Members AJ6stringsting Posted December 23, 2014 Members Share Posted December 23, 2014 Have any of you had to deal with jealousy from band mates ? If so, why ? How did you handle ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Vito Corleone Posted December 23, 2014 Members Share Posted December 23, 2014 Yes, but I tell them that it'll be OK--- penis size isn't everything.... Jealousy? Over what? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members trevcda Posted December 24, 2014 Members Share Posted December 24, 2014 I'd say, "Get over yourself and work together as team", to whomever the advice needs to apply to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kramerguy Posted December 24, 2014 Members Share Posted December 24, 2014 I'd just as soon leave that band if there was one of "those guys". It's not a competition, and anyone who knows anything would take the opportunity to learn from someone more skilled than themselves, not seethe at them. I grew up in the 80's when everyone was super-competitive about it and I had enough of that nonsense then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AJ6stringsting Posted December 24, 2014 Author Members Share Posted December 24, 2014 Recently, a guy I used to play with asked if I could play with him again, I had to deal with his ego back in 1980's.People would complement me, but I find complements degrading to my development as a musician and consider myself a eturnal student of music. The guy would get upset at people complimenting me after a gig.I had to refuse playing to play with him again.All that matters is delivering the goods at 110% and giving your best to the audience who are there to enjoy live music. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MickeyKeys Posted December 24, 2014 Members Share Posted December 24, 2014 I had to refuse playing to play with him again. Not sure I get your drift here... Sorry, coffee hasn't kicked in. Are you saying you had to refuse to continue with him back in the day, and now you're undecided about playing with him again? If so, I'd say that unless there's some other compelling reason to play wth him - some irresistible gain, financial, educational or whatever - don't. Especially if he's a personal friend. And I presume that he is, because otherwise you would not be even considering this reunion. Find some tactful way out. Otherwise the cycle will start again - I'm a big believer that leopards don't change their spots - and it will ultimately cost you a friendship. I have the scars to prove my theory. Not big ones, mind you; I'm long since over it. But it wasn't pretty and the leopard and I have barely exchanged a word since. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SpaceNorman Posted December 24, 2014 Members Share Posted December 24, 2014 Recently' date=' a guy I used to play with asked if I could play with him again, I had to deal with [i']his[/i] ego back in 1980's. People would complement me' date=' but I find complements degrading to my development as a musician .... [/quote'] Compliments are degrading? WTF!?!? On the surface - there doesn't appear that you're suffering from any ego shortages yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kramerguy Posted December 24, 2014 Members Share Posted December 24, 2014 Norman, I think he meant that in a more passive way- such as compliments make him get too comfortable and kill his desire to push himself. Maybe I'm reading it wrong, but I can see how he worded it could be taken either way. I get bashful when complimented, and can't take compliments well because I don't think I really deserve them, so I kinda get what he means. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AJ6stringsting Posted December 25, 2014 Author Members Share Posted December 25, 2014 I find complements corrosive and abrasive ..... because I know there is always room for improvement and new things to learn, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AJ6stringsting Posted December 25, 2014 Author Members Share Posted December 25, 2014 Norman' date=' I think he meant that in a more passive way- such as compliments make him get too comfortable and kill his desire to push himself. Maybe I'm reading it wrong, but I can see how he worded it could be taken either way. I get bashful when complimented, and can't take compliments well because I don't think I really deserve them, so I kinda get what he means.[/quote'] This !!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MickeyKeys Posted December 25, 2014 Members Share Posted December 25, 2014 This !!!! Well, a lot of us don't feel we're quite as good as our audience likes to tell us. I had to learn to deal with this early on. If you say "I'm not really", you're indirectly insulting the person complimenting you - saying they don't know what they're saying. I just went with a neutral "thanks, I'm very glad you enjoyed it." Still does the job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SpaceNorman Posted December 25, 2014 Members Share Posted December 25, 2014 Corrosive and abrasive? How dare those prick bastards from your audience have the audacity to tell you they thought you done good!! Especially since you know there's always room for improvement and something new to learn! Compliments are not intended to be a serious, critical evaluation of you, your talent, your music and/or your performance. No matter how they're worded - they all mean the same thing. Somebody wants to connect with you and tell you they thought you did OK. Nothing more, nothing less. My advice would be to learn to accept a compliment in the spirit that they're intended. IMHO - few things reflect poorly on a performer more than the inability to accept compliments (and/or criticism) gracefully. A simple, heartfelt "Thank you - I'm glad you enjoyed!" is all you need to say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AJ6stringsting Posted December 27, 2014 Author Members Share Posted December 27, 2014 I play it off with a Thank you and a grin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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