Members Joey Joe Joe Posted January 7, 2008 Author Members Share Posted January 7, 2008 I'm willing to bet that they aren't shunning you or punishing you for not being hooked up. If they're your friends, they probably respect your decision not to marry. Couples just get caught up with themselves. However, you may have to invent new ways of hanging out with them."Hey I just bought this new video game, how 'bout you give the wife a night out etc." or something along those lines. I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Brother Mango Posted January 7, 2008 Members Share Posted January 7, 2008 Times change. People grow in a different direction have different priorities. This is nothing new. Understanding that it's a fact doesn't make it any easier to accept. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Goofball Jones Posted January 7, 2008 Members Share Posted January 7, 2008 Understanding that it's a fact doesn't make it any easier to accept. Sure it does...because it shows you can't really DO anything about it...which leads to acceptance which leads to fear. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. Er...wait...got off track there....what was I saying? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members The Real MC Posted January 7, 2008 Members Share Posted January 7, 2008 Couples tend to gravitate to other couples in a search for common ground - mostly for discussion about relationship, kids, things to do, places to go. Couples don't get together to discuss beer, pizza, computer games, jamming, or groupies. It is very normal. That's life. It may also be the manipulative spouse trying to shut out their SO's single friends. There isn't much you can do if your buddy submits to the manipulative tactic. I am divorced and I still maintain a relationship with the couples I knew when I was married. I also still kept in contact with my single friends. Now that I have a new job and have moved away, it has been a bit harder finding friends to hang out with as most everybody here is married. But I am in no hurry to get married just to find friends to hang around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members One Bad Monkey Posted January 8, 2008 Members Share Posted January 8, 2008 Understanding that it's a fact doesn't make it any easier to accept. Sure it does. My little group of friends from high school (five of us) used to be really tight. The first one that got married (11 years ago now) got all sorts of {censored} from one of the other guys for not being around as much, not hanging with us, etc.. I didn't say anything because 1. I realized he was in a different position than us life-wise, and 2. I liked his wife, and usually whenever they had couples over, she said "Get your friend Jon over too. He's fun." I think a lot of people forget that when folks get married, you're not losing a friend. If anything, you are gaining another friend in their significant other. Granted, if you and the sig. other don't get along, you can forget about seeing your friend regularly. But I've never found an issue with hanging out with friends who are in different life situations (all of us are married, and the first group just had their second kid) on a regular basis. If anything, since we don't hang out that often anymore it makes those times better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Super Bass Posted January 8, 2008 Members Share Posted January 8, 2008 Thankfully I don't really have that problem, most of my friends are aged between 20 and 25 and none are married. Most of us are single or just dating at the moment but even when we were in couples we hung out. Well except for me, my ex hated my friends. But I still hung out with them, just without her. She got pretty jealous, I think because my friends are mixed about 50/50 guys and girls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members FreestyleIntruder Posted January 8, 2008 Members Share Posted January 8, 2008 No, I avoid this problem by not having any friends Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Detox Posted January 8, 2008 Members Share Posted January 8, 2008 With my group of friends, the unwritten rule was that when you got married, you were out. This was because the first of us guys who got hitched tried to still hang out with us as if he wasn't married, and was generally an embarrassment to everyone. When I got married at 28, I never saw my friends who I'd had since the age of 5 again. That's just the way we did it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SelenaBassGirl Posted January 8, 2008 Members Share Posted January 8, 2008 Yes-and it is due to lack of things in common. But they have to understand, just b/c you have a spouse and kids doesn't mean your fun is over with! I am a mommy with 3 kids (15,13 and 7) and I still get to enjoy going out time to time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Les_Izzmor Posted January 8, 2008 Members Share Posted January 8, 2008 What happens is when you get married and have kids you have other things to do. I know I'd love to hang out with my friends from high school every weekend. It's just that we all have {censored} to do these days. It's not like they don't want to hang out, it's just not feasible. My wife and never really had a problem. We like to do our own thing and we had a great baby-sitter. But. I do know some people the disappeared for a few years. And. We still hang out with our single friends all the time. Each situation is different. And. JJJ. That Bogster guy seems to be in the same boat as you. Hmmm. You guys have something in common. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bassman1956 Posted January 8, 2008 Members Share Posted January 8, 2008 Yup. Lose them to marriage. And divorce. If a couple splits, you will lose at least one as a friend, and often both. YMMV. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members venturawest Posted January 8, 2008 Members Share Posted January 8, 2008 anyone catch the new chris rock special that was on comedy central last week? the last half hour was dedicated to why he hates hanging out with married people. in his words: "BECAUSE THEY'RE BOOOORRRRIIIINNNGGG". that's why, he says, single people eat dinner in an hour - they have {censored} to get to and have fun. married couples will close restaurants with other married couples talking about which way they take to get to work in the morning. so glad i'm not married! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Super_Donut_Man Posted January 8, 2008 Members Share Posted January 8, 2008 Man you sound exactly like my friend. Same thing happened, pretty much he is the only hold out. What I have discovered recently, is that after a while it all went back to the same old time, maybe less frequently hanging out because life gets busy now that we are all out of school, and are settled in our jobs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 2tall Posted January 8, 2008 Members Share Posted January 8, 2008 Most of those "friends" that I used to hang out with ended up just being a bunch of "hopheads".Meaning they just were around for the party......losers! I sometimes wonder hown things turned out for them, but I don't really miss them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Joey Joe Joe Posted January 8, 2008 Author Members Share Posted January 8, 2008 anyone catch the new chris rock special that was on comedy central last week? the last half hour was dedicated to why he hates hanging out with married people. in his words: "BECAUSE THEY'RE BOOOORRRRIIIINNNGGG". that's why, he says, single people eat dinner in an hour - they have {censored} to get to and have fun. married couples will close restaurants with other married couples talking about which way they take to get to work in the morning. so glad i'm not married! Amen! I love my friends, but christ, I hate sitting through those boring conversations about pregnancy food cravings, 'what my super cute kid did last week', or painting the upstairs bathroom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Les_Izzmor Posted January 9, 2008 Members Share Posted January 9, 2008 Amen! I love my friends, but christ, I hate sitting through those boring conversations about pregnancy food cravings, 'what my super cute kid did last week', or painting the upstairs bathroom. Funny you should say that. Because when I go out with my friends that's the last thing we talk about. Married {censored}. What's the use of getting away, if you're just gonna talk about it all night? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rikshaw Posted January 9, 2008 Members Share Posted January 9, 2008 my wife was my best friend before we got married! :mad::mad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Bogster Posted January 9, 2008 Members Share Posted January 9, 2008 Amen! I love my friends, but christ, I hate sitting through those boring conversations about pregnancy food cravings, 'what my super cute kid did last week', or painting the upstairs bathroom. Thankfully, our guitarist (with his tribe of kids) barely ever talks about his kids at all. A rarity for sure. Maybe he saves it up for other people besides his bandmates? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Joey Joe Joe Posted January 9, 2008 Author Members Share Posted January 9, 2008 Thankfully, our guitarist (with his tribe of kids) barely ever talks about his kids at all. A rarity for sure. Maybe he saves it up for other people besides his bandmates? It's usually the wives that do that sort of talking. I include the wives in my complaining about 'friends'. I like hanging out with them too... well, at least I used to. Back when they were just girlfriends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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