So my bass player and drummer played a gig with another guitar player and singer

[GCDEF]

I went and watched some of it. It was fun to be able to watch them as an audience member instead of a band member and really check out what they're doing.

 

They were very good.

[BndGrl]

That's very cool of you to be supportive!!

[Jimi Ray Halen]

Yeah, there seems to be two reactions to this situation. Some people (like me) don't care how many other bands a fellow bandmate plays in as long as it doesn't cause any schedule conflicts. And there are backups available just in case.

 

and

 

Some folks want total dedication to their band and their band alone. Period. Don't even think about it. I can understand this but a lot depends on what kind of band you have, how many gigs you do per month, etc.

[GCDEF]

I don't care. It wasn't a gig I wanted, and not people they usually play with. Just another guitar player who had a charity thing and wanted a rhythm section to back them up.

 

They're both very good musicians so it was enjoyable to just be able to stand back and watch them.

[tmd187]

Now I respect you for being open to your band playing w/o you. I am that guy though who wants 100% dedication to the band. Because we aren't signed yet, don't have a label, and are working hard to get one. So when one of my members goes out and does say an acoustic show, or jams with another group. I get really jealous, is this wrong of me. I have been trying to accept it, but it hurts. Because I invest all my time/money/ and thoughts into this band I am in, because I want US to succeed as one. And when that happens, I almost feel betrayed. I guess I just have the wrong view, or the right view. Eric Clapton left the Yardbirds, because of this type of thing, he felt they were to hung up on commercial music, and weren't giving him the time and energy that he was putting into the band. And look 50 years later, who got the best out of that deal? I don't know, it's a feeling I get, not a commanded thought.

[GCDEF]

 

Originally posted by tmd187 Now I respect you for being open to your band playing w/o you. I am that guy though who wants 100% dedication to the band. Because we aren't signed yet, don't have a label, and are working hard to get one. So when one of my members goes out and does say an acoustic show, or jams with another group. I get really jealous, is this wrong of me. I have been trying to accept it, but it hurts. Because I invest all my time/money/ and thoughts into this band I am in, because I want US to succeed as one. And when that happens, I almost feel betrayed. I guess I just have the wrong view, or the right view. Eric Clapton left the Yardbirds, because of this type of thing, he felt they were to hung up on commercial music, and weren't giving him the time and energy that he was putting into the band. And look 50 years later, who got the best out of that deal? I don't know, it's a feeling I get, not a commanded thought.

 

 

It wasn't like "my band" said we're doing a gig without you. It was the drummer and bass player helping out another guitar player for a one time gig. They're both full time musicians and regularly play with other people. Our band is the main priority and if they have to cancel other gigs for our band they will.

 

Given that they make their living playing music, I'm not about to get hissy with them if they take other gigs. Also, our main band is doing well enough that I'm not worried about them being unhappy with it and trying to start something else up. Unless their extra-curricular gigs start interfering with our main band, I have no problem with them playing elsewhere.

 

Being in a band is a little like being in a relationship. You have to have trust and confidence. If you get all jealous and controlling you're just going to drive everybody nuts, most of all yourself.

[Jimi Ray Halen]

Originally posted by tmd187 Now I respect you for being open to your band playing w/o you. I am that guy though who wants 100% dedication to the band. Because we aren't signed yet, don't have a label, and are working hard to get one. So when one of my members goes out and does say an acoustic show, or jams with another group. I get really jealous, is this wrong of me. I have been trying to accept it, but it hurts. Because I invest all my time/money/ and thoughts into this band I am in, because I want US to succeed as one. And when that happens, I almost feel betrayed. I guess I just have the wrong view, or the right view. Eric Clapton left the Yardbirds, because of this type of thing, he felt they were to hung up on commercial music, and weren't giving him the time and energy that he was putting into the band. And look 50 years later, who got the best out of that deal? I don't know, it's a feeling I get, not a commanded thought.

 

No, like I said it all depends on your situation. If you have a young, up and coming band trying to get signed that's a hell of a lot different than a p/t cover band. But some guys don't even like it then either. They feel like the bassist (or whoever) is stepping out on them or something.

 

It is dog eat dog in bandland. I have seen people recruited right out of bands. So I understand it. But if they're going to leave, they're going to leave.

[Scafeets]

I play in two gigging bands and have a jazz project on the side. The guys all know each other and we're all very supportive. This past Sat. night, we actually had my other band come up and do a 45 minute set on our gear between our first two sets, with the goal of getting them a gig at the same place.

 

Of course, that meant the guys in band #1 got a 45 minute break, excpt for me. I played non stop from 9:30 to 12:30. The owner loved it because there was no break. The guys from the two bands got to hear each other and bonded.

 

Then, the sax player from my jazz project sat in the rest of the night with Band #1. This is music, not romance. I feel we can all be "dedicated" without "going steady."

[Monster Joe]

I used to be in two bands, currently in just one but I'm looking to form a second one with the ex-singer of the other band. Still with me?

If you schedule right, it's never a problem. You just have to be upfront about it. If a band has a gig, that date is unavailable for the other band, simple as that.

It helps if more than one band member shares the bands though.

 

Our bassplayer is off doing gigs with others all the time as a back-up/stand-in/stunt double, but he places priority on the main band.

[GCDEF]

 

Originally posted by Monster Joe If a band has a gig, that date is unavailable for the other band, simple as that.

 

 

If that happened more than once or twice in my band, you'd be out.

[Monster Joe]

If you are willing to accept a band member having other bands, you have to accept he may not be available.

Same if he has a job with irregular hours, nightshifts or any other reason why he may be unable to play a gig.

 

If you know in advance, there's no point crying about it when push comes to shove.

Bandmembers who can't make gigs because they have some undisclosed "previous obligations", that's a problem!

 

Our bassplayer didn't go to his girlfriend's birthday party because we had a gig. She could have planned it another time though, since the gig had been booked before she organised the party...

Not that it would have made any difference to him, he'd have been at the gig regardless.

[GCDEF]

 

Originally posted by Monster Joe If you are willing to accept a band member having other bands, you have to accept he may not be available. Same if he has a job with irregular hours, nightshifts or any other reason why he may be unable to play a gig. If you know in advance, there's no point crying about it when push comes to shove. Bandmembers who can't make gigs because they have some undisclosed "previous obligations", that's a problem! Our bassplayer didn't go to his girlfriend's birthday party because we had a gig. She could have planned it another time though, since the gig had been booked before she organised the party... Not that it would have made any difference to him, he'd have been at the gig regardless.

 

 

I don't mind other projects either, but I only want to play with people where this band is their priority. Getting gigs is a pain. I hate busting my butt to get us booked only to be told somebody has a gig that night. Then I have to call the club back try maybe successfully to reschedule. Of course there will be times when somebody's not available, but when it happens too often, it's more trouble than its worth.

[Monster Joe]

I can understand your point of view, but, like I said, we never had a problem.

I was in two bands for 5 years and we had maybe one occasion where this happened. What happened more was that both bands shared the same bill, actually. Which was murder for the drummer, who was also in both and quit the same band a few months after me.

 

When I start up the second band now, the other guitarplayer in my current band will be in that one as well.

It's all a matter of working things out.

 

So far we've never had problems (our bassplayer has a second band as well) Should a date be unavailable we'll probably be able to get the venue to give us another shot. We're a pretty good live band, if I say so myself, and there aren't many other bands in Belgium that do our Thin Lizzy meets Ted Nugent kind of hardrock so there's very little competition.

 

Now if a major gig would show up, like opening for an international touring act or playing an important festival or something like that, we might reconsider our policy and go for the most important gig.

[MrKnobs]

Whether we're talking bands or relationships, you're always going to be competing with other people and situations. That's just how it is, and it never stops. Not when a ring goes on a finger, not when you snap a band photograph or release an album.

 

That's life. Keep yourself and your projects fun and interesting, keep things moving, and keep networking so that anyone who leaves doesn't grind the whole machine to a halt, at least not for very long.

 

Also applies to both bands and relationships.

 

Terry D.

[wvukilroy]

I've never had any problem with side projects/jamming with other bands. If you're so controlling that you won't let any of the other members interact with other musicians, then you won't be able to stay together. Music in itself is about freedom, and many musicians (and true artists) are free spirits. So long as your bandmates understand yours to be the primary band that takes top priority, I don't see any problem.

 

It also depends on how much you gig and whether emergencies come up. One band we played with was so intent on getting their name out that they would play any show so long as two of the members were available. At the show we did together, they had a stand-in singer and bassist. They knew they were still a team regardless, and they couldn't afford to pass on their usual three gigs a week.

[THB]

I don't mind the guys in my band playing pick-up gigs at all, but the first priority does have to be my band. We do a lot of original music, so I can't call up a replacement for them if they're not available for any reason. I do my best to keep us busy enough that it's not a problem.

 

[one4rich]

I don't think you should look at it as "cheating on you" if you play with other people. I do think you should be straight up about it, though.

 

Rumors get started and feeling can get hurt, usually because someone thinks they're being replaced, but the person doesn't have the balls to tell them.

 

I remember being pissed about a situation like that once...the singer and other guitarist secretly started up with a different bass player and drummer. Of course, the bass player and drummer got wind of it and thought they were being replaced. I thought they were planning leaving the band, myself. It turned out that they did leave the band to spend more time with the other one.

 

We were pissed, mainly because it was done so underhanded, and it did cost us the band.

 

I played in two bands for a while, but I was straight up with my main band, and promised not to have a conflict. The second band knew I was in a band when I joined up, and was happy to have me whenever I was available. It worked out fine, but the second band has recently stopped playing together due to loss of rehearsal space, so I'm back to one, for all intents and purposes.

[caveman]

Every once and a while I sub for somebody but I'm way loyal to my crew.

[guitarmook]

Musicians should all be encouraged to stretch and grow. My singer has another band, my bass player will play with anyone that will have him - he's played with 5 different bands in one weekend before. No, he's never missed a show.

 

Since this band has been playing (almost 2 years) I have played with 4 other projects at various times. Only one of those currently shows any promise of being anything regular, but I'm looking for more. It's good to PLAY, and it's good to play in different situations, with different bands, doing different music it makes anyone a better player. No bandmates should begrudge that, unless it's at their expense.

[Tele Vision]

Agreed.

 

I play bass in the "big band" ( www.extravabandza.com ), but play guitar in two other bands ( one blues, one bluegrass ).

 

As long as everyone knows what you're doing with everyone else, all is good.

[Blackwatch]

I've always been suportive of my bandmates playing out as long as it didn't interfere with the scheduling of gigs. But I had to fire my last drummer as he found a giging situation he liked after he'd comitted to 3 gigs with me. He showed up for those 3 gigs an hour late, losing me 1 club and straining my relatinship with the 2 others. I felt like he owed me a certain amount of loyalty after getting him work weekly for the last year, but he didn't seem to think so. So I fired his ass. It killed me because he was a very good drummer, (Although he lacked stage presence ) It;s taken me about 3 months to replace him, and now it's going to take another 3 months until we're back up and running where we were before.

Playing out is one thing but don't mess up th main gig............