Members Roguetitan Posted August 28, 2007 Members Share Posted August 28, 2007 My wife sent this to me in an e-mail I got a chuckle out of it 1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself. 2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop. 3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer. 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze b utton. 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough. 7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. 8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. Daily Thought: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bassgirl9 Posted August 28, 2007 Members Share Posted August 28, 2007 Aha that's pretty good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mudbass Posted August 28, 2007 Members Share Posted August 28, 2007 #9 To cure crabs; shave one testicle and set the other one on fire...then stab the little bastards with an ice pick as they run across. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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