Jump to content

Why is it...


mockchoi

Recommended Posts

  • Members

 

If I have a bad performance, why do I not just feel bad, but I feel like an asshole?

 

 

Seriously though...in the scope of things how bad can a show be unless you crapped all over yourself? There's great shows and then there's regular ones where you blow a solo, your voice isn't awesome or you play a bit sloppy. Unfortunately the regular gigs far outway the awesome ones. Don't sweat it and hit the next one running.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

 

... I feel like an asshole

 

 

and remember the old saying, "you look as good as you feel"

 

seriously, I've had big performances that made me feel like driving off a bridge but when I heard the recordings everything was fine, it was all in my head.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

 

and remember the old saying, "you look as good as you feel"


seriously, I've had big performances that made me feel like driving off a bridge but when I heard the recordings everything was fine, it was all in my head.

 

 

And I've done gigs where everything seemed to go wrong...out of tune guitar, forgotten lyrics, dirty power... and had an audience member tell me I sounded great. Then again, I've finished what I thought was a great gig to have someone tell me it didn't quite sound right. It's always something.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

 

dirty power...

 

destroyed a festival gig for me, synths kept cycling off and on, I finally gave up and played bass guitar.

 

you know, the more I think about this topic, it is rather easy to take ownership and feel like an asshole over a bad gig, just like I take credit for and feel like a rock star from a good one.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

 

If I have a bad performance, why do I not just feel bad, but I feel like an asshole?

 

 

Because you care about what you're doing and you're emotionally invested in it. I'm much the same way. This summer, I did a show at a concert venue and we were the headlining band. Sound check was at 5; we didn't go on until after 9. My sax player used the opportunity to get hammered and besides playing a quarter step flat, forgetting arrangements and stepping on solos or going to bridges mid-verse, etc, he also lost the mouthpiece for his tenor and had to play the whole set on alto, transposing in his booze-filled head as he went. It was awful, lots of honking and screeching and so on. I died a little more with each passing song, and by the end I couldn't wait for it to be over. Lots of my friends and my family said it wasn't that bad, but it killed me and I too felt like an ass. Why? Because my name is on that band, not the sax player's. He was sorry and contrite the next day, but the damage had been done, both to my reputation and his chances of me keeping him around. I've used him since to fill out or contractual obligations, but I've soured on the whole band thing and I'm only booking solos now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

I was playing a pick up band wedding. We all knew each other but were in different bands. Good money, good players. I'm in. By and large the gig went very well. So, I'm asked to sing a song, I forget which. I'm playing bass. The guitarist and keyboardist both assure me they know it inside out. I recall the bass part, my part, being a pedal tone, not at all giving direction as to chord movement or anything. And I'm singing.

 

So, the middle of the day, the reception hall, I clearly remember all of this, had windows up by the ceiling. The place was bright. I could look into grandma's eyes. Uncle Bob and Aunt Betty's eyes as well. And the guitar and keys were somewhere else tonally.not a clue and all over searching. And for some reason insisting on not just dropping out. So my vocal pitch was.... wheeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All over the freaking place for god's sakes. For 4 minutes of HELL.

 

And the whole room, not just in my imagination, but the whole room looked up at me with a look of, "When's he going to stop making that awful sound with his mouth." It was humiliating and I felt like the largest asshole. Give me a gun now, I'll do myself right up here on stage. It wasn't bad. It was BAD.

 

It still shakes me years, I mean years later.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

 

Well I'm at least glad that it's not just me. I'm just trying to understand why something that in the whole scheme of things that is extremely small has such an emotional impact on me.

 

playing is not a small thing for me, it's my endorphin rush, my sanity check, and is the persona I am most comfortable presenting to the world. It's not about popularity or money, it's my addiction.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...