Members JacieFB Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 Wake up and die right! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Robin Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 ...sounds like a cow pissin' on a flat rock! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members way2fat Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 It's raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock. I'll slap you so hard you'll starve to death before you quit rolling. He was on it like a chicken on a june bug. He'd crawl over his dying mother to {censored} his dead sister. If a frog had wings, he wouldn't whomp his ass hopping. She {censored}s like a greyhound bitch. It's OK to have your head up your ass, but leave your ears outside. Tighter than a bull's ass in fly season. It feels so good out, I think I'll leave it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Billvarez Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 I'll stomp yer ass in a mudhole, then I'll stomp it dry. Hotter that a $2.00 pistol. Colder than a witch's titty in a brass bra. Slicker than a puppies nubbin. You couldn't find your ass with both hands and a map. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members superiorparts Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 i'm so hungry i could eat the rice out of a dead chinaman's ass. hotter than a blistered dick in a pepper patch. i'll stick my thumb up your ass and pull you inside out. you are dumber than a box of {censored}. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bholder Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 You ninnyhammer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chris-dax Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 Happy as gum.... Harder than Chinese arithmetic... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bholder Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 Uglier than a hat full of assholes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members superiorparts Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 she's so ugly, she could scare the stink off {censored}. dont count your chickens before they hatch. hey, i'm the one {censored}ing this cat. a bird in hand is better than two in the bush. one hand on the piano is not as good as two lips on the organ. your ass is grass and i'm the lawn mower. i'll shove a stick up your ass and make a popsicle out of ya! she walks like her ass is on sideways and she needs to take a {censored}. colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra DOING PUSHUPS IN THE SNOW! that piece of grownd could raise a good hard on. it smells like ass and biscuits in here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Hearafter Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 Handier than a chapped ass. Slicker 'an pig snot. Colder than a pimp's heart. Worthless as a 3-legged cat trying to bury a turd on a frozen pond. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members way2fat Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 Harder than a priest at scout camp. If you told her to haul ass, she'd have to make two trips. Squeal like a shoat in a coal bin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members toolbar Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 damn, boy, you're just like a pet 'coon - what you don't mess up, you {censored} on. - constantly from my dad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members superiorparts Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 damn, boy, you're just like a pet 'coon - what you don't mess up, you {censored} on.- constantly from my dad. that's good stuff! that'll go over like a led zeppelin. if i want any lip out of you i'll unzip my pants. you're so lucky you could {censored} in a swinging jug! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hawkhuff Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 Don't piss in my ear and tell me it's rainin' Homlier 'an Patty's pig. Your eyes are bigger 'an your belly. Queer as a 3 dollar bill. I just heard this one. Don't you sprinkle sugar on some bull{censored} and tell me it's candy. A fart in a mitten. A tall drink of water. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members james on bass Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 "That's slicker than cat {censored} on a linoleum floor". "That's slicker than a fish in a pail of snot". "Sharp as a bag of marbles". "That guy's dumber than a bag of hammers". "You couldn't find your ass with a mirror and a flashlight". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bholder Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 You pays your money and you takes your chances. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bholder Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 Maybe not so "old timer", but one I always liked: If I balanced your brain on a razor blade, it'd be like a pea rolling down the throughway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chris-dax Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 A fart in a mitten. Could you use that in a sentence, please? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members james on bass Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 Not really old-timer either, but when referring to a rather easy female... "Screwing her would be like throwing a hot-dog down a hallway". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chris-dax Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 People of your ilk..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Peaveyherman Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 "You couldnt drive a greased poll up a goats ass". He was talking about driving a tow motor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bassgirl9 Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 Yup, I'll get on that like white on rice. Well I'll be a monkey's uncle. He ain't the sharpest pencil in the box. He's a few sandwiches short of a picnic. You couldn't find your way out of a paperbag if I left you a trail of crumbs to follow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Robin Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 ...is like trying to put an oyster in a parking meter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tylytle Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 You're like a dog chasin' a car, You wouldn't know how to drive it if you caught it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 78pbass Posted July 4, 2007 Members Share Posted July 4, 2007 From Mrs Pbass (and one of her favorites) you'd bitch if you were hung with a new rope. but from our friend Grumpy (who's in his mid 60's)Second cousin to a gorilla (to a hairy person)fart like a pack muleAlways fill the back of the shovel and the frint'll be all taken care of Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.