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Your "Other Half" Resents Negative Feedback


Sgt. Rock

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I tell it straight up! Did it last night, my partner fumbled during the first 5 songs of the night and then got with it, at the break I told him that he let us down, gotta focus, we are getting paid and must deliver every time, no excuses! I know he doesn't like it when I do this, but he also knows I am right!

 

There are to many musicians out there for me to waste time with people that don't want to take this seriously, I am to old for that {censored}!

 

Rod...in a pissy mood tonight...

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^Agreed...pick your fights. Minor flub, once, or rarely= no biggie, we are all human...constant screwups = issue. This is a major reason my last duo didn't go. I'm not a mind reader, and I don't work well with people who think playing under the influence makes them better...:rolleyes:

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Leilani and I make mistakes every day that we play, but most of the time we cover them up so the audience doesn't know it. If it's minor we ignore it.

 

If it's just a plain screw up that results in a train wreck, we will laugh about it on the way home. If the situation is right we'll even laugh about it with the audience (It's better to have them laugh with you than laugh at you).

 

We both know nobody did this on purpose, we both know we always try to do our best, we know we will try not to repeat it, and laughter is the best way to relieve the tension.

 

If it is something that happens with regularity we will use all the tact at our disposal and let the offender know that this needs more work.

 

And we never-ever give each other dirty looks on stage, no matter how bad the offense is. In fact, unless it cannot be ignored, we pretend not to notice. There is no reason to call attention to a screw up, the audience may not notice it at all.

 

Remember, what we do is called playing music.

 

The great Count Basie used to hire musicians more on their attitude than their technical chops. He knew that playing music should be fun, and he wanted musicians who would play for the fun of it.

 

And yes, Leilani is my spouse. She is also my best friend. I know I can say anything I want to her. I know she has pride in her performance and would want to know if something was off, but I also know from my own human nature that musicians have an artist's temperament. We are our art. Criticizing what we play/sing can be misinterpreted as criticizing the person who screwed up. So tact, laughter, and especially a light hearted attitude is essential. Do unto others gets a lot of value here.

 

I'd rather play with my partner than do a solo gig. Like many fun things, it's more fun when shared.

 

And yes we both take our jobs very seriously. We know why we are there and we know what we need to do to deliver. We also both have intense work ethics, and go over and above what is required to do the gig. But we also know that we are human, we have a book of about 500 songs (and growing) and it's impossible to be 100% on 100% of the time.

 

Insights and incites by Notes

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I half jokingly refer to my other half as "yoko" she's not a musician, and is the first to cut me off if I'm A: talking too much, B: playing something that isn't getting any traction, C: generally acting like a dumbass rock star. she's always right..........DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!

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And we never-ever give each other dirty looks on stage, no matter how bad the offense is. In fact, unless it cannot be ignored, we pretend not to notice. There is no reason to call attention to a screw up, the audience may not notice it at all.


Remember, what we do is called
playing
music.

 

 

I wish more people adopted this attitude. I have played with a few people over the years that would make faces if they screwed up, or they wouldn't turn their head but they would direct their eyes to look over at me when I made a flub or even musicians that laughed out loud onstage when I screwed up something that I simply ignored when THEY screwed up on a tune a few songs before mine. I guess the same courtesy isn't always given to others.

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I agree with Notes:

 

 

And we never-ever give each other dirty looks on stage, no matter how bad the offense is. In fact, unless it cannot be ignored, we pretend not to notice. There is no reason to call attention to a screw up, the audience may not notice it at all.

 

 

The audience wants to enjoy the song and your interaction on stage. They don't want to see you dissing each other. An outside-the-norm note is a variation; that, plus a lemon face is a mistake.

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Last Wednesday we did a benefit at the Veterans Administration hospital.

 

The very first notes of the very first song the wind synth screwed up. It somehow transposed itself to the wrong key. I reset everything, started the song again, and the same thing happened. We made a few jokes about computer control, re-booted the wind synth, the pedal, and the sound module, and got the audience to sympathize with us and laugh with us when I told them I will dock the pay of the computer that controls the wind synth voice.

 

From then on the show went smoothly, the Vets were extremely appreciative, and they asked us to come back often.

 

Though it was an equipment failure, we treat all 'train wrecks' that way. If you can get the audience to laugh with you instead of laugh at you, you've won. If it isn't a train wreck and they don't notice the mistake, why call attention to it?

 

Have fun and the audience will feel it.

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