Members chickbird Posted February 12, 2009 Members Share Posted February 12, 2009 Sweet Jesus, send me a Drummer, Bass Player and Vocalist,,please. (Kansas City) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Reply to: comm-1031484776@craigslist.org [?]Date: 2009-02-12, 12:53AM CST This city is bleak. The amount of pretentious, unprofessional, half-wits soliciting for 'band members', on Craig's List is disconcerting. Myself and another guitar player have spent the last 4 months writing music with another friend who is in an established band. I would mention the name but I don't want to bias the opinion of any potential band members. Listen, I need solid people who play like they mean it. We are going to record in a very tight studio that is still being built, but almost completed. Then, I would like to immediately pursue every road out of this city as quickly as possible. In the mean time we will sidestep the usual fare of sh6thole local dive bars and play on bills at the better venues in the region, with audiences there to see us. Here's the 'requisite' list of essential character traits, skills, gear, etc. -Have crappy to really crappy gear. We want to sound as local as possible. -Look like a person you would never want to see on a stage -Take steps to ensure you have no way to get to rehearsal 3 times a week -Be married or have a partner that b7tches all the time and wants to see you and your talent squandered, forever, in Kansas or Missouri -Bring a bad smack habit or a constant coke 'jones' with you -Aspire to 'banality and mediocrity', with a vision of being plastered on television magazines in between Lindsey Lohan and Britney Spears -Rest on your past successes and continue to believe they were successes, even though your reading this ad looking to find a gig -Hate everyone who looks different, f8cks differently, or believes in another 'God', no 'God' or 'Many Gods' -Take more from the table than you bring to it -Persist your unawareness that 'soul' and 'balls' are something you cannot play music or create art, without -Consider any live performance a good time to get smashed and parade around the stage like an unprofessional, over-animated, foul-mouthed amateur -Be more concerned with the skin color, gender or sexual orientation of your potential band mates than their raw talent and potential contribution to the group -Be younger than 21 or older than 34 (if you are really young, make sure you are not a pretty wise and disciplined individual) -Have an utter disassociation with knowledge of real history, and current world events. Believe the news and make sure you are an utter materialistic shill -Display a suspended disbelief that the guy who just left the White House has been replaced by a guy who actually gives a d6mn about you -Be hard to get along with, especially when entertaining the creative suggestions of others in your band -Make a jackass of yourself anytime you are out and it may reflect poorly on anyone else in your band -Disregard the importance of spending one day a week with your band where rehearsal is not the objective, but hanging out is. -Have no capacity to appreciate deep, deep sarcasm AND show yourself to be incapable of dishing it out in your own way So, if you think you can live up to those expectations, it would behoove you to contact me. We are quite serious about making solid music that will have it's own sound because it didn't try to have it's own sound. At the same time, the creative process should be fun and stress can be minimized by getting the right people in the band. You need to know you are solid (even if you are a bit out of practice). But if you are an 'overchopper' who is convinced they should dictate strict terms and function as a 'gigging, hired musician' (local cover band career hack) than you are too jaded. Get over yourself. Peace, Sean Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Goofball Jones Posted February 12, 2009 Members Share Posted February 12, 2009 Wow, it's like he was looking at me when he was describing everything on that list! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LouSpaceMonkey Posted February 12, 2009 Members Share Posted February 12, 2009 Sheesh, Jaded much Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SunofNothing Posted February 12, 2009 Members Share Posted February 12, 2009 all that sacarsm about stupid people and misused "your". any music from this dude? Otherwise its' a lot of talk huh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mlwarriner Posted February 12, 2009 Members Share Posted February 12, 2009 saw his ad last night, was thinking about replying just for grins. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SunofNothing Posted February 12, 2009 Members Share Posted February 12, 2009 I'm actually really thinking about it. I'm at a point where i don't think my current band is going to amount to anything due to lack of moviation. These guys are serious and that's good to know off the bat. A little jaded hell yeah, but maybe he's cool once you get to know him. See i'm already rationalizing! I'm gonna do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members punchclock Posted February 22, 2009 Members Share Posted February 22, 2009 sounds like he needs to spend a little more time playing and less time bitching and hanging out on his computer....oh. uh, well, ok, fine.... do as i say, not as i do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Chaos5522 Posted February 22, 2009 Members Share Posted February 22, 2009 I wouldn't play with him, but i would send him a "douchebags of America" union card Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members yanikins Posted February 22, 2009 Members Share Posted February 22, 2009 Come on.... Who hasn't thouht this at some stage? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members punchclock Posted February 22, 2009 Members Share Posted February 22, 2009 guilty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sugarskull Posted February 22, 2009 Members Share Posted February 22, 2009 Funny, a little too in your face up front for me. I wouldn't call him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Roger in the sky Posted February 22, 2009 Members Share Posted February 22, 2009 listen i didnt rad that {censored} t. too mahtn yw owrodns to be takn tswerisoly/. wtad? who thinks that dognna eradyhn t/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Perfessor Posted February 22, 2009 Members Share Posted February 22, 2009 Call him, set it up and don't show. He left that one off the list anyway! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members poomwah Posted February 22, 2009 Members Share Posted February 22, 2009 makes me glad I don't live in KC anymore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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