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Anyone want to play with this dude?


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Sweet Jesus, send me a Drummer, Bass Player and Vocalist,,please. (Kansas City)



Reply to: comm-1031484776@craigslist.org [?]

Date: 2009-02-12, 12:53AM CST




This city is bleak.

The amount of pretentious, unprofessional, half-wits soliciting for 'band members', on Craig's List is disconcerting.


Myself and another guitar player have spent the last 4 months writing music with

another friend who is in an established band. I would mention the name but I don't

want to bias the opinion of any potential band members.


Listen, I need solid people who play like they mean it. We are going to record

in a very tight studio that is still being built, but almost completed. Then, I would like to immediately pursue every road out of this city as quickly as possible. In the mean time we will sidestep the usual fare of sh6thole local

dive bars and play on bills at the better venues in the region, with audiences there to see us.


Here's the 'requisite' list of essential character traits, skills, gear, etc.

-Have crappy to really crappy gear. We want to sound as local as possible.

-Look like a person you would never want to see on a stage

-Take steps to ensure you have no way to get to rehearsal 3 times a week

-Be married or have a partner that b7tches all the time and wants to see you

and your talent squandered, forever, in Kansas or Missouri

-Bring a bad smack habit or a constant coke 'jones' with you

-Aspire to 'banality and mediocrity', with a vision of being plastered

on television magazines in between Lindsey Lohan and Britney Spears

-Rest on your past successes and continue to believe they were successes,

even though your reading this ad looking to find a gig

-Hate everyone who looks different, f8cks differently, or believes in

another 'God', no 'God' or 'Many Gods'

-Take more from the table than you bring to it

-Persist your unawareness that 'soul' and 'balls' are something you cannot

play music or create art, without

-Consider any live performance a good time to get smashed and parade around the

stage like an unprofessional, over-animated, foul-mouthed amateur

-Be more concerned with the skin color, gender or sexual orientation of

your potential band mates than their raw talent and potential contribution

to the group

-Be younger than 21 or older than 34 (if you are really young, make sure you

are not a pretty wise and disciplined individual)

-Have an utter disassociation with knowledge of real history, and current

world events. Believe the news and make sure you are an utter materialistic


-Display a suspended disbelief that the guy who just left the White House has

been replaced by a guy who actually gives a d6mn about you

-Be hard to get along with, especially when entertaining the creative

suggestions of others in your band

-Make a jackass of yourself anytime you are out and it may reflect poorly

on anyone else in your band

-Disregard the importance of spending one day a week with your band where

rehearsal is not the objective, but hanging out is.

-Have no capacity to appreciate deep, deep sarcasm AND show yourself

to be incapable of dishing it out in your own way


So, if you think you can live up to those expectations, it would behoove you to

contact me.


We are quite serious about making solid music that will have it's own sound because it didn't try to have it's own sound. At the same time, the creative process should be fun and stress can be minimized by getting the right people in

the band.

You need to know you are solid (even if you are a bit out of practice).

But if you are an 'overchopper' who is convinced they should dictate strict terms and function as a 'gigging, hired musician' (local cover band career hack) than you are too jaded. Get over yourself.





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I'm actually really thinking about it. I'm at a point where i don't think my current band is going to amount to anything due to lack of moviation. These guys are serious and that's good to know off the bat. A little jaded hell yeah, but maybe he's cool once you get to know him.


See i'm already rationalizing!


I'm gonna do it.

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