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Your Favorite Single-Pickup Lines?


chris-dax

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Man: Haven't I seen you somewhere before?

Woman: Yes that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there calls you a fat

slut.

 

Man: Is this seat empty?

Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: There's no need to get on your knees and suck me off just yet.

 

Man: Your place or mine?

Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: That's cool, cause after I'm done shagging you in the back of

my car, I don't give a {censored} where you go.

 

Man: So, what do you do for a living?

Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: That explains the moustache then!

 

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?

Woman: Unfertilised.

Man: No problem, I'll just shoot my load up your arse.

 

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.

Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: Probably, cause you seem like the kind of chick that is impossible to shake off once you've been shagged.

 

(only works for northerners)

Man: Would you like to dance?

Woman: I'd rather eat glass.

Man: I think you mis-heard me. I said you look fat in those pants

 

Man: Where have you been all my life?

Woman: Fortunately, somewhere else.

Man: Just as well cos I've been shagging your mum while your dad watches.

 

Man: You're pretty

Woman: Piss off.

Man: Don't interrupt, You're pretty... ugly, you fat bitch.

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If I told you you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

 

Your tag is showing, it says "Made in Heaven."

 

Not one liners:

M: Did it hurt?

W: Did what hurt?

M: When you fell from heaven...

 

*this one I've actually seen work*

M: How much does a polar bear weigh?

W: I dunno, how much?

M: Enough to break the ice...

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[Grab the ass] Pardon me, is this seat taken?

 

If you were words on a page, you'd be what they call FINE PRINT!

 

Is that a keg in your pants? Because I'd love to tap that ass. (C7 approved)

 

Please do not be alarmed if a big man wearing a red suit picks you up and throws you into a bag. (Why?) Because I asked for you for Christmas. :freak:

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Hey sexy. I like shoelaces, bow-ties, and motorized wheelchairs. Wanna go back to my place and use all three?

 

Hey baby, everything I'm going to do to you tonight I learned at SeaWorld.

 

You see my friend over there? Good. I thought the drugs were starting to make me hallucinate.

 

Pardon me miss, but I can't help noticing that you have cum in your hair.

 

Hi, you must be called '3M', because I've got a roll of duct tape with your name on it

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