I can't fucking win!

[AunShui]

Enough of you have read my numerous threads about problems with my various bands.

 

The last time you heard from me, I had found a drummer and a bassist who were willing to help me out. It was going to be a long stretch, but we would have been able to pull something together for a show on the 7th.

 

Tonight I contacted the bass player(this is different than the guy I posted a convo with), who is now entireley unwilling to do anything. Plus, his dad is taking him up to New York on the one weekend we would have had for practice (this coming weekend), so now I'm left with a drummer who would have to bend over backwards to get to the show (has a play the same night).

 

So now I have no set list, no vocalist, no bassist, and the biggest gig i've yet played in under 2 weeks. I can't ask my old band to get back together because they'll feel used and won't want to, plus i don't really want them. I can't make the bassist do anythign he doesnt want to, and I don't know anyone else who can pull their {censored} together this fast or who wants to.

 

So as soon as I talk to the drummer, I'm going to send an email to the event coordinator appologising for this and that will be that.

 

I think I'm going to take a long, hard break from the band scene, probably until college. I can't {censored}ing take this {censored} with people who don't care and friends who won't hold good on their promises.

[ThumpThumpTwang]

That's a rough break, man. You sure have been trying to pull something together long enough. Maybe take a breather, and when you're not trying so hard, something might fall into place. Ya just never know.

 

Good luck.

[headpiecepuzzle]

That sucks, man. When I was your age I once had a drummer leave the band because during the winter he had a tradition of going swimming with his dad at the Y.

 

The bassist and I were like "WTF?? You gotta swim with your dad every single day?" ...but he was unwilling to discuss it further. We never fully figured that one out - I think he just didn't want to do it anymore and was bad at coming up with plausible justification.

 

Some people really like the idea of joining a band but flake out when it comes to doing the work. It's a hobby to them like model airplanes or swimming at the Y. Then you have people like us, where once it's in our blood - that's it. Life choice. This is what we do.

 

You've got to find people who take it as seriously as you do, and that's really hard when you're in highschool because there are a lot of kids who are just trying different things out, trying to figure out who they are. Some things they try stick and some don't - unfortunately if they're someone you were depending on and it doesn't stick, you're screwed for a minute.

 

I think you have the right idea with taking a break from it for a while. My advice would be to practice your butt off, work on your playing and your writing chops as much as you can, and then later (like in college) when you're ready to try again, you'll be way ahead of the game and be able to get into projects with better, more serious musicians.

 

Good luck with it, whatever you decide to do.

[Blackbelt1]

I agree with the other posters.

 

Great bands kind of "happen." They are rarely assembled in deliberate fashion. It's kind of like falling in love...if you're looking for it you won't find it. If you're not...sometimes it has a way of finding you.

 

~Blackbelt

[Jiggs]

 

Originally posted by AunShui Enough of you have read my numerous threads about problems with my various bands. The last time you heard from me, I had found a drummer and a bassist who were willing to help me out. It was going to be a long stretch, but we would have been able to pull something together for a show on the 7th. Tonight I contacted the bass player(this is different than the guy I posted a convo with), who is now entireley unwilling to do anything. Plus, his dad is taking him up to New York on the one weekend we would have had for practice (this coming weekend), so now I'm left with a drummer who would have to bend over backwards to get to the show (has a play the same night). So now I have no set list, no vocalist, no bassist, and the biggest gig i've yet played in under 2 weeks. I can't ask my old band to get back together because they'll feel used and won't want to, plus i don't really want them. I can't make the bassist do anythign he doesnt want to, and I don't know anyone else who can pull their {censored} together this fast or who wants to. So as soon as I talk to the drummer, I'm going to send an email to the event coordinator appologising for this and that will be that. I think I'm going to take a long, hard break from the band scene, probably until college. I can't {censored}ing take this {censored} with people who don't care and friends who won't hold good on their promises.

 

 

I don't kniow enough of your situation to know whether this is a good question,...but....is there a way you can do it solo?....Acoustic/Elc guitar?

 

I ask this because as a singer/songwriter, I could always go this route if I had to.

[AunShui]

Thanks for the replies everyone!

 

Yeah, the situation sort of sucks, as I really would have liked to been able to play this gig (if we had done well, money and free gear could have been involved) but it just isnt going to work out.

 

I'm going to jam a bit with the drummer, and if that goes places we can talk about making a proper band and writing some songs, but I'm not going to activeley look for a band; that just isnt going to work.

 

Jiggs- the music is definateley not solo-type stuff, plus I don't sing, plus theres an entireley seperate event for the people who do the acoustic deal, so that isn't an option.

 

I heard back from the coordinator...he understands my situation and isn't mad at all; he is actually overbooked for the night so it isn't too big of a deal that we aren't going to play. I've even been invited back to the event for free and to the dinner for all the bands that played that year, so no hard feelings and if something comes around this summer, maybe I'll talk about playing for him next year.

[cherri]

I'm stating the obvious here, but shouldn't you put the band together and rehearse your act BEFORE you book shows?

[Janx]

You're young yet, plenty of time to find the right opportunity.

 

Sounds like you didn't burn any bridges, that's good.

 

Perhaps you might try a plan akin to:

construct a band with goal of doing a gig (or many gigs)

jam together, to make sure you mesh

build a setlist and figure out how long it'll take to get good at it

Set a goal to master the setlis in X months

when you reach setlist mastery, then actively seek out a 1st gig

Play the gig, see how it goes

 

Basically, set a goal for yourselves, and a schedule. But don't lock into a gig until you're sure you have a team that can do it.

 

Janx

[AunShui]

 

Originally posted by cherri I'm stating the obvious here, but shouldn't you put the band together and rehearse your act BEFORE you book shows?

 

 

 

Looooooooong story. Check out my previous posts.