You know, being married sucks sometimes.

[jasper383]

Paxil isn't the only antidepressant.

 

Also, depression is a spectrum; from the "I don't want to get out of bed today" blues, to agonizing, suicidal, catatonia producing clinical depression.

 

Yes, exercise helps greatly. So does counseling. Do both. But in many cases, antidepressants can help.

[BEAD]

Leave her and marry me.

I'll watch the baby, but you still have to cook.

and I want the car.

[Jazz Ad]

Just an observation based on what you told us.

You seem to take good care of your job, money, house and daughter. I haven't seen much about taking care of your wife.

It's easy enough for a new mother to forget that she's also a woman and an object of desire for her man.

Once she wants to seduce you again, post-partum troubles are over. Act just like you were trying to date her, as difficult as it seems in the situation.

Don't fret over the sex issue. Most women go through this after a baby comes and it can last over a year before things go back to normal.

Now she may need professional help indeed.

[rikshaw]

Just an observation based on what you told us. You seem to take good care of your job, money, house and daughter. I haven't seen much about taking care of your wife. It's easy enough for a new mother to forget that she's also a woman and an object of desire for her man. Once she wants to seduce you again, post-partum troubles are over. Act just like you were trying to date her, as difficult as it seems in the situation. Don't fret over the sex issue. Most women go through this after a baby comes and it can last over a year before things go back to normal. Now she may need professional help indeed.

[Kindness]

Just an observation based on what you told us. You seem to take good care of your job, money, house and daughter. I haven't seen much about taking care of your wife. It's easy enough for a new mother to forget that she's also a woman and an object of desire for her man. Once she wants to seduce you again, post-partum troubles are over. Act just like you were trying to date her, as difficult as it seems in the situation. Don't fret over the sex issue. Most women go through this after a baby comes and it can last over a year before things go back to normal. Now she may need professional help indeed.

 

 

Right on.

[DevilRaysFan]

Wish I could be more helpful but Mrs DRF, little DRF, and Super Good Lookin' DRF (me) are all doing quite well.......

[rikshaw]

Wish I could be more helpful but Mrs DRF, little DRF, and Super Good Lookin' DRF (me) are all doing quite well.......

 

 

sometimes being really sexy just makes your life easier

[Crescent Seven]

sometimes being really sexy just makes your life easier

 

 

They don't call me The Breeze for nothing, the above statement is true and accurate.

[rikshaw]

They don't call me The Breeze for nothing, the above statement is true and accurate.

you're too fat for that description

[Crescent Seven]

you're too fat for that description

You can't tell I'm fat if I don't turn sideways!
C7

[WynnD]

Counseling is much cheaper than divorce. Get professional help now! Sounds like your doing more then most men. (Give yourself a pat on the back and enjoy being a Dad. Best job I ever had!)

It's going to take a while so get started today.

Good luck.

[gretschzildjian]

Sorry to hear all this Dan. I'm afraid I don't have any experience in this field so all I can say is: Good luck with all this!

[bassesofalessergod]

being married sucks sometimes?!?!?!

 

whod'a thunk it?

 

 

 

 

 

[bassesofalessergod]

yo, check this out.

 

a good buddy of mine's sister just had a baby and has since been diagnosed with post-partum PSYCHOSIS!!!

 

can you imagine!

 

she's in a mother/baby psych unit right now for three weeks.

[Synonym Music]

She's testy with our daughter a lot more, she's crazy moody with me and seems as though she's miserable. I carpool to work so she can have the car to go places and get out of the house, which she doesn't do. It doesn't help that she's an introvert. I mean she talks online with local Coast Guard wives all the time but they never actually get together even though they live 5 minutes from us. I mean WTF? She is telling me that she needs "me" time and that I don't help with our daughter enough.

 

 

Ah, the "I don't really want to see anyone right now" blues. It's a rather large indicator of depression. I've had those before and I don't like them. It makes you a hermit. The future outlook becomes more pessimistic, "All this for what?", so on and so forth.

 

The feeling never gets suicidal but it's almost a pain worse than death if it goes on long enough. I would really look into this...

[Markee]

Had four kids, know what you are going thru. Stop and forget all this divorce talk. Get it out of your mind. Hire a nanny for a couple four-six months till she gets leveled out. If, after that time period, she still refuses to address the problem or seek help then what does that say about her? Be consistant and calm around her but don't adapt her problem for her. You need time for yourself also so join a band, any band that has a night a week that practices where you can block the whole family thing out and enjoy something you love to do.

[willsellout]

Divorce isn't an option...actually I hadn't even thought of that really. I just want to fix it.


Dan

[rummy]

Sometimes? lol

[78pbass]

Sometimes? lol

not for some....

[brotherbass]

I would render a guess that this is depression of some sort. Not a problem if dealt with. She may not need to have any type of drugs, just someone neutral to talk with for a while. She probably feels like she has to put on some type of an act with her friends or family and cannot be truthful. Getting her to talk with a professional for the first time is the largest problem. So many people have trouble admitting that they have a problem because of the (real or perceived) stigma of going to counseling. Most likely she is lashing out at you because she has no other outlet. Be very genteel how you brooch the subject, but don

[willsellout]

I spoke with her last night and told her I was worried about her and thought she was in a depression. She agreed and it's obvious we have some things to work on. We are getting her a gym membership and she is going to go with a couple of the other wives, and she is going to start getting out more with her online friends who also have kids. She basically needs to have a life outside the home so we are going to work on that. We also discussed sending her home for a couple weeks to visit with family at the end of summer.


Dan

[Craig Vecchione]

Post-partum Depression only applies to the first month or so after delivery. After that it's simply depression.

 

Get help for both of you. Your description is almost verbatim of what I went through many years ago that led to almost unimaginable problems.

[Svi]

Post-partum Depression only applies to the first month or so after delivery. After that it's simply depression.

 

 

Sorry, but that is dead wrong. If it's within a year, it's postpartum or perinatal depression.

[Crescent Seven]

She basically needs to have a life outside the home so we are going to work on that. We also discussed sending her home for a couple weeks to visit with family at the end of summer.

My wife was having what I considered depression symptoms, and this is what helped her. She's an incredibly hard worker, so she was obsessing on work and home and everything and I had to essentially slap her out of it and demand that she seperate herself from her stress. I'm still trying to get her to find a hobby, and it's been great because my guitarist and his wife are new to town and the wives have hit it off, and both of them have the same issue with overworking themselves and taking it out on us husbands.
They go to movies when the band rehearses, and they're talking about doing a yoga class. Hallelujah. Maybe they'll take pottery classes and stained glass classes and tae kwon do and...wait. No tae kwon do. Bad.

People need friends and social interaction, maybe that will get your wife out of her funk. It worked for mine.
C7

[One_Dude]

Sorry to hear of your situation. I have two boys (men now), one is married with two kids and the other is single. The married son does virtually everything. He does most of the children related responsibilities; feeding, bathing, diapering, and watching them whenever he is at home. All this in addition to teaching full-time. His wife seems to do the bare minimum and I suspect she is more interested in having a career than in having and raising kids. At least she is working part-time now since they need the income.

My wife stayed at home for a little while after each son was born and then started working part-time. While we sure needed the money, she worked mostly to get out of the house. I watched the kids and helped where I could. That arrangement seemed to work well for us. I was always involved in music in one way or another and there was generally plenty of family time still available.

After our sons went off to college things began to change. When there were three males in the house to deflect my wife's attitude things went along relatively smoothly. Now that it's just me at home I am the sole focus of her wrath. I'm beginning to believe that men and women should go their separate ways after the children are raised and they have done their best with that responsibility. I have been to weddings where I wanted to pull the groom aside and tell him how sorry he will be in a few years. I'm sure there are long-term marriages that are happy and contented, but I don't know how they do it; love only goes so far.

JR