I love you inside out

[Irwin abrigo]

Your feedback will be very much appreciated.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NM_n3a8jcd0

 

 

I love you inside out

©2014 Irwin Abrigo

 

- (Verse 1)

today is your day

I wanna do things your way

Lift the spirit high

and make it a special day

Tonight will come a live

I'm gonna lay at your side

And we'll be making love

Just like the first time

 

- (Chorus)

You're a special lady

and I love you only

I'll give my heart and soul

unto you baby

There ain't nothing I wouldn't do

for you

And in my heart there ain't no doubt

I'm the one who loves you inside out

 

- (Verse 2)

Honey it's okay

I wanna to know your wishes

Your wish is my command

I'll do what you say

Tonight we'll light a fire

I'm gonna take you higher

Hold you in my arms

Like I've hold no other

 

- (Chorus)

You're a special lady

and I love you only

I'll give my heart and soul

unto you baby

There ain't nothing I wouldn't do

for you

And in my heart there ain't no doubt

I'm the one who loves you inside out

- -

 

Inside out there ain't no doubt

There ain't no doubt that I'm the one

I'm the one who loves you you know It's true

You know I do and I care for you

Truly you have proven

With no doubt

I'm the one, who loves you

inside out

I love you inside out

Inside out...

 

You're a special one

You're special to me

Oh baby !

I wanna spend the rest of my life

With you....

Inside out there ain't no doubt

There ain't no doubt that I'm the one

I'm the one who loves you you know It's true

Ooh I love you inside, inside, inside out.

[rhino55]

This is a good start.

 

I'd try and work in more specific examples, and maybe come up with some more interesting rhymes. Day/way, fire/higher, true/you are all tired rhymes and right now, it feels like they are driving the story.

 

Online rhyming dictionaries can be really valuable tools to have handy. Rhyme zone is a good one. You can also just google "rhymes with ??????" and you'll usually get a couple of sites.

 

 

[rickidoo]

This song put me in tears, applying it to a special someone who was once in my life.

 

I love the first verse. Home run. (Note: I can’t write lyrics worth s%$%, but I know when lyrics grab me. They first verse is a home run. )

 

In the chorus, I think I know what you mean about “..loves you inside out” – you love the inner person first, then the rest following. I am not sure how I feel about that term “inside out” however, if only because it is such an overly used term – been around for a long, long time. And it can carry more meanings than the one applied in this song. But admittingly I am on the fence about it.

 

Musically, I like the tune and the core of the music a lot. It’s very professional. The orchestration feels a little dated, 80 ish stuff. But that’s orchestration – and orchestration, as important as that is, is just window dressing. It can be changed.

 

I respectfully disagree with rhino on fire/higher – while he’s right about the previous common use, but in this case, I don’t care – it works magically in this song and fits the emotion perfectly.

 

The true/you thing… it doesn’t bother me per say, but it’s not hitting any home runs, specifically: :

====================================

I'm the one who loves you you know It's true

You know I do and I care for you

====================

… I wish these two lines had more emotional oomph. They kinda come and go in the song and although they are sung with good emotion, the words themselves seem a little, ah.., vanilla.

 

So to recap – the song certainly grabbed me out of the gate, but if a few of the inner parts can be buffed up a bit, that would be good.

 

Best,

 

Rick

[Irwin abrigo]

This is a good start.

 

I'd try and work in more specific examples, and maybe come up with some more interesting rhymes. Day/way, fire/higher, true/you are all tired rhymes and right now, it feels like they are driving the story.

 

Online rhyming dictionaries can be really valuable tools to have handy. Rhyme zone is a good one. You can also just google "rhymes with ??????" and you'll usually get a couple of sites.

 

 

Thanks for listening to my song. You have made some interesting comments and I am taking them very seriously. I am glad you made mention of the Online rhyming dictionaries because I will go check them out.

 

Thank agian

 

Irwin

[nat whilk II]

You've got a super-nice voice and delivery. The tune is very standard material, very well performed. How to improve it? Well, it depends on maybe on what you plan to do with it. It's not going to capture young people's attention, at least young people here in the USA. But there are a lot of older people - maybe people who grew up on Michael Jackson - who would like this very much. So it's what we would call Adult Contemporary music - comfortable, well-made music that doesn't take much of a risk. Similar to the Christian music genre in the USA. As Adult Contemporary music, it's quite good. As something that sounds fresh and innovative and individualistic - not particularly.

 

If I was going to produce your type of material, I'd try to listen to material that is currently successful and try to find some ideas to make my material sound as up-to-date as possible. That's the best way to get people's attention.

 

Good work - keep it up!

 

nat whilk ii

 

 

 

 

 

[mbfrancis]

Hey Irwin, thanks for posting. This is a cool song. I really like the orchestrations, and your voice is nice. Musically this has a lot of potential. I have two challenges with it:

 

First, I think your chorus is too close to your verse musically. They sound exactly the same, just slightly differently melodically, so the song has no real movement, change, and momentum, and for me it gets boring.

 

The other big problem I have is the lyric - a lot of your lines are saying things we have heard 1000 times in other lyrics. A lot of cliches here. The challenge with lyrics is to do one of two things: either 1) say something new, or 2) say something in a new way. If you can't do one of those, people will get bored quickly and change the station. (Even your title is already used by the Bee Gees.) Not sure what advice I can give you - use a thesaurus, rhyme dictionary, explore creative metaphors, use more descriptive nouns. All you are really saying is "I really love you a lot"... and if that's it then you need to find creative ways to say it.

 

Hope this helps.

[LCK]

Your feedback will be very much appreciated.

 

Nice tune.

 

 

[Irwin abrigo]

This song put me in tears, applying it to a special someone who was once in my life.

 

I love the first verse. Home run. (Note: I can’t write lyrics worth s%$%, but I know when lyrics grab me. They first verse is a home run. )

 

In the chorus, I think I know what you mean about “..loves you inside out” – you love the inner person first, then the rest following. I am not sure how I feel about that term “inside out” however, if only because it is such an overly used term – been around for a long, long time. And it can carry more meanings than the one applied in this song. But admittingly I am on the fence about it.

 

Musically, I like the tune and the core of the music a lot. It’s very professional. The orchestration feels a little dated, 80 ish stuff. But that’s orchestration – and orchestration, as important as that is, is just window dressing. It can be changed.

 

I respectfully disagree with rhino on fire/higher – while he’s right about the previous common use, but in this case, I don’t care – it works magically in this song and fits the emotion perfectly.

 

The true/you thing… it doesn’t bother me per say, but it’s not hitting any home runs, specifically: :

====================================

I'm the one who loves you you know It's true

You know I do and I care for you

====================

… I wish these two lines had more emotional oomph. They kinda come and go in the song and although they are sung with good emotion, the words themselves seem a little, ah.., vanilla.

 

So to recap – the song certainly grabbed me out of the gate, but if a few of the inner parts can be buffed up a bit, that would be good.

 

Best,

 

Rick

 

Thank you Rick you have said a lot and I take it very seriously. Thanks for your input.

 

Irwin

[Irwin abrigo]

You've got a super-nice voice and delivery. The tune is very standard material, very well performed. How to improve it? Well, it depends on maybe on what you plan to do with it. It's not going to capture young people's attention, at least young people here in the USA. But there are a lot of older people - maybe people who grew up on Michael Jackson - who would like this very much. So it's what we would call Adult Contemporary music - comfortable, well-made music that doesn't take much of a risk. Similar to the Christian music genre in the USA. As Adult Contemporary music, it's quite good. As something that sounds fresh and innovative and individualistic - not particularly.

 

If I was going to produce your type of material, I'd try to listen to material that is currently successful and try to find some ideas to make my material sound as up-to-date as possible. That's the best way to get people's attention.

 

Good work - keep it up!

 

nat whilk ii

 

 

 

 

 

PRODUCER NEEDED;

 

The singer and myself ( the song writer) we are looking for a producer to work with us on our next song.

 

[Irwin abrigo]

Hey Irwin, thanks for posting. This is a cool song. I really like the orchestrations, and your voice is nice. Musically this has a lot of potential. I have two challenges with it:

 

First, I think your chorus is too close to your verse musically. They sound exactly the same, just slightly differently melodically, so the song has no real movement, change, and momentum, and for me it gets boring.

 

The other big problem I have is the lyric - a lot of your lines are saying things we have heard 1000 times in other lyrics. A lot of cliches here. The challenge with lyrics is to do one of two things: either 1) say something new, or 2) say something in a new way. If you can't do one of those, people will get bored quickly and change the station. (Even your title is already used by the Bee Gees.) Not sure what advice I can give you - use a thesaurus, rhyme dictionary, explore creative metaphors, use more descriptive nouns. All you are really saying is "I really love you a lot"... and if that's it then you need to find creative ways to say it.

 

Hope this helps.

 

Thanks mbfrancis, the things you have said above is of great help to me.

 

I really appreciate you taking the time out to listen to my song and using some of your time to comment the way you have commented.

 

Irwin

 

[Irwin abrigo]

 

Nice tune.

 

 

Hi LCK, Thank you.

[Delmont]

This is a good start.

 

Yup, Irwin is hot on the trail.

 

I'd try and work in more specific examples,

 

Yup. I'm a big fan of concrete images and situations. You can't say a feeling.

 

and maybe come up with some more interesting rhymes. Day/way, fire/higher, true/you are all tired rhymes and right now, it feels like they are driving the story.

 

That's one way to look at it. Another is that common rhyme combinations are fine as long as the lines themselves say something out of the ordinary. So that's something else Irwin can think about.

 

Online rhyming dictionaries can be really valuable tools to have handy. Rhyme zone is a good one. You can also just google "rhymes with ??????" and you'll usually get a couple of sites.

 

But be careful! Too often, people using rhyming dictionaries, thesauruses, and other crutches end up using words that don't really advance their songs. The main prerequisite for a songwriter is an imagination. I'm sure Irwin can come up with a couple dozen rhymes for fire without breaking a sweat.

 

 

Del

http://www.thefullertons.net

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