical qualities True. Sad, but true.
Members fremenblue Posted January 8, 2006 Members Posted January 8, 2006 The more current radio-played music I hear, the more I appreciate Rush and their 30+ year-spanning catalog.
Members 82Daion Posted January 8, 2006 Members Posted January 8, 2006 Yep. I was thinking the same thing this afternoon when I was listening to "Freewill" on the radio, of all places.
Members lug Posted January 8, 2006 Members Posted January 8, 2006 Originally posted by brake haha, it's scary how spot-on most of that stuff is. had me chuckling a few times it's just pop culture, though, folks. hair metal in the 80s, grunge in the early 90s, nu-metal in the late 90s. i've gotta say, though, this era definitely has the fewest redeeming musical qualities Video killed the radio star.
Members More Cowbell Posted January 8, 2006 Members Posted January 8, 2006 I like country music. Real country music. Hank Williams is playing right now. This is the {censored}.
Members B-Bottom Posted January 8, 2006 Members Posted January 8, 2006 Emo seems like the natural progression from the woe as me crud that was grunge. And throw in a dash of 80's fashion and that's what it is.
Members brake Posted January 8, 2006 Members Posted January 8, 2006 Originally posted by lug Video killed the radio star. hey, at least that was a good {censored}in' song!
Members lug Posted January 8, 2006 Members Posted January 8, 2006 Originally posted by brake hey, at least that was a good {censored}in' song! Turned out to be quite prophetic. At that point in music history, looks, dancing ability, dressing style, and other such chaff began becomng as or more important than the music itself. This stuff was always part f it, but not nearly as much of the final mix that equaled success.
Members whoneedstherapy Posted January 8, 2006 Members Posted January 8, 2006 ahh give it 6 months to a year and all the emo kids will see how "mainstream" emo is and jump off that bandwagon onto something new.
Members brake Posted January 8, 2006 Members Posted January 8, 2006 Originally posted by lug Turned out to be quite prophetic. At that point in music history, looks, dancing ability, dressing style, and other such chaff began becomng as or more important than the music itself. This stuff was always part f it, but not nearly as much of the final mix that equaled success. i always thought it was a hoot that it was the first video MTV ever aired, too.
Members xdamagexx Posted January 8, 2006 Members Posted January 8, 2006 so u think my nick makes me a emo? lol..... i love the hardcore metal but i ain't no {censored}in EMO...... m/
Members fremenblue Posted January 8, 2006 Members Posted January 8, 2006 Originally posted by 82Daion Yep. I was thinking the same thing this afternoon when I was listening to "Freewill" on the radio, of all places. It was the critical mass of following Rush developed through several years of non-stop touring and word-of-mouth that got them airplay. These days it's simple marketing blitzkriegs of bands that aren't even out of their musical infancy and that have a fraction of the listening base.
Members xdamagexx Posted January 8, 2006 Members Posted January 8, 2006 Originally posted by 82Daion Didn't the same thing happen to Nirvana, punk, and every other disposable counterculture thing? I don't like emo kids, but I tolerate their existence. They'll come around eventually. Anyway, their music sucks. yeah that was called grunge... its all trends.. but i agree most Emo's are posers and their music sucks.. Atreyu sux.... but i do love BDM, and As I Lay Dying.. m/
Members Crescent Seven Posted January 8, 2006 Members Posted January 8, 2006 That article has no credibility because it fails to mention the 4 KEY facets to being emo: -studded belt -Chuck Taylors from the thrift store -"retro" t-shirt, 2 sizes too small, also from thrift store. -lip ring You can't REALLY be emo without at least 3 out of 4 of those things. C7
Members fremenblue Posted January 8, 2006 Members Posted January 8, 2006 Originally posted by xdamagexx yeah that was called grunge... its all trends.. but i agree most Emo's are posers and their music sucks.. Atreyu sux.... but i do love BDM, and As I Lay Dying.. m/ I'm getting to the point in my life, if I started a band it would be called "As I Lay Napping". m/ kerrrrang!*basschord*
Members xdamagexx Posted January 8, 2006 Members Posted January 8, 2006 Originally posted by Crescent Seven That article has no credibility because it fails to mention the 4 KEY facets to being emo: -studded belt -Chuck Taylors from the thrift store -"retro" t-shirt, 2 sizes too small, also from thrift store. -lip ring You can't REALLY be emo without at least 3 out of 4 of those things. C7 i don;t understand wearing the girl clothing and the tightness.. back in my day it was baggy as u could get it.. these poor Emo boys aren't able even to stuff a sock in their crotch... lol m/
Members King Kashue Posted January 8, 2006 Members Posted January 8, 2006 Emo is just another expression of angst and ennui...Every couple of years it morphs into a new form like a caterpillar becoming a moth... Definitions Angst = A sense of rage often felt by Teenagers who are too naive to understand how trivial their problems are... Ennui = Experienced by 20-somethings, essentially the same as Angst, but quieter, since they can't make too much noise in their cubicle or while working the cash register...
Members zenfascist Posted January 8, 2006 Members Posted January 8, 2006 Originally posted by Crescent Seven That article has no credibility because it fails to mention the 4 KEY facets to being emo: -studded belt -Chuck Taylors from the thrift store -"retro" t-shirt, 2 sizes too small, also from thrift store. -lip ring You can't REALLY be emo without at least 3 out of 4 of those things. C7 Yes, well, the area you live in may have to do with the minor variations in what an emo is. And we can forget the most irritating part: that {censored}ing "hardcore dancing"! :mad: Grgh, ya try to start a real pit at a show, and these kids are in the middle flailing their arms around! I'd have no problems with those kids if it weren't for that. I go to the thrift store all the time, and I never see any emos in there. I think they just SAY they get their stuff from the thrift store because they think it's "cool" or something (I like it because it's cheap).
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