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I realized that I was an idiot.


Optimus Prime

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OK, after a very intense few weeks that ended in some serious thought and self evaluation along with some lifestyle changes. I've realized that I overreacted a few weeks ago in the SVT thread. Let me try to explain, or honestly, make some bull{censored} excuses as to why I did what I did.

 

 

Hope away...that amp can pop avatar drivers like pustulent zits if you redline it.


Why on earth would you do that though?


Look - you've got a piece of pro gear.
Don't be a {censored}ing moron
- use it wisely.

 

 

That is what set me off. I was having a really, really bad week (most of which I don't remember anymore) and that pissed me off. I didn't actually mean turn both the gain and master to 10 and blowing my speakers. I meant I wanted to take the amp somewhere where I don't have to worry about neighbors and see what it could really do.

 

I'm sorry for being an idiot. The past month has been really hard on me. I can't really talk about it here without getting into trouble for it. But that's over now. I quit doing what I was doing. I'm not doing any better. But I suppose I'm handling it more responsibly.

 

Still haven't got the damn SVT fixed. I figured I'd have to drive to Tampa or Orlando for a warranty repair shop. So I kept putting it off. As it turns out, there's a shop right here in Ft Myers. I've put a few calls into the dude, but got no answers.

 

In other news, I sold my '77 Jazz. Payed off a large debt. And am now thinking about picking up a Mesa 1000 cab. Which, from what I understand, is just an older version of the 1200.

 

EDIT: And also, instead of going out with friends tonight and running the risk of slipping up, I'm staying home alone tonight with all the lights out listening to a ton of Electric Wizard, Sleep and Orange Goblin. I need to update my stoner metal library.

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Who cares about this stuff....I wanna hear about the earbuds
:eek:

And I hope you have things a little more in order in your life or at least in a place where you can deal with them in a healthy way.

There's not any more order than there was a couple weeks ago and I have no place to go to deal with any of it. I'm just doing the best I can with what I've got. I'm not doing any better than I was. :facepalm:

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I figured you were just having a bad week or something. I don't think Bob meant any harm by that comment. I bet everyone's already forgotten about it all though.


Hope all your stuff gets sorted out.

Try a bad month. :facepalm: I don't know about you, but when I get called a {censored}ing moron, I tend to think the person that said it mean harm in some way.

 

Thanks.

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it's good to hear you've gotten rid of the booze. it sounds like you could cut out 1/3 to 1/2 of the stuff you didnt like doing if you didn't drink so heavily.

 

i know how you feel about getting the girl in trouble. as bad as you feel doing something stupid to yourself, it's 100x worse when someone else catches {censored} for it.

 

is there anything you can do to get more hours at work? i know things are pretty dead this time of year in most sectors. a second job maybe?

 

sounds like theres only a few things you need to fix. might not be easy but at least its somewhat straight forward. best of luck dude. honestly.

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it's good to hear you've gotten rid of the booze. it sounds like you could cut out 1/3 to 1/2 of the stuff you didnt like doing if you didn't drink so heavily.


i know how you feel about getting the girl in trouble. as bad as you feel doing something stupid to yourself, it's 100x worse when someone else catches {censored} for it.


is there anything you can do to get more hours at work? i know things are pretty dead this time of year in most sectors. a second job maybe?


sounds like theres only a few things you need to fix. might not be easy but at least its somewhat straight forward. best of luck dude. honestly.

{censored} was getting intense. I was spending money I didn't have on {censored} I didn't need. :cry:

 

Yeah. I feel so {censored}ty about getting her in trouble. That {censored} up that night killed my chances with her. And that's a damn shame. Best looking female I know. Seriously, that ranks up there with the biggest mistakes of my life. :cry:

 

Nope. We're soooo dead. I sit on my ass for like half of the time I spend there. I went to my old location asking for my job back. Because everyone there is still getting 40 hours a week. My old manager said yes, my new manager said yes. But the regional manager said he can't have people bouncing back and forth like that. :cry:

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That sucks man. Time for a new job. Once you can pay your bills everything will settle out. Have any family that can hook you up short term?

 

Absolutely not. My family sucks. The person I'm closest to in my family is my uncle. And he's on the run in 5 states for heroin possession, 3 counts of grand theft auto and dealing controlled substances. He stayed with us for a couple months. He's a real good guy. It doesn't sound like it. But he's helped me through a lot of {censored}, because he's been exactly where I am. Unfortunately he moved back to West Virginia a couple months ago.

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I called the next day to apologize for being an idiot and to ask if I said or did anything obnoxious. Thankfully I didn't. But she got in trouble the next for the bottle of 153 that she left on her kitchen counter. I felt like {censored} for that. I've honestly never felt that guilty. I still regret that night. I've tried to call a few times since then. But she won't answer her phone. That kinda depresses me a little.

 

Anyone want to offer any advice on how to fix this situation?

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