Members RoadRanger Posted April 23, 2015 Members Share Posted April 23, 2015 Oy Veh, no matter how many rotters you off they just keep comin' : Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Dendy Jarrett Posted April 23, 2015 Members Share Posted April 23, 2015 RoadRanger: This thread shouldn't be closed. This is an age old question and as much relevant today as it was in 2006. And doesn't just apply to girlfriends. Same goes for wives! D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil O'Keefe Posted April 23, 2015 Share Posted April 23, 2015 He does have a good point about notifications and subscriptions though. That really does need to be addressed / fixed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members StratGuy22 Posted April 24, 2015 Members Share Posted April 24, 2015 No woman, no cry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RoadRanger Posted April 26, 2015 Members Share Posted April 26, 2015 RoadRanger: This thread shouldn't be closed. This is an age old question and as much relevant today as it was in 2006. And doesn't just apply to girlfriends. Same goes for wives! D True - but answering the specific 9 year old question makes one (and this forum) look kinda stoopid, no? Other forums at the very least warn you that you are about to reply to a question over x months old and suggest you might want to start a new thread instead . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Iamthesky Posted April 27, 2015 Members Share Posted April 27, 2015 I don't think it makes the forum stupid -- it merely shows that the forum has threads that are of interest and relevance to new arrivals despite being nine years old. The necroposter, on the other hand... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Dendy Jarrett Posted April 29, 2015 Members Share Posted April 29, 2015 IDK:I still say this is a very relevant thread and the balance between band and significant others will be a forever challenge. Once we become "family" people, it becomes even more of a challenge I believe. There are many times I choose family over a gig, but it doesn't mean that it isn't a challenge. And I don't think that means someone has a problem with their priorities, rather it means that there is a WHOLE LOT of passion for playing music. I try to play a music showcases that are family friendly so that they can come along and I also play at church each week. And still this problem will be on-going. D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Opus Antics Posted April 29, 2015 Members Share Posted April 29, 2015 It's a relevant concept. It's just trying to give advice to someone who hasn't been around in years is kinda silly. I know I got suckered into posting and then felt kinda dumb. The topic, though, sure is pertinent. We should start a thread called "Balancing Band and Family/Significant Others" That would be a good discussion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Dendy Jarrett Posted April 29, 2015 Members Share Posted April 29, 2015 and you did: http://www.harmonycentral.com/forum/forum/LivePerformanceCategory/acapella-54/31479496-balancing-band-and-family-significant-others Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SBF3000 Posted April 29, 2015 Members Share Posted April 29, 2015 No woman, no cry. these lyrics you quote, i do not think they mean what you think they mean. Unless you are comforting a woman of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Vito Corleone Posted April 30, 2015 Members Share Posted April 30, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members flemtone Posted May 11, 2015 Members Share Posted May 11, 2015 Hi, wife of a guy in a band here, and first time poster. No offense taken by the comments here, and even though this is an old thread I'd like to give my advice from the girlfriend's point of view. When I met my Mr. Right Now, or as I call him to his face, Mr. Entertainment, he wasn't actively playing in a band, he was tour managing, so he was on the road. We started talking online, met when the tour came to the states and within a few weeks I visited him where he lived. Eventually I moved to Spain where he was based and we've been married 9 years, in that time he's quit tour managing and has focused on making a living playing music locally. I knew that music is his passion and his livelihood and that is part of the attraction, if it's not and you have a girlfriend who says it's the band versus me, you have the wrong girl! 19 is young and you surely have split up with her by now and hopefully you have a partner who enjoys the fact that she has a man who provides his own soundtrack to everything you do. Mr. Entertainment even plays a small acoustic in the car while I'm driving! As the wife/girlfriend you must be secure (women are going to try to come between you and him) Miss big boobs over there would already have a man if she were as interesting as you are, so get over the jealousy. Your musician is with you not her and if you give him a hard time every time a woman approaches him, he's going to think you don't trust him because you obviously don't trust him! If he's given you a reason not to trust him, what the heck are you doing with him? Know that during breaks in a gig, he needs space to talk with the band. Remember that you are not Yoko Ono (am I dating myself here?) your opinion matters to him but not the rest of the band, the only answer to how do we sound is "great!", you can tell him later, privately, that the bass player hit a bum note in the 3rd song in the second set. If they rehearse at your house, don't be in the same room (this is for your sanity as well as for theirs), put on some headphones and go play bingo online or read a book, put in your earplugs (more on that later) and take a nap in your room. Always always always buy your own drinks at a gig, you are not part of the band, don't expect to be included on the backstage rider or the band's bar tab! Invest in some good earplugs because you will be seated next to the PA at most gigs because nobody else will sit there. Know that bands will come and go but then so do girlfriends and wives of band members and while the new one might be hard to accept at first, show them kindness, you were the new girl too at some point. Offer to drive! Mr. Entertainment and I take turns, he pays for my drinks (non alcoholic) and food in return for me being DD/roadie/band photographer, but the money is put in my hands to give to the bar staff, the bar owners will appreciate the fact that the wives/girfriends and friends of the band aren't taking advantage of them, and it will be taken into consideration when they are asked back to play again. When he's away on tour be self sufficient, have your own job, friends, car. Cultivate your own interests, paint, sew, take classes, you're together because you are interesting too! Most of all, enjoy being together now because nothing is forever, bands grow apart and so do relationships, learn from the experience, have fun, dance with the punters (because if you are with a guy in a band, he can't dance with you while playing!) My grandmother (my grandfather was a sax player in a 1930's dance band) told me that was her big regret, that she didn't get to dance, so I do! Lastly, you can love a plumber, a doctor, a drummer (heaven help you!) a butcher, a baker or a candlestick maker, what matters is do you love, trust and respect each other, if either of you is missing one of those then it won't last, go find yourself a nice fella who will do that for you, they are out there, and then love them back, with all your might. I must say, though - if a thread gets necro'd, it can't be for a better post than this. Spot on, Dee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AJ6stringsting Posted November 8, 2015 Members Share Posted November 8, 2015 As suggested get a date book put those birthdays', anniversaries, promises, dates and gigs noted .... don't let your Girl or the band down. If she ever gives you an ultimatum of , "it's me or the band", think twice. I had a gal give me that ultimatum ( loved her though), I quit the band and months later she broke my heart .... that's cool, because I moved to L.A., got in the scene, traveled and got more A$$ than a toilet seat at a laxative convention ( that's another story) You can have a balanced life, but don't depend or count on those that force ultimatums on you or your happiness !!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members StratGuy22 Posted November 9, 2015 Members Share Posted November 9, 2015 Always include face time with the broad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sventvkg Posted November 9, 2015 Members Share Posted November 9, 2015 i know this is the age-old problem for musicians. Its like you can't have both, and balancing them is EXTREMELY difficult. Does anyone here play full time in a band and have a girlfriend or have a job/school and a band and a girlfriend? How do you go about making sure that they know the band comes first? I'm only 19, and i want to take what i'm doing as far as it can go, but i am also very much in love with my girlfriend, and it is becoming difficult. Last night i booked a show on a day that i forgot i said i would do family stuff. That didn't go over too well... I'm usually too blunt and I make people cry so I'm going to try to be sensitive here. Stop being a SIMP and do what makes you happy! DO NOT EVER GIVE IN TO THE {censored} tests of a woman. She will lose respect for you and start FUGGING your singer...Set your boundries. Woman vs. Band? The answer is obvious. Be a man and do what makes you happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AJ6stringsting Posted November 13, 2015 Members Share Posted November 13, 2015 There's always other fish in the sea, if she doesn't understand your love of music. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.