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OT: Girl Question, Regarding This Weekend...


RSBro

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  • Members
Posted

Ok, so once again, I'm talking to my friend "E", who I've dated off/on, been sorta hookup buddies, etc.. the last 7 years or so. I haven't seen her (regularly) in a long time, although we both broke up w/ our collective exes about 3 months ago and went out, but were still too involved or caught up with the exes to really do anything about it.

 

So, we started talking again last week, as she unfortunately is kind of a flaky person. And she does live about an hour away, so I can just hop over and say hi. But she works a lot and is at the gym from about 7:30-10:30 every night, and is a pretty girl and has lots of friends, so I don't always get a call every day, as it's every other or so, as she's on the phone a bunch. So I was supposed to go with her to a work party on Saturday, but I couldn't at first b/c I was supposed to play in Austin, so she took another friend who's girlfriend is her friend. But I know she wanted me to go, I just didn't find out about the cancellation until Thurs PM, and she'd already found someone by then.

 

So it seems good. But, as referenced in my other thread, I hadn't talked to this ex, "S", in about 2 weeks at all. We didn't really "date", as much as just hang out and fool around the last month or two anyhow, so there's not tons of emotional attachment anymore. Anyhow, apparently we ended up back at my cousin's house, and either slept together or something close, even though I don't recall it at all, she says so, so I naturally believe her.

But I feel kind of {censored}ty for it, even though I have no ill will against her and she even told me it was her asking me to do it. But that part with her is ok-

what I'm starting to feel bad about is, even though I didn't consciously do it, I'm still hooking up w/ someone while "talking" to her. We haven't officially started anything, as much as me just telling her what she's going to have to do for a relationship to work, which she said she was fine with.

 

So, I mean do I need to feel bad, or tell her, or just let it go and move on with it? We've had a weird past in the last 7 years or so, and we've gotten together and broken up so many times it's kinda crazy, but college relationships are weird like that, and we're both 26 now and don't want to fool around anymore and if we're gonna do it, then do it right.

I guess I'm just not gonna be able to hang out w/ my ex anymore when intense drinking will be a factor. I never lose sense of time or have blackout spots, so not sure why I did Saturday.

Anyhow, we'll see if "E" is still fine w/ everything, before I get too worried about it. She's backed out plenty of times before...

  • Members
Posted

I think you need to stop drinking.

 

Oh, and hit both of them at least once more. Take pictures too.

  • Members
Posted

 

stop drinking that much

 

 

Yeah like I said in the other thread, I never go out anymore, so I just kinda let loose. I'm usually never like that. Problem is, I tell my cousin not to order anymore, but she's a full blown alcoholic, so after a while she doesn't care anymore either and won't listen.

  • Members
Posted

Once again, J steps in with excellent advice all the way around.
:thu:

 

Well I'm planning on "S" soon this week, before and if I start going out with "E"... I think that's a good plan. :p

 

I won't be back at the bar for a while. :)

  • CMS Author
Posted

Wow. Drama. If you aren't in a commited relationship, and you are not, then your business with anyone else is your business. If asked, answer honestly, and there should be no problem, since....you're not in a commited relationship.

 

For all you know, "E" could be banging the entire gym staff from 7:30-10:30 every night.

  • Members
Posted

 

Wow. Drama. If you aren't in a commited relationship, and you are not, then your business with anyone else is your business. If asked, answer honestly, and there should be no problem, since....you're not in a commited relationship.


For all you know, "E" could be banging the entire gym staff from 7:30-10:30 every night.

 

 

Well I know she's not a whore (unless she turned into one recently, although she broke up w/ her last bf b/c he wouldn't sleep with her or even do anything, and was a porn addict, turned out to be in the end) and we were actually each other's firsts.

 

But I get your point. I guess you can't cheat on someone you aren't even dating yet.

  • Members
Posted

 

I think you need to stop drinking.


Oh, and hit both of them at least once more. Take pictures too.

 

 

And while you are at it...SIITB.

  • Members
Posted

I need some pics of "E" and "S" to make an informed decision for you.

 

Well I know which one I want and don't want, I just needed to get reassurance that it's none of "E's" damn business what I do until we're committed to each other... and I have found that here. :)

  • Moderators
Posted

Perhaps you're feeling the way you feel, because you're getting tired of the rat race and want to settle down. "E" does hold a special place in your heart and you feel the need to explore that issue. As craigv stated, you're not in a relationship, so unless she asks specifically it's probably not a big deal . . . . . .but it seems to be because it bothers you. My advice would be 1) lay off the sauce, because your fly has trouble staying zipped even when sober, and 2) you might want to forego the other exes and assorted vimmins so you can make an honest evaluation of whether or not you and "E" are in the same place in life and would make a good fit at this time compared to previous attempts, which may have ended due to lack of maturity or lack of desire to nest.

 

Good luck with whatever you choose to do here. :)

  • Members
Posted

Problem is, I tell my cousin not to order anymore, but she's a full blown alcoholic, so after a while she doesn't care anymore either and won't listen.

 

So you've got a pretty good chance at tapping her then too?

:D

 

 

 

Seriously, dude.

If you haven't committed to anyone, do what/who you want when you want.

If you're honest, they can't {censored} on you for that.

If they do then they weren't worth the time in the first place.

  • Members
Posted

I was trying to be helpful in offering you a reference point for your dilemma.

 

To spell it out more clearly: do the right thing

 

 

 

;)

 

 

 

 

Just lay the cards on the table - no drama just there it is, take it or leave it.

  • Members
Posted

I was trying to be helpful in offering you a reference point for your dilemma.


To spell it out more clearly: do the right thing




;)




Just lay the cards on the table - no drama just there it is, take it or leave it.

 

Yeah that's the problem, I know she's going to ask what I did Saturday. I used to always get onto her about "lying by omission", yet I'm probably going to do that here too. I'm not sure why it bothers me, but I mean really, we haven't even kissed or done anything physical, just talked. So, yeah. We'll see how I feel about it next time I talk to her, but I probably won't mention that.

Honestly too, I don't even remember what I did to tell her.

  • Members
Posted

Well I know which one I want and don't want, I just needed to get reassurance that it's none of "E's" damn business what I do until we're committed to each other... and I have found that here.
:)

 

Well...in that case. I don't think it's her business, but I might feel guilty about it too.

  • Members
Posted

 

Well...in that case. I don't think it's her business, but I might feel guilty about it too.

 

 

That's what sucks, cause I already sorta am...

  • Members
Posted

Telling her you slept with another girl will mess things up. Don't do it. Lie if you have to. Jealousy is a real emotion, and has nothing to do with rational thought or logic.

  • Members
Posted

for {censored}s sake; date a normal girl, fall in love, get married, have kids, go bald, get a sportscar, sleep with your secretary and retire like everyone else! ;)

 

seriously, If you keep having wrecked and complex relationships, perhaps its time for some 3rd person evaluation? Seriously, seeking a professional for an assessment will either confirm that you are normal, or let you know you are not and have areas of improvement to get to work on.

  • Members
Posted

for {censored}s sake; date a normal girl, fall in love, get married, have kids, go bald, get a sportscar, sleep with your secretary and retire like everyone else!
;)

seriously, If you keep having wrecked and complex relationships, perhaps its time for some 3rd person evaluation? Seriously, seeking a professional for an assessment will either confirm that you are normal, or let you know you are not and have areas of improvement to get to work on.

 

Your first paragraph is what I'm working on! ;) (but I've actually already slept with and dated both of our secretarys, the two that are under 30, so... :D).

 

I don't know what my problem is. Actually, I do- I get bored WAY too easily. I'm not sure if it's b/c I keep going back and forth with the same girls I've already gone out with or what, but it's something honestly that bothers the hell out of me. Cause when I DO get married (or if, at the rate I'm going), I don't want to wake up and go "I've made a horrible mistake", or even doubt it.

 

I had this one screw up, but I'm not pursuing it, and frankly I don't even know what happened to even tell "E". So, just gonna let it go I think...

  • Members
Posted

You and matos have this problem with overthinking things. Just be cool. It's not that hard.

 

If she's flaky or weird in any way, move on. It's that simple. The world is full of weirdo chicks, they'll find a weirdo guy soon enough, you don't need to come to their rescue because they can't be saved.

 

Let me remind you that you're better off being single than dealing with bull{censored}. Your hand will never let you down, and if it does, your other hand loves you just as much.

C7

  • Members
Posted

 

You and matos have this problem with overthinking things. Just be cool. It's not that hard.


If she's flaky or weird in any way, move on. It's that simple. The world is full of weirdo chicks, they'll find a weirdo guy soon enough, you don't need to come to their rescue because they can't be saved.


Let me remind you that you're better off being single than dealing with bull{censored}. Your hand will never let you down, and if it does, your other hand loves you just as much.

C7

 

 

Yeah I'm basically just saying if you're in, you're in, and let me know. But we are pretty close and have been for a long time, so I just thought I'd give it a shot to see if she's still gonna half ass it. If so, I have other chicks to bang.

 

It's not too tough.

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