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A question about substance abuse


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I was talking to a guy who said he had a drinking problem, and when I asked him why he drank, he said that it was because of issues with his father. He mentioned that his relationship was pretty rocky and that's why he drank.

 

Personally, I don't see the connection. Some of you maybe could enlighten me on this?

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It is interesting. My wife has been watching the show Intervention because both her deceased parents were alcoholics and she is trying to figure out the addiction. Seems like over 95% of all the people on the show are addicts because of some kind of father issue. I never realized that the father plays such a large part in the child's life. I always assumed the mother was the biggest influence. While I would have agreed with Rezrover a year ago, I now have a different understanding of the disease. If the guy claims he is drinking because of his father, I believe him. Totally opposite of what I previously believed.

 

It might not be that his father abused him. A lot of people have issues because their father didn't pay enough attention to them. They felt neglected and are using the alcohol or drugs to fill the void and to help them to not try to figure out why their relationship was so dysfunctional.

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I had a roommate who was going through a divorce and referred to her knocking back two double scotches and putting away a bottle of wine every night as "situational drinking". Sounds similar to what this guy is telling you.

 

Nothing wrong with a drink or two to take the edge off your mood...but make sure you're holding the bottle--and not the other way around.

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It's simple, drugs, or alcohol give a (hopefully) temporary escape from the reality of the problem. Unfortunately it can come at a severe price and is not actually an answer to the problem. A lot of people resort to this type of behavior as a means to deal with Mom or Dad or whatever and end up creating a larger monster.

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I was talking to a guy who said he had a drinking problem, and when I asked him why he drank, he said that it was because of issues with his father. He mentioned that his relationship was pretty rocky and that's why he drank.


Personally, I don't see the connection. Some of you maybe could enlighten me on this?

 

 

It's either an excuse he's been using for his drinking or there is a lot more to it.

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It's simple, drugs, or alcohol give a (hopefully) temporary escape from the reality of the problem.

 

Way too many people can't/won't deal with reality, they have to hide. It's amazing to see how many people really never learn to cope with anything less than a perfect situation.

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Exactly right. Could be learned behavior,emotional, economic, hereditary, physiological or a combination. One of the biggest problems (IMO) concerning alcohol is that it's legal. Makes it way tougher to kick when you can buy it anywhere without fear of arrest like drugs. Not that it's going to get out-lawed anytime soon but if it carried the same consequences as drugs SOME folks would find it a little easier to give up.

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I had a roommate who was going through a divorce and referred to her knocking back two double scotches and putting away a bottle of wine every night as "situational drinking".

 

 

sounds like a perfect candidate for SIIHP.....

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It's simple, drugs, or alcohol give a (hopefully) temporary escape from the reality of the problem. Unfortunately it can come at a severe price and is not actually an answer to the problem. A lot of people resort to this type of behavior as a means to deal with Mom or Dad or whatever and end up creating a larger monster.

 

 

Ding ding ding.

 

What's one of the top reasons a lot of people smoke/drink/drug?

 

To let off some steam, deal with stress, etc.

The solution becomes a crutch/thing they are dependent on, and presto..additcion.

 

Is that really such an odd concept?

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Ding ding ding.


What's one of the top reasons a lot of people smoke/drink/drug?


To let off some steam, deal with stress, etc.

The solution becomes a crutch/thing they are dependent on, and presto..additcion.


Is that really such an odd concept?

 

 

Exactly---That's why it kills me when I read someone who's opinion of drug/alcohol use is so casual. Everybody thinks they can control it and turn it on and off like a switch. Some can, some can't. The only way you find out is when it's too late.

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as someone who is dealing with an addict family member - i can tell you that the statement 'it only takes one time to be addicted' is true. no matter what the reason for the addiction (alcohol, drugs, sex, etc.) the addiction is the main disease once it takes hold. the brain center for certain chemicals (without getting REALLY technical) demands more of that chemical ... that's the addiction when the user can;t overcome that physical chemical demand.

 

what struck me this morning on my drive to work listening to the radio is ... how long humans have rushed to a chemical to alter their moods. 39% of teenagers smoke pot. 10% take ecstacy. an amazing percentage drink alcohol. and ... without doing an exact survey, how many people do you now who are on some sort of anti-depressant or other psychoactive presciption. my wife's 3 best friends are bi-polar, schizo, and manic ... their cocktails are amazing.

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I wonder how many ex-drunks we have on this forum maybe they can chime in from personal experience.

 

 

I had issues with my dad and the way I use to deal with it was put on my bathrobe and shades and play my guitar in the backyard.

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There is a lot to it. I was an "addict" before I ever drank or used. By that, I mean all the elements were in place-genetic pre-disposition to alcoholism (great granparents, grandparents, dad, mom, etc) broken home, poor self esteem, emotionally dysfunctional family, bla bla bla. And by the time I was 14, I was drinking. The first time drank, I did so alcoholically- I planned it, I lied about it, I drank to get drunk, I got sick and puked and felt like {censored} the next day, but by the time the neon came on I couldn't wait to do it again. and that became my MO for the next 9 years. I never knew when to stop. I drank until I blacked out, passed out or puked. I got into fights, lost relationships, lost of wrecked cars, and was perpetually broke, even though I at times held down two jobs.

I don't drink today, and haven't for 33 years. I know I can never successfully drink, because I'm still a compulsive personality. But it's okay, because I have no desire.

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I started the bar music scene when I was finishing up undergrad. So I went from bored kids drinking their faces off because "it's college, dude, that's what you do," to musicians way past the age of 21 drinking their faces off. So I just had this fantastical idea that it was on par with some standard of coolness, as if the guy that drinks the most is the "fun party animal." I didn't drink that much, but I thought I had to in order to keep up. It took some years and a lot of late-night bar-hopping excursions to realize the sad reasons that people actually binge-drink. All the people I knew that behaved like that either had a father figure missing from their lives, or they just learned the behavior from the last generation. And when you're pushing 30, 40, 50, and still getting wasted to ignore life, you're WAY beyond the stage of some young kid having a blast on Spring Break.

 

I don't do it anymore, but I understand why the problem exists.

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There is a lot to it. I was an "addict" before I ever drank or used. By that, I mean all the elements were in place-genetic pre-disposition to alcoholism (great granparents, grandparents, dad, mom, etc) broken home, poor self esteem, emotionally dysfunctional family, bla bla bla. And by the time I was 14, I was drinking. The first time drank, I did so alcoholically- I planned it, I lied about it, I drank to get drunk, I got sick and puked and felt like {censored} the next day, but by the time the neon came on I couldn't wait to do it again. and that became my MO for the next 9 years. I never knew when to stop. I drank until I blacked out, passed out or puked. I got into fights, lost relationships, lost of wrecked cars, and was perpetually broke, even though I at times held down two jobs.

I don't drink today, and haven't for 33 years. I know I can never successfully drink, because I'm still a compulsive personality. But it's okay, because I have no desire.

 

 

I dont really consider myself an addict ,, but more like a full throttle kind of guy. I like the ultimate effect. Like hank jr says ,, why do you drink,, To get drunk. Why do you roll smoke ,, to get stoned. Never had any problems quitting any of it. I am just a intense type A persons. I really dont think I will ever change it ,, I just change passions from time to time. The good thing is I know how to do alot of things well. Lots of people at the bar cant get the fact that I dont drink. I just say ,, Well Lets just say I know how to drink , i was good at it. I just dont get to consumed with my past demons. I just move on to new ones lol.

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