when love comes dancing by

[Lane1777]

this verse and chorus is a quick write, I think something can be saved here,

[ or used ]

 

any one wants to jump in this its all ok with me. might not be your style

these are very short and simple.

 

 

1.To all the hearts that are broken,

for every love un-spoken.

Theres is something deep inside you

something We hold on to...

 

chorus

that little fear,when your all alone,

the last good-by

when a love is over.

 

your restless heart

its hope inside

the chance again

when love comes dancing by

 

I started the voice track here, verse is the same, and you can hear what I was doing with the bridge.

 

 

 

2.To all the hearts that are broken

every chance never taken

the fear of starting over

there is something We can`t let go of..

 

chorus

that little fear,when your all alone,

the last good-by

when a love is over.

 

your restless heart

its hope inside

the chance again

when love comes dancing by

 

when love comes dancing by

 

bridge

love is that everyday miracle

we all hope to find.

but....finding love unconditional..

once you cross that line.

 

chorus

that little fear,when your all alone,

that last good-by

when a love is over.

 

your restless heart

its hope inside

that chance again

when love comes dancing by

 

love comes dancing by........Vincent

[Lane1777]

ok this is the music track if you want to hear it all, I can picth this a bit lower key if you need.

[stickboymusic]

This is very nice again

 

Can i suggest (for a better partial rhyme)

 

that little fear,when your all alone,

the last good-by

when YOUR love HAS GONE

[rhino55]

Good stuff. I like the idea of 'love comes dancing by.' I think incorporating some dancing imagery in other spots would make it even stronger.

 

Two spots that I thought needed attention are

 

1) 'every chance not taken' I like where it's going, but I wanted a tighter rhyme. I realize broken is a tough one. Some ideas that I think you could tie into a dancing are frozen, chosen, motion.

 

2) 'once you cross that line' I'm not sure what this is supposed to mean. 'Cross that line' is kind of vague without more context. It could mean a lot of different things, and sometimes that's what people want, but with your style, I think plain words say what you mean is the way to go, especially in the bridge.

[Lane1777]

hi sbm,, that sound ok, I`ll write that in and do another little track so we can hear what that sounds like. I like that thought. your name goes on it! lol

 

 

[Lane1777]

hey rhino, I agree, I think the whole thing needs work, maybe the second verse completely re written it comes so close to the first verse, I almost think people will think I`m just repeating .. dump that word "broken

 

once you cross that line...I was going from friendship to that love thing was my thought. write it rhino! your name goes on it...lol

 

I`ll try to get it all together after a re-write and do a little track, or whoever wants to, I`ll send the music and yall do it..

 

I liked the thought of that line too rhino. 'love comes dancing by.' can`t remember where that came from..most stuff comes from other people saying something to me, or sharing a story.

 

ok, I`ll set this in here for now.

 

 

1.To all the hearts out there waiting

for every love anticipating

There is something deep inside you [ this 1 verse was the idea from "rhino55"

something We hold on to...

 

chorus

 

that little fear,when your all alone,

the last good-by

when your love has gone [ this chorus is "stickboymusic ]

 

your restless heart

its hope inside

the chance again

when love comes dancing by.

 

I`ll be back with more...

[Lane1777]

1.To all the hearts out there waiting

for every love anticipating

There is something deep inside you [ this 1 verse was the idea from "rhino55"

something We hold on to...

 

chorus

 

that little fear,when your all alone,

the last good-by

when your love has gone [ this chorus is "stickboymusic ]

 

your restless heart

its hope inside

the chance again

when love comes dancing by.

 

I`ll be back with more...

[Lane1777]

2.To all the hearts that are broken

every chance never taken

the fear of starting over

there is something We can`t let go of..[changed this]

 

 

once yo cross that line...[changed this]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

stick boy

 

 

This is very nice again

 

Can i suggest (for a better partial rhyme)

 

that little fear,when your all alone,

the last good-by

when YOUR love HAS GONE

 

 

 

 

 

rino

 

Good stuff. I like the idea of 'love comes dancing by.'

I think incorporating some dancing imagery in other spots would make it even stronger.

 

Two spots that I thought needed attention are

 

1) 'every chance not taken' I like where it's going, but I wanted a tighter rhyme.

I realize broken is a tough one. Some ideas that I think you could tie into a dancing are frozen, chosen, motion.

 

2) 'once you cross that line' I'm not sure what this is supposed to mean.

'Cross that line' is kind of vague without more context. It could mean a lot of different things,

and sometimes that's what people want, but with your style, I think plain words say what you mean is the way to go,

especially in the bridge.

 

...=============================================== ============

re-write

 

 

1.To all the hearts that are broken,

for every love un-spoken.

Theres is something deep inside you

something We hold on to...

 

chorus

that little fear,when your all alone,

the last good-by

when a love has gone.

 

your restless heart

its hope inside

the chance again

when love comes dancing by

 

I started the voice track here, verse is the same, and you can hear what I was doing with the bridge.

 

 

 

 

2.To all the hearts out there waiting

every love anticipating

There is something deep inside you [ this 1 verse was the idea from "rhino55" [i changed it all,

dumped "broken]

something We hold on to....[or something we never let go of] [that one thing we can`t let go of]

 

chorus

that little fear,when your all alone,

the last good-by

when a love has gone..

 

your restless heart

its hope inside

the chance again

when love comes dancing by

 

when love comes dancing by

 

bridge

love is that everyday miracle

we all hope to find.

but....finding love unconditional..

[you better hold on tight] [its one hell-of-a-ride]

 

chorus

that little fear,when your all alone,

that last good-by

when a love is over.

 

your restless heart

its hope inside

that chance again

when love comes dancing by

 

love comes dancing by........Vincent