Members baracuda2004 Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 "That's slicker 'en greased owl {censored}." "If brains was fuel you wouldn't have enough to drive an ants motorcycle around a BB." keep em comin.. I love these things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tylytle Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 After a drunkin night out I was told " your eyes look like two piss holes in the snow" What ever that means... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bholder Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 "There's more ways to kill a cat than chokin' it to death on butter." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Thumper Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 'Shake a leg, son! You're moving like pond water in February!' I first heard that from my grand-dad as a kid. When I heard it as Basic Training years later, I felt right at home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BigPigPeaches Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 "Reminds me of what my grandfather used to say: 'I'm goin upstairs and {censored} your grandmother.'" -G. Carlin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Perfessor Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 I need a little mud for my turtle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members deepblue Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 {censored} and 2 is 8 and 4 is 16..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Flatball Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 If it was raining soup, you'd be out there with a fork. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SYRINGEBASS Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 "That's richer than 4 foot up a bull's ass" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bholder Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 I eat my peas with honey, I've done so all my life - they do taste rather funny, but it keeps them on my knife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jmb374 Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 "It's hotter than two rats {censored}in' in a wool sock." "Quality is like buying oats: If you want nice, clean, fresh oats you must pay a fair price. However, if you can be satisfied with oats that have already been through the horse, that comes a little cheaper..." I overheard this last week after finishing 1/4 mile of bobwire fence. Possibly the first time in human history this saying has been used properly. Spoken by an actual ol'timer: "That'll hold 'em 'till the cows come home" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members superiorparts Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 you cant {censored} the {censored}er. i'll be on you like rust on a pump handle. you couldnt pour piss out of a boot if it had directions on the bottom of it. you dont know {censored} from shinola. you are two bricks short of a load. you are lower than whale {censored} and thats on the bottom of the ocean. money dont make the world go round but it greases the hell out of the axle. wish in one hand and {censored} in the other and see which one fills up faster. the list just keeps going on.................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tylytle Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 Hotter than a red pepper chili fart in the desertIs a pigs ass porkSlower than smoke off {censored}why don't you go play with a knife in the middle of the street. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mudbass Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 If they put your brain in a bird, the bird would fly backwards. ...and if the dog hadn't stopped to {censored}, he would have caught the rabbit. I'll slap you to the far side of nowhere. (my father was fond of this one) Hornier than a two-peckered owl. He looked like he'd been drug through a knothole. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chubrocker Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 If wishes were fishes, I'd have some fried. I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ender_rpm Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 Well, you'll have that in small towns without marshalls... Its a peach of a day!!! So there we were, no {censored}... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jonathan_matos5 Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 Get off my lawn:mad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chris-dax Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 shinier than a dime in a goats ass.... don't go borrowing trouble.... you haven't made a mistake til you run out of wood.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JacieFB Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 I'm busier than a...one-armed paper hanger. ...a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest. ...a cat on a beach with a case of the {censored}s. ...a tired cat in a room full of rocking chairs. You'd {censored} up a wet dream! You'd {censored} up a battleship with a rubber mallot. You'd {censored} up a soup sandwhich. You're useless as tits on a boar hog. You're useless as a priest's balls. Hornier than a ten-peckered billy goat. If you were _____ for {censored}, you wouldn't get a smell. (I got lots more. Sort of a family tradition. I just need to think on it.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JacieFB Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 Faster than a bastard rat. Hotter than a popcorn fart. Hotter than a {censored}ed fox in a forest fire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JacieFB Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 Crazier than a {censored} house rat. Colder than a well digger's asshole. Colder than a witch's tit. Dryer than a popcorn fart. Either somebody {censored} or the whole place farted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Funkee1 Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 Son, you're as useless as tits on a Turtle! Turn around, or I'll slap a face on the back of your head!!! Don't break your back being proud! If I don't see you in the future, I'll see you in the pasture! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JacieFB Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 My boss...I'd bend over backwards for him, but I won't bend over forwards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chris-dax Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 I'll slap your name out the phone book... Quiet as a rat peeing on cotton... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members zachoff Posted July 3, 2007 Members Share Posted July 3, 2007 Anything containing "the dickens". "It's colder than the dickens out here." - My dad says this all the time for some reason. I think it's a Southern Iowa thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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