Members oston Posted March 24, 2006 Members Posted March 24, 2006 I have been in this band I am currently in now for about 4 months. At our first practice we got together, we got a lot accomplished, it was a really good practice for just meeting each other for the first time, and it seemed like there was a lot of chemistry between everyone. But several practices later I got a bad feeling about the lead guitarist. Don't get me wrong here, he is a wicked awesome lead guitarist, he had been playing for 9 years, and he could probably make a acoustic guitar found in the trash with 3 rusted guitar strings, and a missing fret board sound good. But he has a problem with his attitude and showing off. He is constantly ridiculing me, and the other band members about how we are not doing something right when 3 out of the 4 band members have never even heard the song for the first time and are just learning the song for the first time. I am the lead singer in the band, and I literally If I am 1/16th of a note flat on a song that I am singing for the first time he will literally stop playing and talk to me about it for 5 minutes saying that I don't put the effort into learning how to sing the song when I was only told we were doing the song 4 minutes ago and maybe having heard the song one time 6 months ago on the radio. And he constantly tells me that in order for me to be a good singer I have to be able be a session singer and record with someone like james taylor and then 10 minutes later be able to record with someone like slipnot. And that If I can't sing bluegrass, metal, country, pop, rock, then I am just not a good singer. Also when we are playing at the practice house. And when he feels like it's time for one of his solos he will walk over to his amp, and turn his amp all the way up so he can drown out the rhythm, and bass, and drums. Just so that he can get the spotlight. Meanwhile the bass rhythm and drums mess up because they frankly can't hear over the lead guitarist. We have tried and tried to calm him down, but nobody can say anything to him or he will just get mad and be like "Well those people that got signed do the same thing" but I have never been to a concert where the lead guitarist turns his amp up to the point it drowns out everyone else. And I sincerly doubt that anyone who has ever gotten signed as a attitude problem, and that he is better than you at singing. Or playing the drums when they don't even know what a tom is. The other band members really do not want to get rid of him, because he really can play the guitar better. And they think that he will change. But I am just about getting fed up with him and having to argue with him hours upon hours everyday trying to make him realize what he is doing. What would you do?
Members AunShui Posted March 24, 2006 Members Posted March 24, 2006 The next time he does that (referring to the cranking himself thing), calmly set your guitar down, walk up to him, and cock punch him. It will be funny, guaranteed. Seriously though, a band is so much more than the ability levels. If you aren't happy you aren't playing your best and thats that, its time to move along. You sound young (no offense intended), but regardless of age you should talk to the bass and drums and tell them that if they will stay with you, the three of you should kick the lead player, it sounds like he's given everyone enough {censored} already. And of course, cock punch him on the way out.
Members oston Posted March 24, 2006 Author Members Posted March 24, 2006 Yeah, I am quite a bit more younger than everyone else. I kind of bring a little youth to the table as 2 of the members are in there 40's and have been gigging for 25 years. But regardless of age, I personally believe this is ridiculus. I would love to kick him out, unfortunately the other members feel that replacements would be hard to come by and they seem to think there is still hope in taming him. We have even had meetings to see what we could do to sort of cut him off. Telling him If he wanted to show off he could stand up there and play by himself for 15 minutes while the other people went off stage to take a break. We have even just all stopped playing and looked at him whenever he pulls this stuff, and waited for him to stop. But he can't get it through his head that he is out of line.
Members BlueStrat Posted March 24, 2006 Members Posted March 24, 2006 Originally posted by AunShui The next time he does that (referring to the cranking himself thing), calmly set your guitar down, walk up to him, and cock punch him. It will be funny, guaranteed. Seriously though, a band is so much more than the ability levels. If you aren't happy you aren't playing your best and thats that, its time to move along. You sound young (no offense intended), but regardless of age you should talk to the bass and drums and tell them that if they will stay with you, the three of you should kick the lead player, it sounds like he's given everyone enough {censored} already. And of course, cock punch him on the way out. Yup, exactly what I was thinking. Definitely cock punch. God, I hate these guys that ruin the fun for everyone else. He's played for 9 years? OOOH! Can I get an autograph? {censored}, I've got socks older than that.
Members THX1138 Posted March 24, 2006 Members Posted March 24, 2006 Originally posted by THBv2.0 Tell him to {censored} off. And then cock punch him for good measure.
Moderators BATCAT Posted March 24, 2006 Moderators Posted March 24, 2006 Originally posted by oston 2 of the members are in there 40's and have been gigging for 25 years. Dude, from your post, I honestly assumed you were a bunch of high-schoolers. People seldom undergo the kind of radical personality change you seem to be hoping from from this guy. If I were you and your bandmates, I'd definitely kick him out. And then I'd cockpunch him.
Members Tedster Posted March 24, 2006 Members Posted March 24, 2006 Ty Tabor, guitarist of King's X...said it best... If you have a choice between hiring a guy who's a really cool guy and an okay player, or hiring a killer kickass player who's difficult to get along with, ALWAYS hire the cool guy. Ditch this jerk. He just wants to use you guys as a vehicle for his showing off. Go find an okay player who's a really cool guy.
Members Scodiddly Posted March 24, 2006 Members Posted March 24, 2006 Here's what I'd probably say: "Dude, if you're that much better than us, WTF are you doing in this band? Couldn't you get into a band that is more on your level?"
Members oston Posted March 24, 2006 Author Members Posted March 24, 2006 It's not that he is so much better than him. Talent wise we are all on the same level. I guess he just feels threatened that since everyone in the band is good, he thinks someone will take the spot light from him.
Members Blackwatch Posted March 24, 2006 Members Posted March 24, 2006 Hey...I'm wearing socks older than that.... Life is too short to put up with this crap. The real kicker is, when you finally get away from it you kick yourself for putting up with it for so long. Get in his face and tell him that if he talks to you from now on it's to be in a respectful manner, that you will not tollerate being verbally abused. Period. You'll feel better for not taking it and if you present it in an adult manner you're in the right......
Members Tedster Posted March 24, 2006 Members Posted March 24, 2006 Give me his phone number. I'll call him and tell him to pack his {censored}.
Members gtrbass Posted March 24, 2006 Members Posted March 24, 2006 Oston, Like the Ty Tabor statement Tedster mentions, the one I heard was "Nobody wants an asshole on their bus." Can't remember who said it, but its the same thing. I've run into guys like the one you describe. Usually they wind up playing in their bedroom by themeselves. They'll sit there and think their just "too good" and no one appreciates their "perfectionism, and genius". Meanwhile everyone else in the world is glad they became a "Solo Artist". Send him packing or bail. 90% of the battle of being in a band is finding a group of guys who like the same thing and get along. (unity) Never ever waste a second in a situation where someone like you've described is involved. He' s a narcissistic and abusive loser. If the Geezer's (I can say that as I'm one myself) are worried about finding a replacement ask them: "Which would you prefer to search for? A new guitar player or a new singer because those are your choices."
Members Brian Krashpad Posted March 24, 2006 Members Posted March 24, 2006 Originally posted by oston I have been in this band I am currently in now for about 4 months. At our first practice we got together, we got a lot accomplished, it was a really good practice for just meeting each other for the first time, and it seemed like there was a lot of chemistry between everyone. But several practices later I got a bad feeling about the lead guitarist. Don't get me wrong here, he is a wicked awesome lead guitarist, he had been playing for 9 years, and he could probably make a acoustic guitar found in the trash with 3 rusted guitar strings, and a missing fret board sound good. But he has a problem with his attitude and showing off. He is constantly ridiculing me, and the other band members about how we are not doing something right when 3 out of the 4 band members have never even heard the song for the first time and are just learning the song for the first time. I am the lead singer in the band, and I literally If I am 1/16th of a note flat on a song that I am singing for the first time he will literally stop playing and talk to me about it for 5 minutes saying that I don't put the effort into learning how to sing the song when I was only told we were doing the song 4 minutes ago and maybe having heard the song one time 6 months ago on the radio. And he constantly tells me that in order for me to be a good singer I have to be able be a session singer and record with someone like james taylor and then 10 minutes later be able to record with someone like slipnot. And that If I can't sing bluegrass, metal, country, pop, rock, then I am just not a good singer. Oh god, an "achievement guitarist." Those are the guys that believe you must be able to do everythig well in order to be a great performer. Its bollocks. The Ramones could do one thing very well and wrote the same song about 98 times over. I say this being a huge Ramones fan. Same thing for Motorhead, AC/DC and plenty of other bands. This guy is an asshole. Quietly go about finding a replacement for him. Your having to post here shows he's clearly outlived his usefulness. BK
Members gtrbass Posted March 24, 2006 Members Posted March 24, 2006 An "achievement guitarist." Love that They have VST plug ins for that now...
Members crisis Posted March 24, 2006 Members Posted March 24, 2006 Originally posted by THBv2.0 Tell him to {censored} off. yeh, this question kind of answers itself really.
Members theron Posted March 24, 2006 Members Posted March 24, 2006 Originally posted by oston I would love to kick him out, unfortunately the other members feel that replacements would be hard to come by and they seem to think there is still hope in taming him. Wow... you should have the other guys in your band pull up Craigslist, or take a look at the classifieds in whatever weekly paper you have in your town! As a guitarist, I can safely say that we're a dime a dozen... and you'd probably be able to quickly find a couple of guys with his skill level (or 10x whatever level he's at) WITHOUT the serious attitude problems. Especially since you're playing with guys in their 40's... as someone who just crossed over that barrier, I can tell you we've had a lot of time to: a. Become proficient on our instrument. b. Be humbled to the point of losing all semblance of rock star "attitude". Good luck man, and don't put up with that bull{censored}e.
Members Blackwatch Posted March 24, 2006 Members Posted March 24, 2006 Hello and welcome to another Seattle guy... I checked out your website and you guys have a great band, and you're playing with the" I don't like your Face" Heaters. One of my favorite bands in the 80"s. I learned more about the guitar from watching Steve Pearson than just about any other source. Good to have you on board.....
Members Mr Bliss Posted March 24, 2006 Members Posted March 24, 2006 I don't kmnow what a cock punch is but that asshole deserves several, along with a knee in the nuts & a Glasgow kiss.
Members theron Posted March 24, 2006 Members Posted March 24, 2006 Originally posted by Blackwatch Hello and welcome to another Seattle guy... I checked out your website and you guys have a great band, and you're playing with the" I don't like your Face" Heaters. One of my favorite bands in the 80"s. I learned more about the guitar from watching Steve Pearson than just about any other source. Good to have you on board..... Thanks for the welcome and the kind words! Steve is a really cool guy and a great player- I agree, watching him play for a set is like half a year worth of guitar lessons crammed into 45 minutes. We've done a couple of gigs with them over the years, and I count myself lucky to get to play with them once in awhile! If you're in the neighborhood when we're playin', come on by and I'll buy you a beer or three!
Members squealie Posted March 24, 2006 Members Posted March 24, 2006 I was in a band with someone like that once. I am kinda grateful, because I learned a lot from him, but I've learned a lot from everyone I've ever played with. But ultimately, you have to lose this guy because he will destroy the band. Guys like this, will go to the limit, to keep control of everything they can, because they don't want the other guys to see, that they could get along without him. It makes everybody miserable. Lose him. It'll be quicker to train a mediocre guitarist than it would be to wait for someone to learn humility and respect.
Members drumking02 Posted March 24, 2006 Members Posted March 24, 2006 Funny ... we have a bass player right now who picks apart everything we do. Not surprisingly, he's the only one in the band who also only wants to practice one day a week. I try to keep a positive attitude ... I know he wants the band to sound better, but you have to be able to put the work in to achieve that. I'd say the difference from your lead guitarist, is that this bassist is basically a nice guy.
Members plastic Posted March 24, 2006 Members Posted March 24, 2006 Originally posted by oston I have been in this band I am currently in now for about 4 months. At our first practice we got together, we got a lot accomplished, it was a really good practice for just meeting each other for the first time, and it seemed like there was a lot of chemistry between everyone. But several practices later I got a bad feeling about the lead guitarist. Don't get me wrong here, he is a wicked awesome lead guitarist, he had been playing for 9 years, and he could probably make a acoustic guitar found in the trash with 3 rusted guitar strings, and a missing fret board sound good. But he has a problem with his attitude and showing off. He is constantly ridiculing me, and the other band members about how we are not doing something right when 3 out of the 4 band members have never even heard the song for the first time and are just learning the song for the first time. I am the lead singer in the band, and I literally If I am 1/16th of a note flat on a song that I am singing for the first time he will literally stop playing and talk to me about it for 5 minutes saying that I don't put the effort into learning how to sing the song when I was only told we were doing the song 4 minutes ago and maybe having heard the song one time 6 months ago on the radio. And he constantly tells me that in order for me to be a good singer I have to be able be a session singer and record with someone like james taylor and then 10 minutes later be able to record with someone like slipnot. And that If I can't sing bluegrass, metal, country, pop, rock, then I am just not a good singer. Also when we are playing at the practice house. And when he feels like it's time for one of his solos he will walk over to his amp, and turn his amp all the way up so he can drown out the rhythm, and bass, and drums. Just so that he can get the spotlight. Meanwhile the bass rhythm and drums mess up because they frankly can't hear over the lead guitarist. We have tried and tried to calm him down, but nobody can say anything to him or he will just get mad and be like "Well those people that got signed do the same thing" but I have never been to a concert where the lead guitarist turns his amp up to the point it drowns out everyone else. And I sincerly doubt that anyone who has ever gotten signed as a attitude problem, and that he is better than you at singing. Or playing the drums when they don't even know what a tom is. The other band members really do not want to get rid of him, because he really can play the guitar better. And they think that he will change. But I am just about getting fed up with him and having to argue with him hours upon hours everyday trying to make him realize what he is doing. What would you do? LOL! That's funny. Next time he walks over and turns his amp up for a solo tell him a "real" guitar player would either use the guitar volume nob or have some sort of footswitchable boost so they don't look like dumbasses turning around, walkin to their amp and turning it up for a solo.
Members headpiecepuzzle Posted March 24, 2006 Members Posted March 24, 2006 Ditch the guy. He's freakin clueless. This is the kind of person who will not only make things a living hell WITHIN your band, but will also alienate, insult, and annoy people on the outside who could be in a position to help you down the road. He might be a "great player" after nine years but he's an amateur and an asshole, and he's dragging you down.
Moderators Lee Knight Posted March 24, 2006 Moderators Posted March 24, 2006 I was in a band with a guy like that as well... That was 20 years ago. That guy is now a manic depressive achoholic living off his Dad's pension. He's 50 or so now and doesn't work or gig. When a friend of mine traveled across the country to say hello and see if he may need help, the guitarist sat in the backyard trashed on Coors with his back turned, stared at the fence and said, "{censored} off, go away." My point... some people do not deserve your attention. Don't let them waste your time.
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