How to finance your music passion with a significant other?

[cre8ivjay]

We all know having a passion for music isn't cheap. And we also know that most musicians aren't made of money.

 

I myself, share all my income with my wife as she does with me. And while we aren't poor by any stretch coming up and talking about spending a cool 2 or 3 grand here or there doesn't sit well. Actually, it simply doesn't sit because we rarely have that cash on hand.

 

Unfortunately, she has no expensive hobbies so no leverage there and we just had our first child so money is even tighter.

 

Having said all of that, I'd really like to set up a nice home studio - already in the market for a decent puter', but a nice set of monitors, a nice keyboard, decent software etc..... I've already got a few nice guitars but I'd like to upgrade my amp too.

 

I'd also like to have a little cash each month to upgrade/save up for big stuff etc... It's a lifelong expensive *addiction*.

 

I'm cool with buying on credit, she isn't so much and all we could reasonably afford is about $60 - $100/month anyway and not for a sustained period (this would drive her bonkers).

 

I'm just wondering how other musicians here with significant others in the same boat have dealt with this.

 

Or maybe, I'm the only "not rich" musician with needs.

 

Help.

 

Thanks!

 

j.

[Lee Flier]

Well, I built my studio kind of piecemeal because I didn't want to do it on credit. I bought my gear one piece at a time whenever I could afford it, putting aside a little each month and saving it. It's slow, but it's fun watching all the pieces fall into place.

 

Another thing you might do is pick up some extra gigs for pay and use the money to buy gear. Or, if gigging in your area doesn't pay well or your wife would object to you being out many nights, maybe you could pick up some type of work-at-home job to earn a little extra money for yourself while still being there for the family.

[madjack]

I have an agreement with my wife. We figured out the household budget, and how much money is needed each month to cover all expenses. Then we figured out what percentage of each of our incomes is needed to cover that. It currently works out to ~75%. So we each donate 80% of our incomes to the household budget to cover all expenses plus some extra, and the rest is our personal spending money.

As well, any gear I owned from before we were married doesn't enter into the picture, so if I really need something, I can sell off some old gear to finance new stuff.

Finally, 25% of net gigging income goes to the household. The other 75% is mine for upkeep, new purchases, etc.

It works well for us. Of course, after 36 years of playing, there's not much I need anymore except for upkeep.

[JacieFB]

I dunno...my wife and I have been scrambling like mad to get out of the red lately. We both make good money, but we still find ourselves fighting a big credit card balance every month. So, we've cut way back on the meals out. As far as musical gear goes, I have that addiction. I've just made the conscious effort to not buy anything that isn't something I really want and can really use. The funny thing is that we'll talk about this, and how much we want to get caught up, and then later, she'll turn around and ask me what I'm gonna buy next--she says if she can spend $250~400 per month on her horse, then I can surely spend that on musical equipment. Gotta find the balance.

[cre8ivjay]

I think I'm going to try that once she goes back to work (on mat leave now for another 2 months). That way there might be a little more cash to divvy up. For right now a keyboard controller, software and a decent puter would be the big things. The little things would be the cables, mics, ..piddly stuff.. you know?

 

Of course there's always something.

[cre8ivjay]

Once I get the big items (as stated above) and everythign I need to connect that rig up, I think $50-$100 month would do me quite fine for awhile. And even then it could be lowered after I got it all and only needed to upgrade.. course, by then I'd probably need to upgrade everything!

[tucktronix]

Been there, done that... and I'm sure that I'm speaking for a majority of married folks in this forum. My wife handles the budget for us, and always has issues regarding purchase of any gear. It was a real blessing that we nabbed a home improvement loan, since then we were able to spend part of that money on ourselves, myself being a new PC, audio card and music software(Reason). The mere mention of another piece of gear would be like pulling teeth to her.

 

I still need(want) a couple of things: a new keyboard amp and Tracktion 2.0(DAW software) for recording. She just might be more flexible towards the amp, since it's used for gigs;)

[JacieFB]

 

Originally posted by cre8ivjay Of course there's always something.

 

 

There is ALWAYS somthing.

 

Little mind trick I play on myself:

 

I love buying new basses and guitars. I've managed to aquire a lot of really nice players. I've got some vintage junk that I've "rescued" that I don't know what to do with exactly, but it's fun to have, anyway. But to keep me from wanting to go buy another jazz bass every 3 months (Fender basses are like candy...the really addictive kind that I just want to keep popping in my mouth like a sack full of Sprees), I concentrate on appreciating what I have. In doing so, I have this goal that is very contradictory to my gear-wants. I want to play one of my basses so much that I honestly wear through the finish like a vintage worn-in instrument. I think my #1 jazz appreciates this attention very much. I know that my bank account does!

 

(BTW, anyone know how long and how much I'm gonna have to play this instrument before I start to wear through the finish?)

[madjack]

 

Originally posted by JacieFB There is ALWAYS somthing. Little mind trick I play on myself: I love buying new basses and guitars. I've managed to aquire a lot of really nice players. I've got some vintage junk that I've "rescued" that I don't know what to do with exactly, but it's fun to have, anyway. But to keep me from wanting to go buy another jazz bass every 3 months (Fender basses are like candy...the really addictive kind that I just want to keep popping in my mouth like a sack full of Sprees), I concentrate on appreciating what I have. In doing so, I have this goal that is very contradictory to my gear-wants. I want to play one of my basses so much that I honestly wear through the finish like a vintage worn-in instrument. I think my #1 jazz appreciates this attention very much. I know that my bank account does! (BTW, anyone know how long and how much I'm gonna have to play this instrument before I start to wear through the finish?)

 

 

Don't know about a jazz bass, but it took me about 15 years of regular gigging to do it with my '72 ES335.

[JacieFB]

Originally posted by madjack Don't know about a jazz bass, but it took me about 15 years of regular gigging to do it with my '72 ES335.

 

Awesome! Only 13 years left on this one!

[Outrider]

I have a fund set aside (in cash) that is fed by gig money and any money I make doing design work on the side. This money is completely separate from the family budget, and goes to fund my two hobbies...music and motorcycles. It took a while to justify the legitimacy and fairness of this fund, and a couple of uncomfortable "discussions" about it, but I stuck to my guns and now it's established. It's not hidden or secret...it's just earmarked and kept in a separate place.

 

Gotta be smart about it, though...

 

Another idea:

It helps to keep an ongoing outflow of old gear and household junk, either selling locally or on Ebay. Crow about the good auctions so that she knows about them. Try not to buy something till you can pay for most of it with stuff you've sold. Keep the cash in your paypal account for future purchases because that stays pretty much off the record.

 

 

Yet another idea (not exactly dishonest but shady):

My guitarist has items delivered to him at work instad of home (low profile!) His wife doesn't notice physically small items that turn up, like effects pedals. They all look the same to her.

 

Similarly, I read a post once form a guy who said his wife never noticed new guitars lying around, as long as they were all the same color as his old guitars. I think he just kept the habit of always buying black guitars.

 

The bass player in my band simply sticks by his credo that he "doesn't ask his wife for permission." I dunno how he gets awa with that, but it must have been established early on in their marraige. He has a pretty big income, though...maybe money's not so much of an issue.

 

 

 

The games people play...

[Brian Krashpad]

What I've done is make this informal deal with the missus:

 

She's not a musician and could never find the deals I can. So when I find a really good deal (latest: virtually mint LP Classic w/OHSC: $750!) I can buy it. But I can't rob our savings to do it, if I have some mad money put away that covers it, fine, otherwise I hafta finance the purchase by selling something.

 

Here's the pitch that makes it worthwhile to HER: anything I buy is considered a gift from her. Thus, she NEVER AGAIN will have to buy me any presents for birthdays, Christmas, etc.

 

And I will get presents I really love at a great price.

 

BK

[GCDEF]

Originally posted by cre8ivjay I myself, share all my income with my wife as she does with me. j.

 

That's your problem. My wife doesn't work, but we set aside a portion of my paycheck each for "no questions asked" money. That way each of us has a certain budget that we can blow without comment or discussion with the other.

 

When she did work, we contriubuted proportionally to the household budget, and kept the leftovers as mine and hers seperately.

 

That and I give her half my gig money too.

[Outrider]

Originally posted by Brian Krashpad Here's the pitch that makes it worthwhile to HER: anything I buy is considered a gift from her. Thus, she NEVER AGAIN will have to buy me any presents for birthdays, Christmas, etc.

 

Now THAT is an exzcellent arrangement!

 

(...and it's kinda what happened at my house on my birthday this year. She forgot to get me a birthday present and gave me some cash which was immediately applied to an Agile 2800 3TS. )

 

I'm gonna keep this idea on the shelf in case all of my other schemes start to crumble.

[Terry Allan Hall]

Originally posted by Lee Flier Well, I built my studio kind of piecemeal because I didn't want to do it on credit. I bought my gear one piece at a time whenever I could afford it, putting aside a little each month and saving it. It's slow, but it's fun watching all the pieces fall into place. Exactly how I did it...I put aside a little every time I made some $$$, gave up a few things (haven't drunk a beer in a few years, for but one example), and watched for bargains on the stuff I really wanted! Another thing you might do is pick up some extra gigs for pay and use the money to buy gear. Or, if gigging in your area doesn't pay well or your wife would object to you being out many nights, maybe you could pick up some type of work-at-home job to earn a little extra money for yourself while still being there for the family. Might also consider giving lessons!

 

Obviously, it's easier when your wife/husband/"significant other" is enthusiastic about you being a musician!

 

A few years ago, one of my 12-strings was severely damaged by a drunk at a party...when I went looking for a replacement, I considered a "cheapie" (I think it was a Takamine) just to get by until my Guild was repaired. Georgia listened to me play several and pointed out that the Taylor sounded the best...when I pointed out the difference in prices, she just said, "You'll make up the difference in a couple of gigs, so let's just go pay for it and be done with it!"

 

Damn, I love that woman!

[Bones]

I hava a buddy who hides his new acquisitions for a few months. When his wife finally notices the new item he says "Nope, not new. Had that a while."

 

Groveling preceeds most new acquisitions in my household. She keeps very close tabs on gig income vs. equipment outlays.

[cre8ivjay]

Yeah, I'm in a pretty tough music supplies situation.

 

Wife is on mat leave so reduced income there.

 

I don't really gig anymore since the band broke up (this will change but not soon I don't think). Regardless, no gig money there.

 

Basically, a real minimal dispoable income type of thing.

 

It may simply have to be a REAL slow build up of gear (I'll have 7% of it by the time I'm 60.

 

 

I guess the frustrating thing is that I'd REALLY LOVE to get going in the world of at home recording so decent software, hardware for that as well as a decent keybopard/controller would be nice. I think after that I could get by with minimal increases (for awhile) but I just don't know how to get past this crunch.

 

ugh.

[wheresgrant3]

I share an apartment with my fiancee. Luckily she is supportive of my hobby and my gig schedule. However since my hobby is a time and financial drain on our relationship so I make sure that she benefits from my hobby as well.

 

For instance... I gig 50-60 nights a year averaging $130 per show. After travel and band expenses (plus an occasional free gig) I figure I average $100 per show. That give me between $5000-$6000 in side income. Since I find it impossible to save... what I do buy I buy in installment payments. AMS is great for this. I can split up a $1000 purchase into 5 interest free $200 payments. Regardless if I bring home $1000 one month or $400 the next I never have to reach into my own wallet to buy my gear. The rent is always paid, food is always in the fridge.... etc.

 

Where she benefits... Of course I'd like to spend all of that cash on me, however it wouldn't really make her very happy. So I make sure that I spend a little green on her. If I'm headed to my local music store to buy some pick or new cables I make sure to also stop buy her favorite department store and buy her a new outfit. Last month I spent $150 for dinner for two at her favorite resturant and last summer I bought her a day at a local spa while I had to travel out of town for a gig. In all... I figure she gets 1/5 of the gig money I take home, but it is worth it for her continued support.

[cre8ivjay]

50 gigs a year? Just had a baby so no 50 gigs a year for me.

 

Actually, no gigs at this point, so gig money isn't an option.

 

[MrKnobs]

I use a combination of honest and dishonest.

 

First let me say I was a musician and studio owner when my wife met me, as many of you know from reading the groupies story. You'd think she'd expect me to continue to buy gear, right? I work two jobs and she works one, so I should be able to spend a little money on equipment, right? We don't have kids, we both have good paying jobs, we can afford some "toys," right?

 

Married folk know it isn't that simple.

 

So here's what works for us:

 

Like the poster above, I have a separate fund that gig, recording, and gear sales money goes into. It used to be a secret but I decided to lay it out on the table. To make it a little more acceptable, I established a fund for her too.

 

There are all sorts of sources for money besides our day job paychecks which go directly into the bank. For instance, there is reimbursement for health care expenses, income tax refunds (which I control carefully to make sure it's always a goodly sum), Discover card cash back, etc. When a chunk of money comes in from one of these sources, I split it in half, put half in my fund and give the other half to her. I tell her, "This is fun money. Buy anything and everything with it you'd feel guilty using our checking account for. You don't need my permission no matter how much it is, if the money comes from here."

 

Now here's the dishonest part, and I'll tell you straight up if she's doing the same thing I don't care. In fact, if she is, I wish she'd just tell me so we could have a good laugh and uncomplicate our lives.

 

When I buy some new gear, I might trade something in, or I might pay half with some gig cash and the other half on our Discover card. She sees the statement, and the expenditures always seem reasonable.

 

Every once in a while I screw up. The other day, she asked me how our new album was going and I told her I was trying to get John Popper to play on a cut and was thinking of offering him $500 to do it.

 

She was like, "What? That's a lot of money!" So I'm like, "Honey, do you know who John Popper is? He's like the Yngvie Malmsteen of harmonica, except with better taste!"

 

That was lost on her, I don't think she knows who Yngvie is either. She said, "Still seems like a lot of money." Then I really screwed up. I said, "Well it costs to get famous musicians to play on your tracks? How much do you think I paid that horn section?"

 

She said, "How much DID you pay the horn section?"

 

Oh crap.

 

I said, "Who cares? I kept the entire album budget right at $2500, do you realize how cheap that is to do an album?"

 

Unfortunately this is the woman who used to manage my commercial studio. She replied, "Does that $2500 include wholesale studio time? Does it include any advances you paid Julie? What about all our alcohol those guys drank while they were over here? Did you expense that? I'll bet you're just quoting the talent cost, right?"

 

Damn.

 

Terry D.

[AndyC]

Terry - that's the bad part about having a wife who knows the biz!!

 

My arrangement with my wife is that we pool our salaries into a house checking account, and then we each draw a weekly allowance. Mine almost all goes into gear. Plus I have stuff I sell on eBay, and have a separate Paypal account, and a music credit card (which I don't use much since I've been through that "running up the credit line" thing more than once and it's a drag and a stupid waste of money (paying Citibank $ 200/month interest instead of putting that toward gear is a bad idea)..

[slugball]

I troll ebay for low "buy it now" prices -- then I put them back on ebay with cost-recovery minimum prices and wait. I've made about $3K this way -- and I don't feel guilty about spending. My wife is supportive anyway - but it feels like free money this way. Not the most efficient approach though...

[sideswipedv]

 

Originally posted by JacieFB I dunno...my wife and I have been scrambling like mad to get out of the red lately. We both make good money, but we still find ourselves fighting a big credit card balance every month. So, we've cut way back on the meals out. As far as musical gear goes, I have that addiction. I've just made the conscious effort to not buy anything that isn't something I really want and can really use. The funny thing is that we'll talk about this, and how much we want to get caught up, and then later, she'll turn around and ask me what I'm gonna buy next--she says if she can spend $250~400 per month on her horse, then I can surely spend that on musical equipment. Gotta find the balance.

 

 

 

MY GOD !!! I think we are married to the same woman!!!

[Gus Lozada]

How to finance your music passion with a significant other?

 

Marry the richest of your groupies

[JacieFB]

Originally posted by sideswipedv MY GOD !!! I think we are married to the same woman!!!

 

If your wife went to Quarter Horse Congress this morning with her friend, then you and I need to have a sit down. I'm sure we both have questions that need answerin'...

 

 

 

 

*ponders*

(How can I get a fretless Jazz AND a Sterling out of this?)