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tony333

Time Will Tell

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Wrote this over the last couple days. Have a melody in my head. Just need to work out, refine and record. Some places sing a little "stumbly" but that usually works itself out when I start recording and singing it out loud. Let me know what you think-

 

Time Will Tell

 

Randall was a good man

Lived out on the coast

All he wanted from his life

Was a chance to be the most

 

Part time at the Circle K

Making coffee overnights

Spent his time inside his head

Waiting for morning light

 

He dreamed of all the places

He had seen on his TV

The whole world seemed so far away

And this ain't living free

 

The last piece to his puzzle

Was someone to walk beside

Someone he could call his own

Someone to run and hide

 

No one ever notices

When time is standing still

Dare to take that leap of faith

Rekon they never will

 

Only time will tell

If any dreams come true

I'll just hold on to the one

Made for me and you

 

 

Lisa was a wild one

Hitch hiked to the coast

Shoes and shirt upon her back

And belief in the Holy Ghost

 

A Midwest farmers daughter

She never had to try

Blue streak in her bleach blond hair

Deep green summer eyes

 

She knew she was a actress

Just needed her big break

Work like hell to earn her keep

The rest she'll just take

 

The only thing was missing

Is someone to hold her tight

Someone to whisper in her ear

"Everything will be alright."

 

No one ever notices

When time is standing still

Dare to take that leap of faith

Rekon they never will

 

Only time will tell

If any dreams come true

I'll just hold on to the one

Made for me and you

 

She came in through the front door

Bell announced her time

Smiled at Randall sitting there

Headed for a box of wine

 

Wine up on the counter

Menthols from display

Swipes her card, smiles again

"Hope you have a nice day."

 

No one ever notices

When time is standing still

Dare to take that leap of faith

Maybe they never will

 

Only time will tell

If any dreams come true

I'll just hold on to the one

Made for me and you

 

 

Randall grins and shakes his head

Afraid to face his fears

Another glance up at the clock

Lisa just disappears

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by tony333

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So edit done. I think I got all the bugs and fat out. The "work like hell..." line is a little weak IMO. But the rest I really like. Sings well to with the melody in my head. Simple chord progression. Hope to get recorded after the holidays, if the world doesn't explode before then.

 

Randall is a good man

Lives out on the coast

All he's wanted from his life

Is a chance to be the most

 

But it's part time at the Circle K

Making coffee overnights

Spends his time inside his head

Waiting on morning light

 

He dreams of all the places

He has seen on his TV

Whole world seems so far away

And this ain't living free

 

The last piece to his puzzle

Would be someone to walk beside

Someone he could call his own

Someone to run and hide

 

No one ever notices

When time is standing still

Dare to take that leap of faith

Maybe they never will

 

Only time will tell

If any dreams come true

I'll just hold on to the one

Made for me and you

 

 

Lisa is a wild one

Hitch hiked to the coast

Shoes and shirt upon her back

And belief in the Holy Ghost

 

A Midwest farmers daughter

She never had to try

Blue streak in her bleach blond hair

Deep green summer eyes

​​​​​​

​​​Sure she should be famous

Just needs her one big break

Yearns to see her name in lights

No matter what it takes

 

The only thing she's missing

Is someone to hold her tight

Someone to whisper in her ear

"Everything will be alright."

 

No one ever notices

When time is standing still

Dare to take that leap of faith

Maybe they never will

 

Only time will tell

If any dreams come true

I'll just hold on to the one

Made for me and you

 

She came in through the front door

Bell cut through the time

Smiled at Randall sitting there

Headed for a box of wine

 

Wine up on the counter

Menthols from display

Swipes her card, smiles again

"Hope you have a nice day."

 

No one ever notices

When time is standing still

Dare to take that leap of faith

Maybe they never will

 

Only time will tell

If any dreams come true

I'll just hold on to the one

Made for me and you

 

 

Randall grins and shakes his head

Afraid to face his fears

Another glance up at the clock

Lisa just disappears

Edited by tony333

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I like what you've started a lot - very "Donald and Lydia" - but it seems unfinished.

 

How many rewrites have you done so far? It usually takes me a few dozen passes to get to where a song starts to sound finished.

 

My first drafts get down the basic idea and take about ten minutes to write. Then I go work on them, and that takes a lot more time and thought. I don't aim at Good - that's for others to decide. I aim at Done - that's for me to decide.

 

I had a teacher who studied writing under Raymond Carver at the Iowa Writers Workshop. When a student had something good going that wasn't quite fthere, Carver would say "Run it through the typewriter one more time."

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Thank you for the feedback. This is the 3rd or 4th stab at this one. Once I start singing it I am sure there are some phrasings or words that will have to change.

 

I am not sure about "unfinished". I feel like if I were to another verse or a few more lines, it would take it to a place that becomes to lengthy and wordy. I like the "story" as it is.

 

I know my "process" isn't normal but I always start with the words and then fit the melody around them. I also have never sat down to write a song. They kinda come from this unknown place and I just ride the wave. I have tried before but they always get scrapped and sound forced. Good thing I have a day job. Ha!

 

 

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Thank you for the feedback. This is the 3rd or 4th stab at this one. Once I start singing it I am sure there are some phrasings or words that will have to change. . . .

That's exactly how I do it. Play it, fix something, play it, fix something . . . .

 

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So I have gotten to where I think it should be. I really like it. If I can ever get everyone out of the house I will get it recorded

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. . . If I can ever get everyone out of the house I will get it recorded

That's ALWAYS the problem!

 

 

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