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A guy who subbed with my band twice sent me a text recently asking if we could play his wedding. He isn't a close friend but I like the guy so.... what the hell. I mentioned that we would require at LEAST a pair of mains and subs and 3 monitors. He said he would work on the PA. Also, we wouldn't be paid.

 

"wait", you say... "we've all been asked to play weddings for free".. yes, we have. BUT:

 

How many of you have been asked to pay your own way to FLORIDA from TEXAS including travel, meals, and accomodations in order to play a wedding for free. ALSO, the current drummer has never met him and our bassist will be out of town so we would need a sub bassist. I said "I don't think those guys would do it as they have never met you" but he told me to ask regardless..

 

:facepalm:

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A guy who subbed with my band twice sent me a text recently asking if we could play his wedding. He isn't a close friend but I like the guy so.... what the hell. I mentioned that we would require at LEAST a pair of mains and subs and 3 monitors. He said he would work on the PA. Also, we wouldn't be paid.


"wait", you say... "we've all been asked to play weddings for free".. yes, we have. BUT:


How many of you have been asked to pay your own way to FLORIDA from TEXAS including travel, meals, and accomodations in order to play a wedding for free. ALSO, the current drummer has never met him and our bassist will be out of town so we would need a sub bassist. I said "I don't think those guys would do it as they have never met you" but he told me to ask regardless..


:facepalm:

 

I say... set up a video camera, dress nice, tape a performance and remember to record a few shout outs to the bride and groom. Mail him a DVD with a congrats card from the band. Have the band chip in to have a production company set a 50"LCD TV to play the DVD on. There you just played his wedding.... and you never had to leave the state of Texas. :D

 

 

There you just played his wedding

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The only thing even close to this (and it's not) is we were asked to do a benefit almost 2 1/2 hours away.

 

We would bring our own PA & lights, provide sound all day for other bands (starting at noon) and from 6pm-10pm we would "headline." All for people we don't know.

 

They called us cuz they heard from a friend of a friend that we do benefits, could use the exposure and we are a "decent band."

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I say... set up a video camera, dress nice, tape a performance and remember to record a few shout outs to the bride and groom. Mail him a DVD with a congrats card from the band. Have the band chip in to have a production company set a 50"LCD TV to play the DVD on. There you just played his wedding.... and you never had to leave the state of Texas.
:D


There you just played his wedding

 

^^^ THIS!!^^^^

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We get ads like this on CL priodically...not out of state, but someone asking for bands who will play their outdoor yard party or wedding reception for food and a few beers and for "exposure"...but they have to submit tapes and promo to be considered for the free gig. Oy vey. There just aren't enough faceplams in the world.

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I enjoy a good "...top this" challenge, cuz my career is riddled with FAIL.

 

See if this gets close.

 

Former student, son of a bandmate (I play in several), is acting at a playhouse and gives my name to a producer as they are looking for a band for an upcoming production.

 

I get a contract signed for 2 weekends and a Thursday night. Humble coin, but doable as there are only 5 tunes and an intermission instrumental. I use the band with the students dad. He is a big wig at an insurance company and has lots of people who gladly do what he asks (this comes into play later).

 

"Hey man, do you mind if junior plays with us?"

Well it turns out that dad wants junior to play AND get paid. Hmm...call the other guys and tell them about the pay cut, and the drummer says that he has to go out of town anyway. GREAT! I'll play drums (I'm good enough to handle it) and all is well.

 

2 weeks later. "Hey man, junior can't do the thursday or the 2 saturdays."

So I hire a drummer and will switch to guitar on those days. Junior plays gtr and I play drums on the 2 fridays.

 

1 week later. "Hey man, as it turns out, junior CAN do all the dates."

Well, I'm contracting the gig, so I gotta take a hit here to keep dad happy as he is handling 70% of the vocals. Fine, he can take his gigs back. And I just won't play those dates. Now I'm down to drumming on 2 fridays.

 

1 week later "Hey man, big drama. Junior can't do any of these dates."

Dammit, I just booked myself for one of the open dates, elsewhere. I get on the horn and put out the fires. And hire another drummer for the gigs I was to play on drums as the other guy couldn't do them. Back on guitar for all the gigs.

 

1 day after rehearsal, 2 days before first gig. "Hey man. What instrument are you going to play? Junior can play the gigs, and quite frankly, he really needs the money and the gig means alot to him." FFFFFUUUUUCCCCK. O.K., this guy is a friend, and junior went thru some serious drama, he's a good kid, and I just got a call for some of the dates. Cool. He can have them. Now I am not playing the {censored}ing gig. That I have made 30 phone calls for.

 

5 hours before the gig. That I'm not playing on. "Hey man. You'll see this on the news. They evacuated our building cuz of a bomb threat. And I left my keys on my desk. If they don't let us back in, and word is they won't until tomorrow, and I have no way to get to the gig." (his work is an hour from his house which is 30 min from the gig)

 

"Do I need to hire another singer?"

 

"I dunno that's your call."

 

"Holy Mary Mother of GAWD! What the {censored} is wrong with you? Do you want to do what you have to do to get to the gig or not? I need an answer NOW!"

 

"Well, go ahead and call somebody cuz I don't know what is happening. I might have to be here for a while. There is FBI and {censored}...."

 

So I start calling, and in 5 miniutes dude calls and says all is well, and we are good to go, and he is on his way back in the building.:facepalm:

 

2 hours before gig and he is driving home from work. "Hey man, I was thinking. On tune XYZ, junior could really use some help. Could you come down tonight and kinda help guide him through?"

 

Well, I kinda flipped. "Dammit, I don't work for you. This isn't the office. Have you figured that out yet? YOu work for me. I sub contracted YOU for a gig. I'm the one who signed a contract, dumbass. And I have made phone call after phone call for you and your little guitar playing offspring. FOR A {censored}ING GIG I AM NOT EVEN GETTING PAID FOR! NADA! NOTHING! ALL BECAUSE OF YOU! I'M NOT GOING TO BE THERE BECAUSE OF ALL THE THINGS YOU ASKED ME TO DO!!!! HHHHEEEELLLL NO I WON'T BE THERE."

 

Calmly, without missing a beat he says "Oh. O.k. Um, I'm gonna be in town tomorrow, wanna grab some lunch?"

 

{censored}ing musicians.

 

EDIT: And if you are wondering why I am such a sucka, it is cuz we really are close friends. He is an incredible talent, and we have been playing drama free, for close to 8 years now. His attitude is spillover from his job. It is nothing for him to ask herculean tasks from his employees; does it every day. He just gets a bit unaware that he is pushing too hard. He fed me a steak and some scotch the next day and apologized. He recorded that last bit on his phone, and he played it back we laughed like hell. I was {censored}ING PISSED! Gig went fine and his kid called thrilled to death at his first "pro gig" and thanked me for giving it too him, and for all my efforts. If they weren't such good people, Ida kilt him.

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"wait", you say... "we've all been asked to play weddings for free".. yes, we have. BUT:


How many of you have been asked to pay your own way to FLORIDA from TEXAS including travel, meals, and accomodations in order to play a wedding for free.


:facepalm:

 

Dude, think about the exposure. You can do all the freebie gigs in Florida that you want!!!!

 

Maybe time for a name change? Tallahasseecowbell? There's no money in it but the exposure will be great.

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I enjoy a good "...top this" challenge, cuz my career is riddled with FAIL.


See if this gets close.


Former student, son of a bandmate (I play in several), is acting at a playhouse and gives my name to a producer as they are looking for a band for an upcoming production.


I get a contract signed for 2 weekends and a Thursday night. Humble coin, but doable as there are only 5 tunes and an intermission instrumental. I use the band with the students dad. He is a big wig at an insurance company and has lots of people who gladly do what he asks (this comes into play later).


"Hey man, do you mind if junior plays with us?"

Well it turns out that dad wants junior to play AND get paid. Hmm...call the other guys and tell them about the pay cut, and the drummer says that he has to go out of town anyway. GREAT! I'll play drums (I'm good enough to handle it) and all is well.


2 weeks later. "Hey man, junior can't do the thursday or the 2 saturdays."

So I hire a drummer and will switch to guitar on those days. Junior plays gtr and I play drums on the 2 fridays.


1 week later. "Hey man, as it turns out, junior CAN do all the dates."

Well, I'm contracting the gig, so I gotta take a hit here to keep dad happy as he is handling 70% of the vocals. Fine, he can take his gigs back. And I just won't play those dates. Now I'm down to drumming on 2 fridays.


1 week later "Hey man, big drama. Junior can't do any of these dates."

Dammit, I just booked myself for one of the open dates, elsewhere. I get on the horn and put out the fires. And hire another drummer for the gigs I was to play on drums as the other guy couldn't do them. Back on guitar for all the gigs.


1 day after rehearsal, 2 days before first gig. "Hey man. What instrument are you going to play? Junior can play the gigs, and quite frankly, he really needs the money and the gig means alot to him." FFFFFUUUUUCCCCK. O.K., this guy is a friend, and junior went thru some serious drama, he's a good kid, and I just got a call for some of the dates. Cool. He can have them. Now I am not playing the {censored}ing gig. That I have made 30 phone calls for.


5 hours before the gig. That I'm not playing on. "Hey man. You'll see this on the news. They evacuated our building cuz of a bomb threat. And I left my keys on my desk. If they don't let us back in, and word is they won't until tomorrow, and I have no way to get to the gig." (his work is an hour from his house which is 30 min from the gig)


"Do I need to hire another singer?"


"I dunno that's your call."


"Holy Mary Mother of GAWD! What the {censored} is wrong with you? Do you want to do what you have to do to get to the gig or not? I need an answer NOW!"


"Well, go ahead and call somebody cuz I don't know what is happening. I might have to be here for a while. There is FBI and {censored}...."


So I start calling, and in 5 miniutes dude calls and says all is well, and we are good to go, and he is on his way back in the building.
:facepalm:

2 hours before gig and he is driving home from work. "Hey man, I was thinking. On tune XYZ, junior could really use some help. Could you come down tonight and kinda help guide him through?"


Well, I kinda flipped. "Dammit, I don't work for you. This isn't the office. Have you figured that out yet? YOu work for me. I sub contracted YOU for a gig. I'm the one who signed a contract, dumbass. And I have made phone call after phone call for you and your little guitar playing offspring. FOR A {censored}ING GIG I AM NOT EVEN GETTING PAID FOR! NADA! NOTHING! ALL BECAUSE OF YOU! I'M NOT GOING TO BE THERE BECAUSE OF ALL THE THINGS YOU ASKED ME TO DO!!!! HHHHEEEELLLL NO I WON'T BE THERE."


Calmly, without missing a beat he says "Oh. O.k. Um, I'm gonna be in town tomorrow, wanna grab some lunch?"


{censored}ing musicians.


EDIT: And if you are wondering why I am such a sucka, it is cuz we really are close friends. He is an incredible talent, and we have been playing drama free, for close to 8 years now. His attitude is spillover from his job. It is nothing for him to ask herculean tasks from his employees; does it every day. He just gets a bit unaware that he is pushing too hard. He fed me a steak and some scotch the next day and apologized. He recorded that last bit on his phone, and he played it back we laughed like hell. I was {censored}ING PISSED! Gig went fine and his kid called thrilled to death at his first "pro gig" and thanked me for giving it too him, and for all my efforts. If they weren't such good people, Ida kilt him.

 

LOL... Haha. I think I know that guy... in fact I think I know three of them.

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I enjoy a good "...top this" challenge, cuz my career is riddled with FAIL.


See if this gets close.


Former student, son of a bandmate (I play in several), is acting at a playhouse and gives my name to a producer as they are looking for a band for an upcoming production.


I get a contract signed for 2 weekends and a Thursday night. Humble coin, but doable as there are only 5 tunes and an intermission instrumental. I use the band with the students dad. He is a big wig at an insurance company and has lots of people who gladly do what he asks (this comes into play later).


"Hey man, do you mind if junior plays with us?"

Well it turns out that dad wants junior to play AND get paid. Hmm...call the other guys and tell them about the pay cut, and the drummer says that he has to go out of town anyway. GREAT! I'll play drums (I'm good enough to handle it) and all is well.


2 weeks later. "Hey man, junior can't do the thursday or the 2 saturdays."

So I hire a drummer and will switch to guitar on those days. Junior plays gtr and I play drums on the 2 fridays.


1 week later. "Hey man, as it turns out, junior CAN do all the dates."

Well, I'm contracting the gig, so I gotta take a hit here to keep dad happy as he is handling 70% of the vocals. Fine, he can take his gigs back. And I just won't play those dates. Now I'm down to drumming on 2 fridays.


1 week later "Hey man, big drama. Junior can't do any of these dates."

Dammit, I just booked myself for one of the open dates, elsewhere. I get on the horn and put out the fires. And hire another drummer for the gigs I was to play on drums as the other guy couldn't do them. Back on guitar for all the gigs.


1 day after rehearsal, 2 days before first gig. "Hey man. What instrument are you going to play? Junior can play the gigs, and quite frankly, he really needs the money and the gig means alot to him." FFFFFUUUUUCCCCK. O.K., this guy is a friend, and junior went thru some serious drama, he's a good kid, and I just got a call for some of the dates. Cool. He can have them. Now I am not playing the {censored}ing gig. That I have made 30 phone calls for.


5 hours before the gig. That I'm not playing on. "Hey man. You'll see this on the news. They evacuated our building cuz of a bomb threat. And I left my keys on my desk. If they don't let us back in, and word is they won't until tomorrow, and I have no way to get to the gig." (his work is an hour from his house which is 30 min from the gig)


"Do I need to hire another singer?"


"I dunno that's your call."


"Holy Mary Mother of GAWD! What the {censored} is wrong with you? Do you want to do what you have to do to get to the gig or not? I need an answer NOW!"


"Well, go ahead and call somebody cuz I don't know what is happening. I might have to be here for a while. There is FBI and {censored}...."


So I start calling, and in 5 miniutes dude calls and says all is well, and we are good to go, and he is on his way back in the building.
:facepalm:

2 hours before gig and he is driving home from work. "Hey man, I was thinking. On tune XYZ, junior could really use some help. Could you come down tonight and kinda help guide him through?"


Well, I kinda flipped. "Dammit, I don't work for you. This isn't the office. Have you figured that out yet? YOu work for me. I sub contracted YOU for a gig. I'm the one who signed a contract, dumbass. And I have made phone call after phone call for you and your little guitar playing offspring. FOR A {censored}ING GIG I AM NOT EVEN GETTING PAID FOR! NADA! NOTHING! ALL BECAUSE OF YOU! I'M NOT GOING TO BE THERE BECAUSE OF ALL THE THINGS YOU ASKED ME TO DO!!!! HHHHEEEELLLL NO I WON'T BE THERE."


Calmly, without missing a beat he says "Oh. O.k. Um, I'm gonna be in town tomorrow, wanna grab some lunch?"


{censored}ing musicians.


EDIT: And if you are wondering why I am such a sucka, it is cuz we really are close friends. He is an incredible talent, and we have been playing drama free, for close to 8 years now. His attitude is spillover from his job. It is nothing for him to ask herculean tasks from his employees; does it every day. He just gets a bit unaware that he is pushing too hard. He fed me a steak and some scotch the next day and apologized. He recorded that last bit on his phone, and he played it back we laughed like hell. I was {censored}ING PISSED! Gig went fine and his kid called thrilled to death at his first "pro gig" and thanked me for giving it too him, and for all my efforts. If they weren't such good people, Ida kilt him.

 

GREAT story! I don't think there's any way my day can't go really well now after hearing THAT!

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I enjoy a good "...top this" challenge, cuz my career is riddled with FAIL.


See if this gets close.


Former student, son of a bandmate (I play in several), is acting at a playhouse and gives my name to a producer as they are looking for a band for an upcoming production.


I get a contract signed for 2 weekends and a Thursday night. Humble coin, but doable as there are only 5 tunes and an intermission instrumental. I use the band with the students dad. He is a big wig at an insurance company and has lots of people who gladly do what he asks (this comes into play later).


"Hey man, do you mind if junior plays with us?"

Well it turns out that dad wants junior to play AND get paid. Hmm...call the other guys and tell them about the pay cut, and the drummer says that he has to go out of town anyway. GREAT! I'll play drums (I'm good enough to handle it) and all is well.


2 weeks later. "Hey man, junior can't do the thursday or the 2 saturdays."

So I hire a drummer and will switch to guitar on those days. Junior plays gtr and I play drums on the 2 fridays.


1 week later. "Hey man, as it turns out, junior CAN do all the dates."

Well, I'm contracting the gig, so I gotta take a hit here to keep dad happy as he is handling 70% of the vocals. Fine, he can take his gigs back. And I just won't play those dates. Now I'm down to drumming on 2 fridays.


1 week later "Hey man, big drama. Junior can't do any of these dates."

Dammit, I just booked myself for one of the open dates, elsewhere. I get on the horn and put out the fires. And hire another drummer for the gigs I was to play on drums as the other guy couldn't do them. Back on guitar for all the gigs.


1 day after rehearsal, 2 days before first gig. "Hey man. What instrument are you going to play? Junior can play the gigs, and quite frankly, he really needs the money and the gig means alot to him." FFFFFUUUUUCCCCK. O.K., this guy is a friend, and junior went thru some serious drama, he's a good kid, and I just got a call for some of the dates. Cool. He can have them. Now I am not playing the {censored}ing gig. That I have made 30 phone calls for.


5 hours before the gig. That I'm not playing on. "Hey man. You'll see this on the news. They evacuated our building cuz of a bomb threat. And I left my keys on my desk. If they don't let us back in, and word is they won't until tomorrow, and I have no way to get to the gig." (his work is an hour from his house which is 30 min from the gig)


"Do I need to hire another singer?"


"I dunno that's your call."


"Holy Mary Mother of GAWD! What the {censored} is wrong with you? Do you want to do what you have to do to get to the gig or not? I need an answer NOW!"


"Well, go ahead and call somebody cuz I don't know what is happening. I might have to be here for a while. There is FBI and {censored}...."


So I start calling, and in 5 miniutes dude calls and says all is well, and we are good to go, and he is on his way back in the building.
:facepalm:

2 hours before gig and he is driving home from work. "Hey man, I was thinking. On tune XYZ, junior could really use some help. Could you come down tonight and kinda help guide him through?"


Well, I kinda flipped. "Dammit, I don't work for you. This isn't the office. Have you figured that out yet? YOu work for me. I sub contracted YOU for a gig. I'm the one who signed a contract, dumbass. And I have made phone call after phone call for you and your little guitar playing offspring. FOR A {censored}ING GIG I AM NOT EVEN GETTING PAID FOR! NADA! NOTHING! ALL BECAUSE OF YOU! I'M NOT GOING TO BE THERE BECAUSE OF ALL THE THINGS YOU ASKED ME TO DO!!!! HHHHEEEELLLL NO I WON'T BE THERE."


Calmly, without missing a beat he says "Oh. O.k. Um, I'm gonna be in town tomorrow, wanna grab some lunch?"


{censored}ing musicians.


EDIT: And if you are wondering why I am such a sucka, it is cuz we really are close friends. He is an incredible talent, and we have been playing drama free, for close to 8 years now. His attitude is spillover from his job. It is nothing for him to ask herculean tasks from his employees; does it every day. He just gets a bit unaware that he is pushing too hard. He fed me a steak and some scotch the next day and apologized. He recorded that last bit on his phone, and he played it back we laughed like hell. I was {censored}ING PISSED! Gig went fine and his kid called thrilled to death at his first "pro gig" and thanked me for giving it too him, and for all my efforts. If they weren't such good people, Ida kilt him.

 

LOL!! Awesome:thu:

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