Members rickidoo Posted January 30, 2015 Members Share Posted January 30, 2015 UPDATED VERSION 1 Feb 2015 - all comments welcome I Won’t Let You Down© 2015 Richard Dieffenbach and Phil Burton I will neverI will never let you downWhen you need a friend, to pick you upCall me, and I’ll come ‘roundI won’t let you down Don’t you everDon’t you ever feel aloneJust call on me, when you need someoneWhen your birds have flownI won’t let you down Just remember that I careLift up that phone, say the word, and soon I will be thereI won’t let you down============BRIDGEOut on your own, making life on your terms You’re never alone, you can always call me====================I won’t everI won’t ever walk awayIf darkness falls, and all seems lostJust call me any dayI won’t let you down I won’t let yaI won’t ever let you downDon’t forget the love, we have sharedI won’t let you downI won’t let you down Any and all comments welcome. Song in development. I know I know the lyrics.... If the Tijuana Brass had a baby with James Taylor, it might turn out to be.... I Won’t Let You Down©2015 Rick Dieffenbach I won’t let 'yaI won’t ever let you downWhen you need a friend, a helping handCall me, and I’ll come ‘roundI won’t let you down When there’s sadnessand the sunny sky turns grayAnd the people who once, "liked" your postsslow’ly fade awayI won’t let you down Just remember that I careLift up that phone, message me and soon I will be thereI won’t let you down ============BRIDGEOut on your own, making life on your termsYou’re never alone, you can always call me==================== Don’t you everDon’t you ever feel aloneJust call on me when you need someoneI’ll come home I will neverI would never let you downDon’t forget the love we have sharedI won’t let you downI won’t let you down Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted January 30, 2015 Members Share Posted January 30, 2015 Great stuff Rick - I loved it musically - even listened to it twice.Yes - the lyric doesn't run shoulder to shoulder with the quality of the music, but the music sure carries it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted January 30, 2015 Members Share Posted January 30, 2015 I LOOOOOVE this! The track is so playful and creative, and your bass playing is tremendous. The only thing I didn't care for was the ending. Too quick, and too soon. I wanted more. Also, the lines after the bridge fell short of the other verses, lyrically. But, again, this is very, very creative, one-of-a-kind (almost*) stuff! *Musically, it sounds like a mix of Paul McCartney and Neil Innes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mbfrancis Posted January 31, 2015 Members Share Posted January 31, 2015 This is wonderful. Only feels like it needs some gang BGVs. Agree, great bass. I struggle with the references to Likes and Texts (not sure people say "message me" anymore). That's life today I know, but it sticks out for me a bit here. I could be wrong. Really great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted January 31, 2015 Members Share Posted January 31, 2015 This is wonderful. Only feels like it needs some gang BGVs. Agree, great bass. I struggle with the references to Likes and Texts (not sure people say "message me" anymore). That's life today I know, but it sticks out for me a bit here. I could be wrong. Really great. IM me? Text me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thehundredthone Posted January 31, 2015 Members Share Posted January 31, 2015 Totally digging that vibe and doubly digging that bass line. I like you bringing that classic vibe into the social media era, but I agree that you could definitely work on the lyrics, your music deserves more.You also need a couple more lines building up the tension towards the end if you want to end it with a "won't let you down". Give that great brass a little section of its own, maybe that's what you could use just before the ending line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rickidoo Posted January 31, 2015 Author Members Share Posted January 31, 2015 Great stuff Rick - I loved it musically - even listened to it twice. Yes - the lyric doesn't run shoulder to shoulder with the quality of the music, but the music sure carries it. Hi Git - Thanks for listening. I think I've hit upon what I need to do on the lyrics - just keep them simple and concentrate on the fun stuff which is the music. I'll never be a clever lyricist. So might as well enjoy doing what i enjoy doing. Best, Rick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rickidoo Posted January 31, 2015 Author Members Share Posted January 31, 2015 I LOOOOOVE this! The track is so playful and creative, and your bass playing is tremendous. The only thing I didn't care for was the ending. Too quick, and too soon. I wanted more. Also, the lines after the bridge fell short of the other verses, lyrically. But, again, this is very, very creative, one-of-a-kind (almost*) stuff! *Musically, it sounds like a mix of Paul McCartney and Neil Innes. Thanks LCK. I went ahead and added a short piece at the end of the song for a fade out instead of the jarring ending I had. Thanks for that feedback! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rickidoo Posted January 31, 2015 Author Members Share Posted January 31, 2015 Totally digging that vibe and doubly digging that bass line. I like you bringing that classic vibe into the social media era' date=' but I agree that you could definitely work on the lyrics, your music deserves more.You also need a couple more lines building up the tension towards the end if you want to end it with a "won't let you down". Give that great brass a little section of its own, maybe that's what you could use just before the ending line.[/quote'] Thanks Hundreth... I went ahead and appended a short snippet the end, I know that's not building the tension up, but maybe it provides an ok end cap to the song. Me wishes I could find a lyricist to have some fund with. Thanks for listening and the feedback. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rickidoo Posted January 31, 2015 Author Members Share Posted January 31, 2015 This is wonderful. Only feels like it needs some gang BGVs. Agree, great bass. I struggle with the references to Likes and Texts (not sure people say "message me" anymore). That's life today I know, but it sticks out for me a bit here. I could be wrong. Really great. Thanks Mb. I agree about the likes and message... they were gimmicks, and not the mark of clever lyrical writing. I added some BG harmonies at the end of the bridge as well as the last verses. Trying to get my singing partner (the wife...) to add her vocals as well to fill things out. Good suggestion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted February 1, 2015 Members Share Posted February 1, 2015 Rick - if you decide to do another take on the vocals, have a look at this……..I've eliminated the 'messaging' and the 'liking' - I agree there's a better way to write this. I've edited a few things and shifted some stuff around, but hopefully it's still a Rick lyric. V1 I won’t let ya I won’t ever let you down When you need a friend, to pick you up Call me, and I’ll come ‘round I won’t let you down Don’t you ever Don’t you ever feel alone Just call on me when you need someone When all your birds have flown I won’t let you down C Just remember that I care Lift up that phone, say the word, and soon I will be there I won’t let you down ============ BRIDGE Out on your own, making life on your terms You’re never alone, you can always call me ==================== V2 Don’t you ever Don’t you ever walk away I will always be here for you So call me any day I will never I will never let you down Don’t forget the love we have shared I won’t let you down I won’t let you down Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rickidoo Posted February 1, 2015 Author Members Share Posted February 1, 2015 I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I'm gonna use it tomorrow. Thank you my friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted February 1, 2015 Members Share Posted February 1, 2015 I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I'm gonna use it tomorrow. Thank you my friend. +1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rickidoo Posted February 2, 2015 Author Members Share Posted February 2, 2015 Here 'tis the updated version. Thank you one and all and especially Phil. I Won’t Let You Down© 2015 Richard Dieffenbach and Phil Burton I will neverI will never let you downWhen you need a friend, to pick you upCall me, and I’ll come ‘roundI won’t let you down Don’t you everDon’t you ever feel aloneJust call on me, when you need someoneWhen your birds have flownI won’t let you down Just remember that I careLift up that phone, say the word, and soon I will be thereI won’t let you down============BRIDGEOut on your own, making life on your termsYou’re never alone, you can always call me====================I won’t everI won’t ever walk awayIf darkness falls, and all seems lostJust call me any dayI won’t let you down I won’t let yaI won’t ever let you downDon’t forget the love, we have sharedI won’t let you downI won’t let you down Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted February 2, 2015 Members Share Posted February 2, 2015 Sounds good Rick - I think you made the right move by shifting the brass out of the Intro. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rickidoo Posted February 3, 2015 Author Members Share Posted February 3, 2015 Agreed. I did however sneak back in a short trumpet run at the start. Also frontloaded with the uke. The uke was always in the song, just moved it to start. What do you think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members oldgitplayer Posted February 3, 2015 Members Share Posted February 3, 2015 The uke is fine. There used to be acoustic guitar if I remember rightly.But I don't care for the lonely trumpet twiddle. I think it serves the arrangement better when it comes as part of the later build. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rickidoo Posted February 4, 2015 Author Members Share Posted February 4, 2015 Thanks Git. You were right. Nixed. Slight intro change as well, and no more end fade. Onto the next song! Thank you for your assist, co-writer. Lyrics, though still simple by anyone's standards, are stronger because of the additions you gave. Much appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thehundredthone Posted February 5, 2015 Members Share Posted February 5, 2015 The addition of the instrumental section and the bit at the end really helps the song I think. Did you play and record the brass yourself? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members rickidoo Posted February 5, 2015 Author Members Share Posted February 5, 2015 Hi Hundreth.. alas, no. The bass, uke, guitar and shakers are real, the trumpets and piano are syths played on a keyboard. Wish it was real. I took trumpet in HS and always sounded like a sick duck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted February 5, 2015 Members Share Posted February 5, 2015 The song was already good. It's gotten much better! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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