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I'd like to post this AIM conversation I just had with my bass player.


AunShui

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Posted

Names and Locations have been edited for protection, though I trust most of you by now.

 

Me: got an email from mike today

you know, fire escape. heres the basic outline

making sure you are set to play etc

but what really to me was this:

"We will have had 16 bands play for us with a waiting list of over 10 bands"

10 bands

10 completley deserving bands, all of them probably better than a quasi-rock instrumental trio who actually practice and deserve a shot at the money

now, i see two options

i can send him an email back saying "yes mike we'll gladly play our {censored}ty music for you again"

or we can send him an email saying "we know we were terrible, we're going back to step one, and we want to give one of these bands a chance to shine"

now, we havent gigged for well over a month, and practiced less

whats your input

 

Him:i say do it

 

Me: on what grounds

 

Him: were already signed up for it

 

we can pull something together

 

Me: what's today, the 8th

this weekend- no you

 

Him: {censored} the calendar man

 

Me:: 25-26

no me

2 weekends and no after school practices

 

Him: ur always so worried about every little detail

quite freakin out

 

Me: this is the difference between putting on a show and putting on a jam

a jam is "hey lets get together and play for a bit"

a show IS every detail, playing songs 3 million times until you want to throw up then playing them some more

 

Him: bull{censored}

 

Me: the other bands we saw that night, or that you saw ever

rush for instance

when they were in their infancy, playing local clubs not unlike we're trying to do

played every single day as a group, over and over, honing chops, this that and the other thing

the who, the beatles, everyone

now, im not saying that we have to do good

and im not saying that we cant try to do good

but if we cant even make an attempt to collect the little bits of {censored} on the floor and turn them into gold, its a waste of everyones time

 

Him: you have to look realistically at this

realize this band isnt going anywhere

we cant practice all the time

we cant pull together a perfect show

and if were playing so much that were sick of it, then whats the point of playing?

 

Me: im not saying this is going anywhere, im saying our job as performing musicians is to put on the best show possible. its a waste of everyones time not to. the satisfaction comes with the dancing people, the cheering crowds, and if you're lucky, a little bit of money in your pocket

 

Him: au contrare, i get more satisfaction if we're just playing for the love of the music. If they dance, good for them, money in the pocket, hoorah. but id rather get up stage and have a good time playing than caring about how well the crowd recieves us

 

Me: then whats the point of playing on stage, rather than playing in a garage or basement where you can enjoy the music at your leisure and not have to worry about deadlines, practices, and such?

 

Him: cuz i do want to share our music with the people. i just dont care how much they like. The problem with our last show was that we were too worried about how the show was gunna go and how people were gunna like it. It wasnt about the music

 

Me: it is and can be about the music while being rehersed and practiced. about the music doesnt mean rough and sloppy. if you really cared about the music you would want to put it out there as good as it can be, meaning practiced, tight, and smooth. youre insulting the band, audience, and the music by doing it any other way

 

Him: im not saying we should play it sloppy. Im saying we should just play, and well do fine

ironically, we were much sloppier when we practiced like {censored} for the last show than when we just jam

 

Me: thats partly stage fright, which completley doesnt factor in in a jam session. and playing through the set list once for half a day hardly constitutes practice

assuming it will go fine does not make it fine. if concert band was handed music (or a recording) and sent out on stage, they would fail. even if they had a month to learn it on their own it would not be a successful concert

 

Input please...

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Posted

I didn't read all of that, I guess I didn't have to.

 

He doesn't sound like he shares your passion. Sounds like you need a new bassist. Get a bassist instead of a bass player, if you can find one. Seems like subtle semantics, but trust me, once you find one, you'll know what I'm talking about.

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Posted

Dude, from reading your (various) posts you sound like you're miserable in your band.

 

You also sound like you're frustrated and like you're pretty passionate about music. And you don't sound like you're having fun.

 

If I'm right about the above, then quit your band, follow your heart, and find some people who actually give a {censored}.

 

In 10-20 years you will realize this life thing is DAMN short and if you're serious about something then you can't screw around. :eek:

 

My perspective, anyhow... :freak:

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Posted

 

Originally posted by Erwin

I say listen to your bassplayer and start having fun without all the worries.

 

 

+1

 

Athough, a middle ground should be found...

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Posted

 

Originally posted by Erwin

I say listen to your bassplayer and start having fun without all the worries.

 

 

I was thinking along these lines as well.

 

That's not to say I excuse bad stage behavior.

 

Of course, of course, of course, you need to practice very often in the safety and quiet of the garage. You simply need to know the material you want to present.

 

That said, the time you spend on stage is a different beast. Being on stage messes with your head and your sense of time. When the adrenalin gets pumping, you feel every millisecond tick by and all the sounds coming from your band are amplified in your head, especially the errors.

 

The only way I know of to get used to that feeling, and to control it, is to gig. The adrenalin is a big part of why you play out, but you'll never learn to focus and control that until you leave the practice room and put it all on the line.

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Posted

Originally posted by Actionsquid

Dude, from reading your (various) posts you sound like you're miserable in your band.


You also sound like you're frustrated and like you're pretty passionate about music. And you don't sound like you're having fun.


If I'm right about the above, then quit your band, follow your heart, and find some people who actually give a {censored}.


In 10-20 years you will realize this life thing is DAMN short and if you're serious about something then you can't screw around.
:eek:

My perspective, anyhow...
:freak:

 

The above should be printed and pasted to the bathroom mirror and the refrigerator of every musician in the country. Too bad most of us wait until we're 40 or 50 to come to this realization.

 

Undeniable Fact of Life # 1: You can't change anyone, and trying to do so will only lead to frustration, resentment, broken relationships and wasted time. You must either accept other people as they are or find others more suited to your goals and personality.

 

Undeniable fact of life # 2: You usually know whether something is going to work out after 3 months. Arguments with other peole are usually the result of first arguing with your own intuition, when you know in your gut that cutting your losse and moving on would likely be in everyone's best interest. Remember, trying to force something to work is not only wasting your time, it's wwasting everyone else's, too.

 

Just my $.02

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Posted

Just a sidenote: I don't know much about The Who's early years. I know they gigged a lot, working on their stage presence. The Beatles, may or may not have practised a lot in their early years. There are photos of John Lennon at 15 performing in a skiffle band.

 

Certainly, with Pete Best, they really honed their harmonies, their personalities, their musical intuition during the day-after-day, hour-after-hour gigging they did while in Hamburg. Much of what they would bring to the studio was crafted while on stage.

 

Also, both the Beatles and Rush practiced real hard, got real good and still kicked out or replaced band members before hitting it big.

 

I can't believe I used Rush and The Beatles in a single sentence...

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Posted

 

Originally posted by zookie

Just a sidenote: I don't know much about The Who's early years. I know they gigged a lot, working on their stage presence. The Beatles, may or may not have practised a lot in their early years. There are photos of John Lennon at 15 performing in a skiffle band.


Certainly, with Pete Best, they really honed their harmonies, their personalities, their musical intuition during the day-after-day, hour-after-hour gigging they did while in Hamburg. Much of what they would bring to the studio was crafted while on stage.


Also, both the Beatles and Rush practiced real hard, got real good and still kicked out or replaced band members before hitting it big.


I can't believe I used Rush and The Beatles in a single sentence...

 

 

 

 

A side note, that skiffle band actually became The Beatles.

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Posted

I find it fascinating that we have three distinct mindsets here:

 

a) Lighten up and have fun, quit worrying so much.

 

b) Your needs are not being met, so hit the road and find a way to please yourself.

 

c) Find a compromise between the bass player and you.

 

 

Not that any of them are right or wrong, it's just interesting to me the differences in approaches that all of us would take in a situation like this.

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Posted

I'm on your bass player's side on this one.

 

I posted recently about a gig we did. Singer and I recently fired the drummer. Bass player was incapacitated from open heart surgery. Singer and I were supposed to get together with new drummer and bass player for first practice/audition. The day of that practice I got a call saying the State Fair had had a cancellation and they needed a band with full PA in less than 3 hours to do a 4 hour gig on their main concert stage. Called the guys. We took the gig never having played together. Pulled it off too.

 

Moral of the story, if you all know what you're doing you can make good music that people will like. Make sure you're communicating on stage and feeding eachother cues. You can practice 3 million times in your basement and still suck. You just have to get out there and do it.

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Posted

Hey, my brother from Jersey...

 

No offense, but your bass player's an asshat.

 

-------------------------

 

With memorable lines like

 

Him: ...If they dance, good for them, money in the pocket, hoorah. but id rather get up stage and have a good time playing than caring about how well the crowd recieves us

 

- and -

 

Him: cuz i do want to share our music with the people. i just dont care how much they like.

 

-------------------------

 

You sound like a serious musician. He sounds like a lazy stoner that wants to play to entertain himself and doesn't give a rat's ass about people who may actually want to get what they pay for.

 

The most overused excuse by the lazy and unmotivated is "It wasnt about the music". Puh-leez. If it's "about the music", then I imagine you want the least amount of suckage, right? He should consider this a quest. "Serious Reduction of Suck Factor.". You don't get better from no rehearsal. If you do, then I've wasted YEARS!!:mad:

 

My advice is either move on or dump him. Obviously you two are diametrically opposed in the Motivation department. Find people who are as determined and preparation-driven as yourself, and you'll do just fine. Shake off those who would hold you back due to their own laziness.

 

peace and good luck,

Tim from Jersey

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Posted

Theres a bit of untold story here.

 

We played the venue we're supposed to be returning to, fire escape, in early january. We (as I said in the first post) set aside one day for practice. After spending the first half of it waiting for pizza and thrown stuff out the window (don't ask, and no, we weren't on drugs) we got down to business, played everything once, and that was that. The singer showed up sometime after that to hear us, but it really wasnt much.

 

Anyway, we had plans to play another show in february (BOTB at my school) but the drummer had to go to church. Since then we havent practiced.

 

Both of the other guys can't practice after school ever. Just for the record, I'm having band practice today with another small group for a recital at our music place. Its not me being overly dedicated.

 

Also, if i need to say stuff like "you're out" or "you just arent cutting it" i ruin everythign because these guys are my friends and i like to jam with them. They just aren't fit to play in a band.

 

This weekend two members of my old band are coming down from new york and we plan on jamming. if that goes well i might offer to play the show with them and quit the other band.

 

Sorry about the {censored}ty grammar in the first post, like I said its an AIM conversation, but I removed the screen names for protection.

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Posted

you're young and it shouldnt bother you too much but if you do a gig that goes really tits up on account of you guys never practicing or knowing the song sinside out, it's going to make you all look terrible and out the lot of you guys right off it.

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Posted

Oh, and another thing.

 

I've been entireley in contact with the event coordinator, made all the reservations, and got us the gig in the first place. Don't I get to decide what band I want to take with me to the show? I'm sure it wouldnt be hard to say "different band" and thats that.

 

My drummer friend (not in this band) has a play that night, but i'm doing my best to coordinate everything so he can play with us.

 

Lets hope it works =(

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Posted

It's your gig. Take whatever band you think will fill the bill for ya. Player's choice. I used to gig with a guy who'd just call me up, offer me the gig and wouldn't even see the bandmates until I met them for the first time as they were setting up on the bandstand. Cool gig too BTW.

 

As for your bandmates, clearly you're not on the same page. You'll just be frustrated until you find bandmates that have similar thinking as yourself. These guys are your friends so keep jamming with them but find new guys to gig with.

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Posted

Ok, change my first post a little.

 

Never practicing is a bad thing; a very bad thing.

 

I was talking more about being obsessive about perfection and never taking that leap of faith onto a stage.

 

Yeah, if you schedule rehearsals and no one shows up, then it's not a band.

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Posted

Quit the band, it doesn't seem like you're enjoying yourself. But you should try to lighten up a bit. If you aren't enjoying this, and you aren't getting a lot of money for it, why do it?

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Posted

 

Originally posted by HuskerDude

Quit the band, it doesn't seem like you're enjoying yourself. But you should try to lighten up a bit. If you aren't enjoying this, and you aren't getting a lot of money for it, why do it?

 

 

We aren't getting a penny from it, and the "cool, i'm in a band" factor has worn off quite some time ago. Now its a "great, im in a band that doesn't do anything" feeling.

 

Heres what I plan to do:

 

Line up some musicians for the show in a month, and practice as often as possible, at least twice a week.

 

Inform my old band that I'm out as a band member, if they want to find a new guitarist great, if not then whatever. I'll make it clear that there are no hard feelings and I still want to jam with them, but there is no more band.

 

Take the invite for myself, and if they say "thats our invite" I'll remind them that its my invite and if it weren't for me we wouldn't have it in the first place.

 

Play the show in the month, if it goes well we can start writing original songs etc, if its terrible we can break up and I'll start fresh again.

 

I think thats all i really can do. Comments?

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