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Learning from a member leaving


Outkaster

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Recently last week I had a guy resign through a text of all things. I was on the verge of firing him as he had a band that he was not going to leave and it got complicated. The week before I had to play all the keyboard parts (there are two of us) because I knew he was not going to be available. The guy was a mess but very kind and some levels a lot of fun. He had become a little disruptive on stage and would forget parts and harmonies driving our girl singer nuts. Well when he quit I texted him back thanks for letting me know and I would tell the rest of the guys.

 

It’s interesting through everything it’s so easy to think of firing someone or letting them go. In this case I believe he saw it coming and as easy as it was for him to bow out I feel like there is a huge fallout. It’s like you get punched in the gut but have to pick up all the pieces. I spent a lot of time changing things on Facebook, Reverbnation and will have to explain that he is no longer in the band to club owners, fans, etc. I have learned everyone is replaceable but some people it is so much harder to get a new guy for the slot. I hired the guy knowing full well that he had another band and a voice was telling me that it might not work out but the other guys felt he was a great fit.

 

When he had conflicts it was always was at a bad time or when I couldn’t prepare for a sub. I guess my point is a learned a few things; Don’t hire anyone that is a gig-whore because they always go where the money is. Find out how committed they are to their project, chances are they won’t leave it if it makes money. Don’t let the process of letting someone go drag out, you will regret it. Most of the times if you give these guys a chance they will fu—you because they run their lives like that, people don’t like to change. They might say they will improve but usually don’t. It’s really too bad because I said the fallout to having a high profile member leave is a pain in the ass.

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well to your points: Everyone that is good is in demand if they aren't running their own band and the only way to keep that level of player is to have enough gigs and pay them well enough. I learned this the hard way myself 20 years ago. In Nashville everyone's a gig whore so it just comes with the territory:)

 

I agree with your 2nd point. EVERYTIME my gut told me to fire someone it was correct and I learned years ago not to drag it out. Most of the time you really can't give anyone notice because they will FU, yes. If they're really good they ALWAYS find another gig. I personally choose to work with musicians who are pro and have character as I myself do. I'm about to give notice to my band leader and he knows I will not F him. I will play to my best ability, not miss any gigs and kick ass until I leave. They players I always end up with are of that ilk too because it's important to me.

 

So, pay your guys well. Better than anyone else, and have the gigs to sustain them. That's the key to keep great players happy and in your band! Good luck finding replacements!

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It's not so much he was that great but I built up a good portion of the live show around him so in a sense I fu--ked my self, never again. We had plenty of gigs and high profile ones. This summer I did a big opener, played 90% of the major festivals around plus a weekly restaurant gig. Loyalty has to count for something but it depends on what you want to do. You just can't sub in for a gig like ours.

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the quitting via text or email doesn't seem like a big deal in this day and age. When a guy is done he is done. If the bandleader needs you to stick around or doesn't want to burn the bridge, he will email you back and negotiate the departure. If not why waste each others time.

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At one point my main band had 2 keyboard players. The other guy quit the day of our 1st gig. We dropped the songs that absolutely had to have 2 keyboards going and I picked up the slack on the others. After the gig we decided that we didn't need a 2nd board after all, and we never looked back.

 

On another member leaving story:

We just fired a guitar player from our Floyd band. I'm not the leader of that band, but knew after the 1st practice that the guy was just not capable of playing the parts. A nice enough guy, a walking encyclopedia on Floyd, but physically not a good enough player to perform the limited parts the leader assigned him. A couple of the other guys didn't want him in the band at all, prior to them recruiting me, but he was in the original version of the band in the 90's and they felt obligated to ask him if he wanted to play. Of course he said yes. I gave a year for him to improve, and he didn't. The rest of the band agreed, and we let him go last week. Of course I'm the bad guy in it, and he sent me a drunken message on facebook about how I'm nothing but a hired gun and don't care about anything but making money, how I know nothing about commitment, or love of music, or friendship. Oh, and he requested I come up to his place and talk to him face to face if I have the balls. I'm no fighter, but this guy is like 5'8 and 250lbs, a drunk, and sweats thru his shirt just sitting there. He'd probably drop dead in 30 seconds.

 

I could have let it go, but I had to reply. I was civil, no derogatory comments, etc. I hit the points he made about me.

Hired gun- If I were a hired gun I wouldn't have stuck with a non working project for a year, and I would have been charging them for rehearsals, I wouldn't have any opinion or input on the direction of the band, and I wouldn't have sunk 4 grand into gear to make the band sound better. I spend more time learning material and programming synths on this project than I do on all of my other projects combined, and this one isn't even gigging.

Commitment- I've been with one of my bands 30 years. The other 8 years. So I know nothing about commitment. (This guy never had a band last more than a couple years, including the prior incarnation of the PF band.)

Love of music- 45 years I've been playing. Nearly my entire life. I have been involved with some sort of band project my entire adult life, and most times, more than 1. (This guy hasn't been in a gigging band since the prior version of the PF band called it quits.)

Friendship- some of my closest, lifelong friends are guys who I have been in bands with. Our kids grew up together. We have celebrated births, lived life together and mourned deaths of loved ones together. Yeah, I know nothing.... the whole thing pissed me of at first, but now, it makes me laugh.

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Dan I set up my band with two keyboard players because I wanted a specific sound and feel I can still do it. It's a tough fit but with this guy I thought it would work out. The problem with this guy is he was given plenty of time to improve and we had just had a sectional practice with the guitarist so I thought things were looking up. Maybe I should have known better like I said. Everything was in this guy's reach to improve, his playing, singing and appearance. It was affecting moral onstage and I would have had to do something soon anyway. I didn't think it was too much to ask but then he quit through a text, WTF? Anyway I remember BlueStrat was on here one time years ago and talking about how musicians are emotionally insecure people, I think I understand what he was trying to say now.

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Musicians are people. Some are emotionally insecure and some are not. I don't know if the ratio is much different for musicians than for anyone else. The difference is that, whatever a persons emotional state is, you're more likely to see it on the surface with a musician because expressing our emotions through our music and onstage is part of what we do. And it will come up in other aspects of the business ends of things as well.

 

But I've run small businesses most of my life---including bands---and you find the same stuff in them all. You have your no call/no shows, the guy who will quit via email or text, the people who ALWAYS have some sort of personal crisis or another that affects their work, the people you need to babysit, the people who are always late, the guy who drinks too much on his lunch break, and of course the kick ass employees as well. It's not that much different with bands, other than maybe you're a bit more close and personal with each other. I

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I think... until it happens a few times, having a member decide to leave hurts your feelings. I mean, I'm a great guy! So are my buddies and band mates! So... you're leaving? That doesn't compute! It makes absolutely no sense!

 

Then it happens a few times and you STOP taking it personally. To the point where you don't conjecture on the whys. Why? Who cares, they've moved on and are now history.

 

I've been accused of being cold with some of my views but that is not the case. I'm a great friend and a great band mate and love long term musical marriages. But real is real.

 

People have other things going on besides my stuff. Sometimes to the point of selfishness. That's life. Choose wisely.

 

All this ^^^ is obvious and someone reading it might say to themselves, I KNOW THAT! Then a guy quits and... what?!?!? WHY?!?!?! It's part of the deal. Any deal where people come together as a team.

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Lee I get that your correct. He did let me down but a few months down the line he will realize he let himself down. He almost wasted his own time. I am not taking it that personally I guess I am more dissapointed.

 

I hear you. I'm not judging you or saying anything about your situation specifically. Just reacting to it on a "been there, done that" sort of level. It's not fun.

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I think most guys think long and hard before they quit a good band or any job for that matter and have gone through it many times in their head in the process. By the time they make the decision to pull the trigger they know its just not a situation that they want to deal with anymore. Its a two way street. When a member quits he just fired you. He goes on the bench and looks for another band and you have to find another player. It just something you have to deal with when you decide to do the band thing.

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Yes but in this case he had another band, and not a good one at that. Plus I found out last night he was playing with someone else and was trying to get out of our Sunday gig last week because he would be tired from the night before. He fired himself, the only difference is he saved me the trouble. I know all about the band thing trust me. The guys just {censored}in vile.

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I have fired myself before. Big event band that was broken and turned over a drummer and keyboard player. After a couple rehersals it was obvious why the band was broken. I just said my rotator cuff was jacked up and I questioned whether I would be able to keep gigging with all the load ins and outs and didn't want to let them down. The reality ,The pain was in my ass and, the band leader was a trainwreck . He went on to turn over every member of the band and it never has regained its original mojo.... Sometimes a white lie is better than just telling the guy the truth. Bands are tricky.

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