Sideman woes

[Outkaster]

 

As some of you know I had a pretty successful band around here locally for almost 10 years.  We had a huge following, merchandise and had a big impact on the community . When everything went south last year with the singer it shook me really hard.  I almost had to get the cops involved with the singer but at any rate with some therapy and help from friends I have the energy back to go forward. I plan to bring my band back with new people but it will take time so in the meantime I am a sideman.  It’s strange I have fell into two original projects.  They do some covers but both artists have a number of albums on their own.   One is a horn band that is about and hour and a half away.  They rehearse once a month and have some shows booked. On the other end in western part of the state I am playing with a guy and a pretty good core of musicians which happened kind of by accident.  I sat in for a fund raiser and they hired me for some shows as they liked my playing.   In both cases people are very nice but I feel like a fish out of water.

 

On the one hand the horn band has some pretty good tunes but aren’t really keyboard friendly.  All the songs are in F minor and B flat minor.  Not impossible keys to play in but are a pain in the ass.   I feel like sometimes it’s tough to get parts in these tunes as they were not composed on piano.  Everyone’s nice enough but it’s tough to jump in to an already moving project.  I am learning 3 CDs of stuff and their covers.   The other band is Rock and Roll and some really good tunes and is a little bit easier as I am free to come up with parts.  I am learning material off 4 CDs of his stuff. 

 

One thing about having your own band is that you get to dictate small details that sometimes make 90% of the difference in your product. I was able to be hyper organized and it helped me propel my project forward. In both cases I can tell when a bass player doesn’t listen to a drummer or a guitarist that doesn’t listen to other musicians (big surprise there).  Or complaining about getting gigs which is weird.  It’s the easiest thing to do for me.   It’s a little hard to sit by and see problems in these bands that are not a big deal and can be solved easily.  I don’t say much as it isn’t my show but its hard to watch it unfold after my experience.  I try to take it for what it is but things don’t have to be that hard.

 

 

 

 

[DeepEnd]

The rock band seems like a better fit, at least imho. Maybe initially offer a small, tactful suggestion to whoever is in charge. If he/she doesn't seem receptive, then drop it.

[daddymack]

I have learned over the years that typically no one in the band wants to be 'the DICK'. So easily remedied things get left to fester, and things tend to unravel. I have been 'the DICK' a few times. The last time, the band lasted over 20 years.

[Outkaster]

Well I do know to stick up for myself. I wouldn't be passive aggressive.  Both bands have positives, it isn't all negative it's just hard to kind of sit by.

[daddymack]

On 4/28/2022 at 7:07 AM, Outkaster said:

Well I do know to stick up for myself. I wouldn't be passive aggressive.  Both bands have positives, it isn't all negative it's just hard to kind of sit by.

and it is fine, as a band member, to voice your opinion and make suggestions. The trick is timing and tactfulness...

[New Trail]

Just play in those bands as they need you, and how your schedule allows, until you get your own band back together.  Think of it as a learning experience.  If the situations allow, make recommendations to the band leaders about possible improvements that they can make to make their bands better.  IF they don't follow your recommendations don't worry about it, just play your parts as a good side man with the knowledge that you will soon have your own band up and going again.  Good Luck.

[Notes_Norton]

I expect my bandmates to be honest, whether they are complementing or criticizing me. But with a criticism, please make it specific, so I can fix it or defend it.

Don't say your vocals suck, say instead you are consistently flat on the bridge of _________

I could say I want to be flat to add tension to that note, or say, thank you, I didn't realize that, I'll work on it.

We all should be working towards an end product, and all opinions matter.

Also, an occasional mistake on stage is going to happen. Ignore it, laugh about it, but don't bitch about it.

 

Notes ♫

[daddymack]

after thinking this over a bit [for 8 months now]....as a sideman, a hired gun, as it were, I do what I'm told, I play my parts, I get my money and I go home. I do not feel obligated to fix their issues unless specifically asked.  It is a very different schtick than being a member of a band.

As to the horn band keys issue...get a keyboard with a transposer in it, and drop every thing a half step into Emi and Ami [lots of white keys!!]

[Notes_Norton]

I was a side man (sax for hire) with a band in the late 1970s.

No worries, until I showed up at the gig, and new people were there. The band that hired me got fired, and never told me. I had to chase them down to get my money. But for the months before that, it was a carefree gig. Show up, do my job, and get paid.

The lead was trying to be a Spanish cross between Jimmy Buffett and Elvis Presley. He was talented, but I think lacked taste. He ventured into dangerous territory with girls who came with dates from stage, and that peed off the regulars. I never found what got him fired.

I never heard from him again.

 

Notes ♫

[daddymack]

13 hours ago, Notes_Norton said:

I was a side man (sax for hire) with a band in the late 1970s.

No worries, until I showed up at the gig, and new people were there. The band that hired me got fired, and never told me. I had to chase them down to get my money. But for the months before that, it was a carefree gig. Show up, do my job, and get paid.

The lead was trying to be a Spanish cross between Jimmy Buffett and Elvis Presley. He was talented, but I think lacked taste. He ventured into dangerous territory with girls who came with dates from stage, and that peed off the regulars. I never found what got him fired.

I never heard from him again.

 

Notes ♫

That ain't right!

[Notes_Norton]

Agreed.