Members Crescent Seven Posted September 28, 2008 Members Share Posted September 28, 2008 So my friend is getting married next weekend, and his bride's bachelorette party was tonight. I dropped my wife off and went back to pick her up at about 1am. When I showed up, two of my homeboys were just arriving as well, to pick up their ladies. We went inside together. Apparently, we missed the male strippers by about 10 minutes, because as soon as we walked in the door, we were attacked by the women. I think every woman at this party touched me at least once. I even got the distinct pleasure of motorboating the bride's tits. She grabbed my head and stuck it in her cleave, and of course I was obliged to blurbalablurbalbrlurbalablurbabburba. I got my wang groped by her mother, her mother's friend, my wife, some giant fat chick, and the bride's cousin (I think). My ass was pinched and smacked, my leg was dry humped, my nipples were pinched several times, and my neck was licked. I had several penis shaped objects thrust into my face, gave a piggy back ride to some chick I never want to meet again, and after that, I dragged my wife out to the car and took her home. I just got done carrying her to bed. I won't say I didn't enjoy it, but I certainly wasn't expecting to walk into a den of horny women. I thought the party was winding down. Nope. C7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Scary Bill Posted September 28, 2008 Members Share Posted September 28, 2008 sounds like a fun night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Hearafter Posted September 28, 2008 Members Share Posted September 28, 2008 ...I won't say I didn't enjoy it..C7 You better not! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Crescent Seven Posted September 28, 2008 Author Members Share Posted September 28, 2008 sounds like a fun night. That all happened within a 10 minute timeframe. I sat on the couch and watched Sportscenter and Football Follies, and stayed totally sober up. I was ready to fall asleep, now I can't get the image of those boobs rushing towards my face out of my head. C7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jonjohn Posted September 28, 2008 Members Share Posted September 28, 2008 blurbalablurbalbrlurbalablurbabburba. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Zamfir Posted September 28, 2008 Members Share Posted September 28, 2008 Everything seemed quite excellent until... I had several penis shaped objects thrust into my face Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members fretless Posted September 28, 2008 Members Share Posted September 28, 2008 [quote=I had several penis shaped objects thrust into my face, C7 Sigmund Freud voice on * go on my son , here have some cocaine * Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mlwarriner Posted September 28, 2008 Members Share Posted September 28, 2008 no pics = no party Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Teletypist Posted September 28, 2008 Members Share Posted September 28, 2008 So let me get this "straight": You were behind some male strippers? Hmmmmmmmmm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BeeTL Posted September 28, 2008 Members Share Posted September 28, 2008 Well, it sounds like your wife has made a compete recovery... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Crescent Seven Posted September 28, 2008 Author Members Share Posted September 28, 2008 Well, it sounds like your wife has made a compete recovery... For the most part. I'm sure her head hurts this morning; she had to work. C7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators isaac42 Posted September 28, 2008 Moderators Share Posted September 28, 2008 So let me get this "straight":You were behind some male strippers?Hmmmmmmmmm They say you're not gay if you only pitch... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Crescent Seven Posted September 28, 2008 Author Members Share Posted September 28, 2008 Everything seemed quite excellent until... Seriously, but you know about the party favors they use at those parties. They had a beer bong with a giant penis for the mouthpiece. C7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members georgestrings Posted September 28, 2008 Members Share Posted September 28, 2008 They say you're not gay if you only pitch(and in prison)... Fixed... - georgestrings Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Teletypist Posted September 28, 2008 Members Share Posted September 28, 2008 They say you're not gay if you only pitch... OK, but how many decent pitchers are there?Like, look at the Mets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members t3ch Posted September 28, 2008 Members Share Posted September 28, 2008 Nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members solderjunkie Posted September 28, 2008 Members Share Posted September 28, 2008 Seriously, but you know about the party favors they use at those parties. They had a beer bong with a giant penis for the mouthpiece. C7 Did you hit it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Crescent Seven Posted September 28, 2008 Author Members Share Posted September 28, 2008 Did you hit it? Negative. The two guys that I showed up with are both big, tatooed Juggalos, and one of them was gracious enough to allow the girls to put a penis-tipped straw into his 40 of Old English, and a big penis sticker on his forehead. My wife was so drunk that she thought she was in trouble for going to a party that had strippers. Like I give a {censored}, she prefers female strippers anyways:D C7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hi.flyer Posted September 28, 2008 Members Share Posted September 28, 2008 ...Juggalos... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Crescent Seven Posted September 28, 2008 Author Members Share Posted September 28, 2008 They're two of the best friends I've ever had, they've always had my back and have never shanked me over anything. I'm not a fan of the culture, but they're not the methed-out idiots you've come to know and love. C7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Optimus Prime Posted September 28, 2008 Members Share Posted September 28, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Roger in the sky Posted September 28, 2008 Members Share Posted September 28, 2008 that's funny my girlfreind and i spent the night with a bunch of female strippers going to the strip club was actually her idea, best girlfreind ever? yes. had a few beers and the GF picked out a smoking hot little russian number who got FREAKY on her in the back. god damn the best part is knowing that the girl hanging onto me and whispering in my ear was not trying to make a profit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members brake Posted September 29, 2008 Members Share Posted September 29, 2008 Going to a strip club with your girlfriend is the coolest thing ever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MTMTEX Posted September 30, 2008 Members Share Posted September 30, 2008 Originally Posted by Crescent Seven I had several penis shaped objects thrust into my face I have never wanted someone elses quote in my sig.....until now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.