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isaac42

I am suddenly unhappy.

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I just talked to my younger brother. We had been talking about throwing a big party for Pop's birthday. He'll be 92, and such parties are a family tradition. But Pop said that 92 is not a "milestone" birthday, and we should wait for 95. I don't think he'll make it to 95. My brother, who sees him daily, doesn't think so, either. He doesn't think 93 is in the cards. Not sure why, but it hit me pretty hard.

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I just talked to my younger brother. We had been talking about throwing a big party for Pop's birthday. He'll be 92, and such parties are a family tradition. But Pop said that 92 is not a "milestone" birthday, and we should wait for 95.

 

I don't think he'll make it to 95.

 

My brother, who sees him daily, doesn't think so, either. He doesn't think 93 is in the cards.

 

Not sure why, but it hit me pretty hard.

 

It’s probably a good thing that he’s optimistic, anyway :philthumb:

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It’s probably a good thing that he’s optimistic' date=' anyway :philthumb:[/quote']

 

Can't hurt, right?

 

Anyway, I had a drink, and I've calmed down. I have to remember my stoic precepts, and not get upset about things that are beyond my control.

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My Mom is from the same generation. A lot of them can't fathom the concept of quitting. She made the most of her 97 years on this Earth. Sounds like your Dad is the same way.. :thu::cool2::philthumb:

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I just talked to my younger brother. We had been talking about throwing a big party for Pop's birthday. He'll be 92, and such parties are a family tradition. But Pop said that 92 is not a "milestone" birthday, and we should wait for 95.

 

I don't think he'll make it to 95.

 

My brother, who sees him daily, doesn't think so, either. He doesn't think 93 is in the cards.

 

Not sure why, but it hit me pretty hard.

 

Tuff call if he will make it to 93, or 95, or maybe ever 100.

 

I think part of the deal is wanting to make it.

 

My mother in law is 92

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Posted (edited)

Show up with a cake and a bottle. I doubt he'd turn them down.

Edited by hammergjh

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My Dad is 94 and his health is rapidly failing. He recently fell and is going to go to a assisted living facility. He's always telling me that he's ready to check out but he keeps hanging in. I tell his that for as long as he's here, it's my job to keep him comfortable. I just try to have quality time with him. Just do the same with your Dad.

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My stepmom just turned 90, and yes, we had a big party for her, private room at a local mexican restaurant...

 

She's still living in her two-story house, she has one of those 'stair lifts' but she trips and falls down every few months. Falls for old folks are potentially a BIG DEAL and can even be fatal under the wrong circumstances. At least she's decided to start using a walker. But she's stubborn and doesn't want to move into a "home"....

 

Watching your parents decline like that IS depressing, no two ways about it. I try to use those memories as motivation to take care of my own health, so I'll be around to take care of my daughter.

 

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Tuff call if he will make it to 93, or 95, or maybe ever 100.

 

I think part of the deal is wanting to make it.

 

My mother in law is 92

 

And I'm not sure he does. He's outlived all of his friends, and all of his family of his generation. He didn't want to have the bypass surgery, but he went ahead and did it. I think that was because he felt he needed to stick around to take care of Mom, but Mom passed a year ago. I think he feels that he's done everything he needed to do. The only thing left, maybe, is actually living to be 100, but I dont think he cares about that.

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Show up with a cake and a bottle. I doubt he'd turn them down.

 

No, he wouldn't. My brothers will take him out for pizza and beer on his birthday. I'll stay up here and play a gig, and give him a call from the venue.

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My Dad is 94 and his health is rapidly failing. He recently fell and is going to go to a assisted living facility. He's always telling me that he's ready to check out but he keeps hanging in. I tell his that for as long as he's here' date=' it's my job to keep him comfortable. I just try to have quality time with him. Just do the same with your Dad.[/quote']

 

My younger brother lives right across the alley from him. Checks in on him every day, usually twice. Does all he can to keep him comfortable. He figures that he'll be the one to find Pop when he does check out, and he's probably right.

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I lived with my father when his health started declining. He died just over a year ago at 93. Forget 'milestones'...at that age every day is a milestone.

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I know I'll never hit those lofty numbers. Not gonna happen.

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And I'm not sure he does. He's outlived all of his friends, and all of his family of his generation. He didn't want to have the bypass surgery, but he went ahead and did it. I think that was because he felt he needed to stick around to take care of Mom, but Mom passed a year ago. I think he feels that he's done everything he needed to do. The only thing left, maybe, is actually living to be 100, but I dont think he cares about that.

 

From his perspective, the world must be a lonely place. Having your kids around is a plus I'm sure,

but you have no one left you can relate to. :(

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it is all wired into our existence to suffer loss

or so it seems..

 

 

unless one dies young

 

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it is all wired into our existence to suffer loss

or so it seems..

 

 

unless one dies young

 

And then, you leave behind people like my father.

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You could always go to DeepEnd’s church, they appear “happy”. :wave:

 

 

They appear to be on the verge of dancing, at least :whisper:

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my father croaked/died I wast only 7, me mum be 90 in June.mixed genetics have I

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You could always go to DeepEnd’s church, they appear “happy”. :wave:

 

 

They appear to be on the verge of dancing, at least :whisper:

 

It's okay. I'm feeling better now.

 

Besides, if I started going to his church, we might get into a battle over praise band positions!

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My mother in law with be 93 this year. Buried a couple of her kids, and has outlived all her brothers and sisters. She now lives with my sister in law. I am grateful she doesn't live with me.

 

 

 

My wife talks to her every day.

 

 

 

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My mother in law with be 93 this year. Buried a couple of her kids, and has outlived all her brothers and sisters. She now lives with my sister in law. I am grateful she doesn't live with me.

 

 

 

My wife talks to her every day.

 

 

 

it is good for relationships to talk...

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praise band positions?

 

I might need to displace whoever is playing bass.

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I might need to displace whoever is playing bass.

 

I assume makes an ass of u and me

do you collaborate via email?

 

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I assume makes an ass of u and me

do you collaborate via email?

 

As in writing songs or recording? I haven't done, but have no objection to giving it a try.

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As in writing songs or recording? I haven't done, but have no objection to giving it a try.

 

what is average file size limit of email? stems be couple mb each?

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what is average file size limit of email? stems be couple mb each?

 

I have no idea. Bandleader for one of my bands uses a file sharing app.

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Sorry I'm late to this thread. Yeah, it sucks watching parents decline. Mojo coming your way.

 

My younger brother lives right across the alley from him. Checks in on him every day' date=' usually twice. Does all he can to keep him comfortable. He figures that he'll be the one to find Pop when he does check out, and he's probably right.[/quote']

I checked on mom once a week and took her out to lunch toward the end. We live 60 miles away and I couldn't go more often. I finally found her lying on the kitchen floor. She lasted about another two weeks. :(

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You could always go to DeepEnd’s church, they appear “happy”. :wave:

 

 

They appear to be on the verge of dancing, at least :whisper:

I doubt Isaac would be willing to commute from Oregon to Missouri just to be in a small time praise band, especially with him being an atheist and all. then again, ya never know. ;)

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I might need to displace whoever is playing bass.

Could we talk you into playing guitar? ;) OTOH, Larry, our current bass player, also plays trumpet. Maybe we could work something out.

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what is average file size limit of email? stems be couple mb each?

Depends on the email service. There's always Google Drive, DropBox, or something similar.

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Sorry I'm late to this thread. Yeah, it sucks watching parents decline. Mojo coming your way.

 

 

I checked on mom once a week and took her out to lunch toward the end. We live 60 miles away and I couldn't go more often. I finally found her lying on the kitchen floor. She lasted about another two weeks. :(

 

Yeah, I'm 200 miles away. Casual drop in is out of the question.

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Could we talk you into playing guitar? ;) OTOH' date=' Larry, our current bass player, also plays trumpet. Maybe we could work something out.[/quote']

 

For what it's worth, I'm a better singer than I am a bass player, and a better bass player than I am a guitarist. And I'm really out of practice on guitar, on top of that. And then there's the fact that I'm an atheist...

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For what it's worth' date=' I'm a better singer than I am a bass player, and a better bass player than I am a guitarist. And I'm really out of practice on guitar, on top of that. And then there's the fact that I'm an atheist...[/quote']

Details, details. ;)

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Posted (edited)

My stoopid oldest brother convinced our Mom to move close to his vacation house over a 100 miles away from the family. It was a sudden thing and most of us were against it. Okay, it was in a resort area and, for a time, our Mom had lots of visitors . . . .mostly to take advantage of staying at her place for free in what turned out years later to be an expensive resort area. :facepalm:

 

She got wise to people using her for that purpose and clamped down on the over night stays. The relatives suddenly had no interest in visiting her. She was pissed, but it didn't really phase her for the most part, as people had shown their true colors.

 

My brother eventually sold his place in that area and so she had no close relatives anymore. In her declining years, with cancer, I was the only relative visiting her on a regular basis. I was her caretaker for all her affairs. My stoopid brothers couldn't be bothered with her, as she was "so far away" from the family. I stayed with her to take care of her, but I was also driving 300 mile round trips several times a week, as I needed to take care of my own house. She was in and out of hospitals and nursing homes, due to her medical needs. They were bad experiences. No question about it. Hospital staff even stole money from her. :facepalm: She made me promise to let her stay in her own home and not go back to the nursing home. I honored her wishes. I brought in hospice care for her. It was fiercely expensive, but I wanted her to live her remaining months on her own terms, which she did.

Edited by Cornholio Farquarth III

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Pop may be getting close to that, but he's not there yet.

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My stoopid oldest brother convinced our Mom to move close to his vacation house over a 100 miles away from the family. It was a sudden thing and most of us were against it. Okay, it was in a resort area and, for a time, our Mom had lots of visitors . . . .mostly to take advantage of staying at her place for free in what turned out years later to be an expensive resort area. :facepalm:

 

She got wise to people using her for that purpose and clamped down on the over night stays. The relatives suddenly had no interest in visiting her. She was pissed, but it didn't really phase her for the most part, as people had shown their true colors.

 

My brother eventually sold his place in that area and so she had no close relatives anymore. In her declining years, with cancer, I was the only relative visiting her on a regular basis. I was her caretaker for all her affairs. My stoopid brothers couldn't be bothered with her, as she was "so far away" from the family. I stayed with her to take care of her, but I was also driving 300 mile round trips several times a week, as I needed to take care of my own house. She was in and out of hospitals and nursing homes, due to her medical needs. They were bad experiences. No question about it. Hospital staff even stole money from her. :facepalm: She made me promise to let her stay in her own home and not go back to the nursing home. I honored her wishes. I brought in hospice care for her. It was fiercely expensive, but I wanted her to live her remaining months on her own terms, which she did.[/QUOT

 

You doing OK now?

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Posted (edited)
My stoopid oldest brother convinced our Mom to move close to his vacation house over a 100 miles away from the family. It was a sudden thing and most of us were against it. Okay, it was in a resort area and, for a time, our Mom had lots of visitors . . . .mostly to take advantage of staying at her place for free in what turned out years later to be an expensive resort area. :facepalm:

 

She got wise to people using her for that purpose and clamped down on the over night stays. The relatives suddenly had no interest in visiting her. She was pissed, but it didn't really phase her for the most part, as people had shown their true colors.

 

My brother eventually sold his place in that area and so she had no close relatives anymore. In her declining years, with cancer, I was the only relative visiting her on a regular basis. I was her caretaker for all her affairs. My stoopid brothers couldn't be bothered with her, as she was "so far away" from the family. I stayed with her to take care of her, but I was also driving 300 mile round trips several times a week, as I needed to take care of my own house. She was in and out of hospitals and nursing homes, due to her medical needs. They were bad experiences. No question about it. Hospital staff even stole money from her. :facepalm: She made me promise to let her stay in her own home and not go back to the nursing home. I honored her wishes. I brought in hospice care for her. It was fiercely expensive, but I wanted her to live her remaining months on her own terms, which she did.[/QUOT

 

You doing OK now?

 

Thanks for asking. All good. I spent lots of time with my Mom and carried out all her wishes to a T. Everything was in writing, witnessed, and notarized, so that no one could legitimately challenge anything. She was able to go in peace knowing that everything was well in hand. I was also at peace, satisfied that she felt in control of everything and had no worries as she passed on.

Edited by Cornholio Farquarth III

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Good to hear.

 

My father put everything into writing several years ago, establishing a family trust that dictates who gets what in pretty good detail.

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who gets what

 

All spelled out. The big stuff, anyway.

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My wife and I did a will last year. It didn't cost that much. My buddy Jeff is a lawyer and grew up next to me as a kid. He said you really do need a will, but my wife wanted it. So I signed some paper work and wrote out a check. I have no kids and my wife has one son.

 

The business law firm we use was a little costly. Up until like a year and a half ago, my wife's name wasn't even on the house. Technically she didn't even own a car.

 

I just hope to outlive my pets.

 

My wife's mom is 93 this year. She's not without health issues, but she lives with my wife's younger sister, Thank god. My wife is going ti visit her tomorrow.

 

Me: I hope to never have to go into nursing home care, unless they are giving free lap dances.

 

 

I saw my dad yesterday. I took Luka too. My dad has seen Luka a few times, but this the first time I took him to his house. If I don't see my dad, talk to him on the phone every week.

 

My dad wanted to take Luka outside for a walk. They ended up playing in the yard.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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