Wives and Girlfriends at shows?

[BndGrl]

I saw another post somewhere where someone mentioned something about their girlfriend not wanting to come to shows.

 

So I was just curious how everyone here deals with the wives/gf's coming to shows?

 

Do you want them there? Do they want to be there? Does it ever cause any drama for you or your band?

[Nighthawkdude]

I tend to be, well, flirty at shows. It's part of my onstage persona. The show wouldn't be the same without it. Fortunately, my wife is secure enough to know that I'm coming home to her after the show. I could see that if I had a wife or girlfriend who was the jealous type, I could be in a lot of trouble.

 

Of course, there's always the adage, "what happens on the road, stays on the road".

[ZED]

The more people that come to a show the better.

[Jimi Ray Halen]

I love my wife coming to my gigs. She's never missed one. She understands that she is part of the band and has to act accordingly (not that she would get drunk and out of control anyway). She's cool about women talking to me or me smiling at them while we're playing, etc.

 

Not so with others. Our former front man had a young girlfriend who would get drunk and want to beat up any women that even looked at her boyfriend. Definitely not cool. It affected his performance. Your frontman has to play up to the girls. She caused a few problems and he chose her over us. Oh well.

 

Our new frontman's wife is totally down with him flirting. He goes out and dances with 'em, sings directly to 'em - like you should if you are trying to entertain. She knows he's going home with her at the end of the night.

[THB]

My wife enjoys coming out to see me whether I'm playing with the band or doing solo gigs, but she doesn't get the chance often. I like it when she does because it always gives me a fresh angle on some old material. She is also one of the good ones, she knows that being flirtatious is part of the gig and that I'm coming home that night.

 

[Terry Allan Hall]

Originally posted by THB My wife enjoys coming out to see me whether I'm playing with the band or doing solo gigs, but she doesn't get the chance often. I like it when she does because it always gives me a fresh angle on some old material. She is also one of the good ones, she knows that being flirtatious is part of the gig and that I'm coming home that night.

 

Sounds like my lovely wife.

[maxnew40]

My wife only goes to a few shows now and then. I think she is still pissed that she didn't get the bass player job in this band.

 

Max

[Scarlet Cris]

I love it when my boyfriend comes to shows....besides, he helps me carry gear ) but seriously, it's great to have that support.

[wheresgrant3]

My fiancee and I been together almost 5 years and although she has an occasional personal issue and wishes I had more time off she has been a great supporter, enabler and fan of my musical interests and hobbies. She comes to 90% of my gigs and through a large network of friends, weekend gigs are as much a social event for her as it is for me. She maintains a perfect balance of background in between set breaks and foreground (she'll promote the band to co-workers and friends who come out in droves and helps me load and pack my car) she has a fun personality to boot. Many people who have seen us for a few shows aren't even aware we're together except at the end of the night when she walks out the door with me. Essentially it is our hobby and I wouldn't have it any other way. We rarely fight, she gives me great input on setlist and shows and she's virtually a ghost for the three hours I'm on stage. The money I make from gigs is evenly split on new gear and occasional new outfits for her to wear out (hint: guys... you want your significant other to support your hobby? Spend a little gig money on dinner or a movie or a little shopping spree at The Limited.... you won't hear many complaints when you buy yourself a new Gibson ).

 

I have no problems with Jennie coming to a majority of shows. I usually don't see her for more than a minute until it's time to load out. Before I met Jennie I encountered groupies... groupies are usually insecure. Groupies tend to get jealous and want exclusive attention. Groupies rarely know anything about music or the instrument you play... they just appreciate the status that you bring them in their social circle. The nice thing about Jennie was that she's always loved live music... she just wasn't a groupie when I met her.

[fastplant]

My wife comes to shows once in a while. I like it that way. I feel like I have to make sure she's having a good time when she's there, and that can kill the show for me. Plus, once she's heard us, she doesn't need to hear us every time.

 

And I can tend to be flirty, as someone else mentioned. She doesn't want to see it, even though she understands why I do it.

[MrKnobs]

Originally posted by fastplant My wife comes to shows once in a while. I like it that way. I feel like I have to make sure she's having a good time when she's there, and that can kill the show for me. Plus, once she's heard us, she doesn't need to hear us every time. And I can tend to be flirty, as someone else mentioned. She doesn't want to see it, even though she understands why I do it.

 

This sums it up for me as well. Except for the flirty part, no one wants to see me flirting.

 

Terry D.

[orfalot]

I wish my wife would come to every show but the back to back gigs are too much for her. In that case she will pick the club she likes best. Several years ago when I attempted to leave the band, nobody was worried about my exit except the fact that my wife wouldn't be coming out. She loves to dance, I'm no dancer, and she is usually the first one to hit the dance floor. Nights when she is not in attendance I have to field alot of questions. I love her deeply and so do our fans and the club owners.

[Mr. Botch]

One of them's usually there at every gig, but making sure my wife and my girlfriend don't come to the same gig can be pretty nerve-wracking.

 

Seriously, our ladies come to most of our gigs, love to dance, and we enjoy it. They ignore the flirting.

[fastplant]

Originally posted by MrKnobs This sums it up for me as well. Except for the flirty part, no one wants to see me flirting. Terry D.

 

I'm not saying that people want to see me flirt either, haha.

[digwhisper]

I wish my wife could make it out more often. She's great when show goes though and is very patient with my when I spend some of my break "networking" with the crowd. I'm not super flirty so that's never been a problem.

 

She's great about staying home and watching the kids while I go out. I try to get her out five or six times a year though.

[MrKnobs]

My wife is a seasoned musician's wife.

 

I'm sure most of y'all have heard this story, but for the few who haven't......

 

We used to play this outdoor mexican restaurant a lot. There was a really pretty young Hispanic woman who worked as a waitress there and flirted with me a lot.

 

Then one evening my wife decided to come with. She kept her distance from me, and sure enough the pretty waitress came up to talk to me. Not knowing my wife was sitting right at the next table, the waitress said, "I love your playing.... it is so..... passionate!"

 

After the waitress had walked away, my wife asked, "Do you think your little friend is sufficiently infatuated with you to spring for a free dinner? Because I'm really hungry."

 

She was, and she did. I gave the enchilada plate to my wife and the waitress watched her eat it. Needless to say, she wasn't real friendly to me after that and my wife never came to another show there.

 

Terry D.

[KeysBear]

Since I started playing live again two years ago my wife has never come to a show. Sometimes we even play at a bar across the street. She dropped into a practice once about two years ago, said we sucked and never gave it another chance. OTOH, if she'd been at the club last Friday night I'd probably be dead. When I walked back in from the break the barmaids were topless and doing some contest picking up tented dollar bills off the bar with their.......

[MDLMUSIC]

My wife of 28 years rarely comes to see me play with the exception of New Year's Eve. She tells me that she knows all the punchlines to all my jokes and has seen me rehearse my "ad-libs" so often that she can say them before I do.

 

This doesn't really bother me. Besides now I don't have to worry about some drunk trying to paw her on the dance floor. this happened once long ago and my wife handled it well, but I had a hard time figuring out if I should jump off the stage and deck him or ignore it and keep playing. By the time I decided I needed to jump off the stage, my wife had already knocked the guy for a loop, sending him crashing into the bar stools. Never mess with a woman who knows how to throw a good right cross.

[vanlatte]

My wife never comes to shows.

 

My girlfriend is always there.

 

*runs out of the room screaming*

[Inazone]

My wife comes to most of our shows, and it works especially well since she runs the merch table for us. For most of our target audience, an attractive female wearing a band shirt serves as much better promotion than a bunch of sweaty guys.

[tdempsey]

nah, my wife never comes to the gigs. she's a classical music girl and would be bored.

 

and I admit, while it's a gig, and I've favored calling it "work" lately, I do like to check out the ladies without out-and-out flirting.

[one4rich]

I have no problems with my wife coming to the show...she does occasionally, but usually she's home with the kids.

 

The other guitarist in my band has his fiancee at every gig, and sits with her exclusively. When she's dancing he plays to her, and when he ventures out on the dance floor, he plays right to her. He all but ignores everyone else...I don't know if that's the way she wants it, or if he's just so introverted that he can't play if it's for anyone else. He's a great player, which makes up for it a bit.

 

I'm very extroverted onstage, so the audience doesn't feel that we are ignoring them. I'll make a lot of eye contact with dancers, and even go down on the dance floor and dance/play with the ladies. Sometimes, I'll do the Chuck Berry thing around all the tables, etc. In the old days I would get up on the bar, but I'm a bit older/wiser (and heavier!) nowadays.

[salislore]

My wife comes to about half our gigs. Usually only the bigger ones or the ones her friends are going to come to.

 

I don't mind her coming. Alot of my family members come to most shows along with at least one other band member's wife, so I never have to worry about her being alone.

 

We did have a problem with our old bass players girlfriend. He was by far the youngest member of the band at age 24. She would get really drunk every time she came to a show. The last time we played a gig with him, she got so drunk that she was actually hanging on him while we played a song on stage.

 

Later that night the manager of the club was really worried about how drunk she was and asked us 3 or 4 times if she was going to try and drive home. We assured him each time that we wouldn't let her drive home. This whole situation made us look really bad.

 

That's why I said it was the last time we played a gig with him. We got rid of him after that show. It's too bad, he was fairly reliable and was a good bass player and singer before she came along.

[Bruther_Bill72]

My wife comes sometimes...usually when she likes the place we're playing or she can get some of her friends to come out. But like others have said, she knows all of our set and gags and so on. Even I get bored by some of the songs we play.

 

She doesn't mind all the flirty stuff, either. Likewise, I have to put up with drunk dudes hitting on her. On that note, we're both pretty secure so nothing bad ever happens.

 

However, another member of the band's wife is a little on the nutty side. She can screw up the show for him even when she's not even there.

 

 

--BB

[Scheming Demon]

My wife came to most of my shows. Then I/we got a dog, now we have two. She says my getting a dog ruined her social life because now she has to stay home to watch them.

 

Now she comes to the closer gigs and occasionally we'll get someone to let the dogs out for us so she can come to other shows.

 

I certainly don't mind when she's there nor does anyone else. However at a gig I am so pre-occupied with setting up, playing and gig related activities that I really have little time to socialize with her or anyone else. She is happier when some of our other friends go too then she has someone to hang with.