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Ok that was funny - True stories from work


Renfield

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Feel free to share you own humorous stories that happen in your work day. Names/faces/places can be changed for obvious discretion.

 

This just happened, and it made me laugh, so I had to share with you all.

 

A coworker needed a new power bar for some reason, and one of our engineers was walking by at that moment and said he had a few spares in his office, he'd give one up to him.

 

(Little background... the engineer in question is originally from Egypt, and has a hilarious sense of humour, and encourages it when we make terrorist cracks his way, it happens often)

 

So he goes and gets it and brings back flight command! This power bar is massive, and has about 40 jacks for things I don't even know what they do on it. :lol:

 

He walks away and my coworker goes to connect it all up. When he hits the button to power the whole thing up, not only does his entire cubicle go black for a moment, so does the guy's next to him, including shutting off his computer. :eek:

 

The guy who turned it on starts fumbling with wires and connectors trying to see what went wrong, the other guy just reboots, not quite having identified what caused the electrical hiccup that shut his system off in the first place.

 

Guy #1 powers things up again, and everything in both goes black again in both cubes.

 

All I hear from over the wall is

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One time I drove my concrete mixer around the back of a doublewide trailer to pour a patio. The finisher ran me right over the septic tank, breaking the top of the tank and dropping huge pieces of concrete into the stew, making a big splash that covered eveyone on the back porch with the contents of the tank.

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I'm always listening to lawyers speak with writers on the type of cases they work on, and how they approach those cases. Because the details of this information often aren't that pertinent to my role, I just barely pay attention. So I often just catch snippets of conversation that taken out of context are hilarious/horrible. Some examples:

 

"Oh yeah, we love sexual assault."

"How about, you'll die in jail if you don't call me"

"I have nothing against embezzlement"

etc

etc

etc

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I'm always listening to lawyers speak with writers on the type of cases they work on, and how they approach those cases. Because the details of this information often aren't that pertinent to my role, I just barely pay attention. So I often just catch snippets of conversation that taken out of context are hilarious/horrible. Some examples:


"Oh yeah, we love sexual assault."

"How about, you'll die in jail if you don't call me"

"I have nothing against embezzlement"

etc

etc

etc

 

I have overheard conversations like that before too, but I was working in bar at the time. :badump:

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I'm always listening to lawyers speak with writers on the type of cases they work on, and how they approach those cases. Because the details of this information often aren't that pertinent to my role, I just barely pay attention. So I often just catch snippets of conversation that taken out of context are hilarious/horrible. Some examples:


"Oh yeah, we love sexual assault."

"How about, you'll die in jail if you don't call me"

"I have nothing against embezzlement"

etc

etc

etc

 

:lol:

 

I once heard a sales guy at one of my previous jobs say "Yeah, that won't be a problem for us to integrate our tool with your backend."

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One time I drove my concrete mixer around the back of a doublewide trailer to pour a patio. The finisher ran me right over the septic tank, breaking the top of the tank and dropping huge pieces of concrete into the stew, making a big splash that covered eveyone on the back porch with the contents of the tank.

 

 

Did they nickname you davypoo after that?

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I spent three years working customer service for verizon wireless through an outsource company in the US. Two and a half of those years were spent taking supervisor calls. IE you ask for a supervisor, you get me. The following are word for word statements made to customers by other "supervisors". I kept a notepad open every day and when gems like these came out I copied them into a notebook that I still have today. The notebook actually fell into the hands of the general manager one day, who promptly photocopied it and tacked it on her wall.

 

It's New every Two, not new every one and a half

 

You did give us a chance, but on your terms

 

We could have a conversation about stupidity and understanding but I have nothing to substantiate your claim

 

Your phone is basically malnourished

 

I'm not saying this is your fault, I'm telling you the reality of the situation

 

You are creating situations in your mind that I cannot compensate for

 

I don't think that changing the color of the phone will change the technical issue

 

At this point you have stopped making sense so there's nowhere we can go with this

 

I'm glad your sons 18 now he can get a job and help pay for this

 

I can't override reality based on your intentions

 

Your age doesn't make me able to waive the fee

 

Sir I'm sorry we replaced your phone with a superior model

 

I can give you $5 but I would have to charge you $40 I don't know how I can make that any more clear

 

Unfortunately I don't have the ability to go into someones head to find out why they transferred you off to me

 

You opted to do this. I understand she was pressuring you but you are an adult

 

You're frustrated because you're not listening

 

I can't just flat out give you a free phone, it doesn't work that way

 

If I can do whatever I want then I'm declining to give you a free phone

 

You can't take a big mac back to burger king

 

Did you miss the part where I said I would credit that?

 

You don't get a one time courtesy credit every month

 

I think the rep was confused as to what you were asking or confused as to what he was saying.

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NIce but I wont be here. Stop doing so much big deal about it, because that is making you to get more attention. Which is the part that you don't like..... and less is the other way.

 

 

This should be the moderator's message to posts that are over the line.

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We could have a conversation about stupidity and understanding but I have nothing to substantiate your claim


I'm not saying this is your fault, I'm telling you the reality of the situation


You are creating situations in your mind that I cannot compensate for

 

*Dies laughing* :lol:

 

I'm using one of these next time I get one of those calls.

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