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This REALLY sucks


nousername

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After meeting a couple potential singers via craigslist, I settled on one. She said was tired of karaoke, sings on key, has great stage presence, is very attractive, knew or at least liked almost every song I threw her way (including some obscure ****), and was excited enough after a couple rehearsals to buy her own mic and stand.

This morning she tells me that she isn't confident enough to pursue this kind of performing and wants to just do karaoke. I think something else is up, but there

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Try and try again, just a bump in the road....  Keep working on your own voice. I'm not great but I got much better with vocal exercises and just keeping at it. You have to strengthen it and that does take time, effort. Good luck!

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A vivid example of why so many of us like to do solos - at the very least as a back-up plan.

It does sound like she has talked to someone or had some kind of issues with being in a gig situation. Perhaps there was too much of an ongoing time commitment and/or perhaps she realized that while music is fun, it's also work - sometimes more work than fun.. After all, two songs at a Karaoke bar are much easier than a four hour, four set night. Maybe she took off her rose tinted glasses.

There could be other reasons she bailed as well, but there's no reason you shouldn't soldier on. There should be plenty of other singers around, and if not, then you can try it on your own. Start small and build your way up.

Disappointment is part of the performing arts biz. And if you think the music biz is bad, trying being an actor. I briefly tried my hand at that, long ago, and talk about mountains of lies and rejections. No wonder so many stars are messed up...

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Funny day for me. One girl singer emailed "I think that I should maybe wait until September to see what my work load is like and what-not. I'm finding I have a lot going on right now, .... etc." In other words, blah blah blah.

Then bumped into another that I'd given up on and she's all into it, she'll call me this week. We'll see, but it's nice to be pursued at least a little bit.

Lots of fish in the sea.

Keep your line out and you'll eventually catch what you're looking for. In the meantime, keep practising, keep getting better at what you do. But you do have to believe in yourself.

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Perhaps suggest a simple, informal practice session with no audience pressure. Keep it fun and once she sees how good it can sound and feel she may be more on board with it. Then after a few sessions you'll probably find you have the makings of your first set. Then you could perhaps suggest a private performance to family members and close friends as this would help your confidence as well...... something like a family BBQ. It's a bit of a softly, softly catch monkey thing. You'll get there.

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Speaking of informal practice sessions...

She texted me yesterday afternoon, apologizing for being a twit and asking if we can try again. I had some serious trepidations, so I took a bit to think about it. In the end, it would be silly to not even try.

We agreed to get together last night, and she brought the friend who convinced her to contact me again. We jumped right into Jolene with them trading off lead on each verse and singing harmonies on the chorus. WOW. They sound very good together. And for a first song at first rehearsal, it went very well.

We worked on a dozen other songs, too. Some went well, some not so well. I think there's hope for us, and that's exciting. I am still concerned she'll get the same doubt and insecurities, but with her friend right there it's possible she can help alleviate those thoughts.

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nousername wrote:

 

After meeting a couple potential singers via craigslist, I settled on one. She said was tired of karaoke, sings on key, has great stage presence, is very attractive, knew or at least liked almost every song I threw her way (including some obscure ****), and was excited enough after a couple rehearsals to buy her own mic and stand.

This morning she tells me that she isn't confident enough to pursue this kind of performing and wants to just do karaoke. I think something else is up, but there

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TIMKEYS wrote:

 

 

 

 

She may well have been just letting you down easy.   truth is if she  is a pro level kereoke singer she can make more money than a duo or band split on her own.   There is no reason for her to team up with you unless you are a solid back up singer that can play well.    A good pro track singer can make 150 and cut a duos throat and then get a hundred bucks in tips if they are  top performer.  Why have a BAND?

 

 

Or it could be kind of the opposite.  If she's not an experienced live performer, karaoke offers a great deal of "comfort" by providing the singer with full live tracks that sound just like the original recording and the lyrics flashing by on a screen with a light to guide you as to when to sing the words.

Coming out in a duo situation where the backing music is almost certain to be much more sparse and she's on her own for when and where to sing the lines,  would put a lot more pressure on her to carry the performance that she doesn't feel she's ready to do.  

Almost everyone in the world has gotten drunk enough to get up and sing a song along with a karaoke machine at some point in their life.  Few of those same people would be brave enough to do the same song with just an acoustic guitarist.  

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