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My Neighbor is a Selfish Jerk


Phantasm

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Okay, this has been super bizarro Monday and this is the icing on the cake.

 

So I've got this huge live oak tree in my backyard near my fence. Ever since I've moved here, the neighbor behind me has asked me repeatedly to cut it down because he doesn't like the tree. He's also asked me to sell him the part of my backyard that the tree is on because he wants to expand his backyard. Repeatedly I've told him that if he wants to pay to have the tree cut down by a bonded, licensed arborist I'll allow him to have it removed. Otherwise the tree stays.

 

Well, within the past year the neighbor came and informed me that he was going to be replacing the fence that separates our yards. He asked if he could remove a banana tree that's on our side of the fence and I told him that was okay. He asked me again to cut down the oak tree and I told him I can't afford to have it removed but if he wanted to pay I'd consider it.

 

The neighbor took the fence down and then proceeded to not put a fence back up for 6-12 months. He's still doing renovations for his house from Katrina, so fine... whatever. I thought he was just trying to get me to put up a fence so he wouldn't have to pay for it.

 

He finally put up a fence about 1-2 months ago. Since then, there's an extension ladder leaning on my tree where he's been trimming branches that hang over the fence. Fine, whatever.

 

Well, the tree didn't bloom this spring. All other trees are alive but ours. So I start wondering if the tree is dead, and I call an arborist. The arborist shows me 1/4" drill holes around the root base of the tree and the discoloration of the bark because someone poured poison into those holes. For $85 the arborist writes up for me a report that the tree is dead and was poisoned, and provides a cost for removing the tree and a "value" for the tree since now there will be loss of shade, loss of a large tree, etc.

 

He suggests I call the police. When I do, the police tell me that unless I have pictures, video or an eyewitness that my neighbor poisoned the tree, they will just write a report that says my tree was vandalized by an unknown person. I ask the cop what he would do in my position and he says "I'd be really, really pissed off."

 

I call our insurance company; even though it's vandalism, they don't cover the tree with our insurance. They then warned us to cut the tree down because if it falls, we could be liable now.

 

When I get back home, I notice that the extension ladder is not only leaning on the tree - it's TIED TO THE TREE. He's trying to prevent the now poisoned tree from falling on his house!

 

The neighbor isn't stupid either - he's set up surveillance cameras in his backyard since the fence was put up.

 

Guys, I'm at a total loss here. Yes, I want to go and ring his doorbell, drag him on the front lawn and beat him until his face caves in and I've thought hard about it so please don't post 10,000 times that I should go and do that. I know that I should but the police apparently can arrest me for that.

 

Thank you for your time and consideration in this venting rant.

 

Unfortunate Update 3/18/2010: I lose. The tree was dropping limbs and had to be removed by me, at my out-of-pocket cost of $2300.

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The guy's a dick. I would start by throwing M-80s in his yard, out of sight from the cameras in the middle of the night. Jusy every so often. Say "you can't prove it was me".

Does he have a dog? Poison the damn dog. Yeah the dog shouldn't pay but either should your tree and he started it.

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Two suggestions (that tie together):





1. Stab him in the mouth with a large knife.


2. When he grabs his mouth to stop the bleeding, stab him in the groin.

 

I thought my solution was extreme!! :eek:

 

That's ok though cuz the guy's a frikin A-Hole!!

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Take down the ladder.

Pray for patience and calm I guess. That's pretty damn low. What's the charge going to be to have the tree removed?

 

 

Any chance of setting up a controlled burn with a huge fan that blows all the smoke into his yard for the next few weeks? lol.

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Get the tree removed and dump it on his land. He did this, make him dispose of it.

 

I think that's the best solution. He's not going to drag you to court (because he killed the tree) and you do get some level of revenge, which is important unless you're Ned Flanders.

:blah:

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The guy's a dick. I would start by throwing M-80s in his yard, out of sight from the cameras in the middle of the night. Jusy every so often. Say "you can't prove it was me".

Does he have a dog? Poison the damn dog. Yeah the dog shouldn't pay but either should your tree and he started it.

 

 

+1, 000, 000, 000

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I would say document as much information as possible. Take him to court and get your tree guy to act as a witness. He's a proffesional and his oppinion would be taken as such. Damn...good luck, man.

Plan-B, turn the volume to 11 and make him sad during the hours that it's legal to make noise.

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actually if it's oak you can sell it for fire wood , someone may even come cut it down for the wood for free , run an add .

 

Maybe not... if it's poisoned wouldn't the wood be rotten or bad? :confused:

 

Damn Phantasm, just saw your post about the price. Make that fucker pay! :mad:

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Rip the tree out and plant a fast growing tree, positioned in a place to irritate him more than the oak did. You can start by plating a few Purple Robes, they're beautiful and grow like weeds. Or, a Silk tree would work -- fast growing and really, really messy. While those are starting, plant a nice big Maple to handle things for the long haul. :thu:

 

Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like there's not much else that you can do while staying within the limits of the law.

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