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True Walmart Stories!!


Funkee1

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I have two for you today!

 

I have mentioned the crazy woman who calls us every Monday and asks what movies are coming out the next day before, haven't I? Well, in case I haven't, this person is just sane enough that she's not locked away in a looney bin. She manages a Chevron station, but is under some delusion that she's a person of authority. She will call all the Walmarts in the area to find out the price of a movie, and if we're one cent higher than another, she will throw a fit until we price match. She also only wants perfect boxes for every movie or video game she buys, which means we have to let her look at them all for 30 minutes till she decides. Worse than that, she demans total attention from the associate whether she is on the phone, or in store,meaning lots of time gets wasted on this individual. I really do not know why they don't tell her she MUST shop elsewhere.

 

Anyway, I got in a fight with her last night. She called to ask how much "Ice Age 3" was going to be. I told her we wouldn't know till Tuesday, so she says "Why don't you sell it to me tonight?" I said "We get substantial fines for violating the street dates, and the associate who does it gets fired. I am not willing to do that for you..........and you know that!" (See... we've had this conversation before)

 

She says "Come on, Mark! You never want to give me good customer service!"

 

"Good customer service doesn't mean violating rules and getting fired to make you happy"

She says "Ok. Well what about Astro Boy? Have you seen it?"

"No. I work. Besides, I think that opens the 30th!"

"I thought it opened last week! Wait...let me look it up.... I'll go to the website..."

Me (annoyed by now:" You know, maybe I'm wrong, but whatever. Do you have a question I can help you with?

 

"See? Now you're getting rude with me. Aren't you supposed to give me what I want? I'm the customer!"

I said "You have a right to good service, yes. But so do the people standing in line while I talk to you, so if there's a question you have about Walmart, I'll help you. I don't work for the movie studios, or theaters, and really don't care when Astro Boy opened. So is there something I can help you with?

 

Her: Well Astro boy opened last weekend, and you said...

"I was wrong. Now what do you want?"

Her: "I should fire you"

Me: "You can't fire me. You are NOT my boss!

Her: I can get you fired!

Me: I challenge you to do it. In fact, let me just transfer you to an assistant manager. I am done talking to you!"

 

At which point all the customers in my immediate area burst into spontaneous applause. Two people told me they'll tell the store manager how well I handled that, and the 3rd guy bought a 42 inch TV, and insisted on waiting for me just cause he overheard how I handled the nutjob (Damn! I wish I was on Commission!)

 

Second one:

 

Had a guy come in the other day who wanted to buy an iPod. making a long story short, he has two computers. He has a lot of complex midi files he plays with (gigging saxophonist, these are his backing tracks). one of the computers doesn't have iTunes, or an internet connection, so he wanted to know how to put itunes on it from a disc. I asked him why, and he said he wanted to move the music files from one computer to the other.

 

I tried to explain to him that all he has to do is burn the filkes to discs, or on a flash drive or portable drive, then plug said disc, drive or whatever into the other computer, upload to itunes, and voila!

 

You'd have thought I was speaking Klingon!:facepalm:

 

This guy had no idea you could burn that music onto a disc, thought that converting the files to MP3 was going to severely corrupt the audio quality, and let's not even get into his ideas about how putting his midi files on itunes would lead to his intellectual property getting stolen.:facepalm::facepalm:

 

After a few minutes talking to this guy, I was looking for his tin foil hat, and waiting for him to tell me about the Venutians targeting him for assassination, and how "Everybody Loves Raymond" was alien code for the invasion!

 

But I gsve him my card, and told him I play bass, and if he ever needed me for a gig, call.....cause his check was good!:lol:

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I had an aunt call quite often about her niece not being valedictorian (the girl understood it and was fine with it), but she kept calling and calling. Finally, I asked her if her bosses knew how much time she was spending on the phone talking to me instead of working for them, and I wondered out loud if they might be interested in knowing. I had documented all her calls, so I could give them dates and times....

 

She never called again.

 

Now, Mark, can you sell me that movie before Tuesday???

 

:thu:

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:idea::idea: Funkee! Start calling her gas station and asking what the price of gas is and when the next delivery truck of gas will be delivered and if that load will be higher or lower than the current price.

 

Then ask her what candy bars she has on sale and what her favorite one is.

 

Then ask her if she thinks using premium gas is worth the extra money for the extra mileage or not.

 

Then ask her about the prices of the soda drinks, and etc., so forth, and so on..... :evil:

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:idea:
:idea: Funkee! Start calling her gas station and asking what the price of gas is and when the next delivery truck of gas will be delivered and if that load will be higher or lower than the current price.


Then ask her what candy bars she has on sale and what her favorite one is.


Then ask her if she thinks using premium gas is worth the extra money for the extra mileage or not.


Then ask her about the prices of the soda drinks, and etc., so forth, and so on.....
:evil:

 

 

See, that's how you do it. :thu:

 

 

You'll have to excuse him, he's from the (ahem) West Coast.

Evidently they are nice to people there :confused:

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