Members oldgitplayer Posted July 20, 2014 Members Share Posted July 20, 2014 OK, Uncle, I'll change it, sheesh. I just know that you will come up with something more musically appropriate. I know you'll thank me when you do……… .png.197c47f720636f02390cc2b0a33804da.png' alt='smiley-veryhappy'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikeo Posted July 20, 2014 Members Share Posted July 20, 2014 Very much dug the chorus, the verses are way to much Summer Lovin from Grease. I'll read on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikeo Posted July 20, 2014 Members Share Posted July 20, 2014 I almost would have cut the chorus down a bit Don't know if it works for ya, but it's just a suggestion Chorus:Genevieve takes the morning trainto get to to work by nine and back againshe says it seems like no one acts their ageand that it feels like life's not lived it's wagedmy love for her grows, Genevieve knows Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted July 21, 2014 Moderators Share Posted July 21, 2014 Great ideas. Thing is, the whole point of the stupid simple bass line was to lull you into complacency before the weird chords come in - that's the whole point, to contrast. Part of me doesn't want to touch it, dunno. There are tons of options, just trying to keep it simple... If you do change it, you might even just use only C. Assuming here and C what you probably aren't. The tonic I mean. Then do something like what I wrote but better as the turnaround eighth note run. Simple and still the same rhythm, still the same vibe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mbfrancis Posted July 21, 2014 Author Members Share Posted July 21, 2014 I almost would have cut the chorus down a bit Don't know if it works for ya, but it's just a suggestion Chorus: Genevieve takes the morning train to get to to work by nine and back again she says it seems like no one acts their age and that it feels like life's not lived it's waged my love for her grows, Genevieve knows Yep - what you hear will be the second chorus, the first will be shorter. "And G. knows / my love for her grows / each day / as long as she..." The third might be even longer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mbfrancis Posted September 22, 2014 Author Members Share Posted September 22, 2014 OK, I *think* this is done. I mean, the lyrics are complete, it's about 3 minutes, it works I guess. I have to be honest, though, I just kind of wished it was better, bigger, like a chorus this big deserves better. It feels like a 60s time capsule, not a vital modern song. So...any ideas? (I did this demo live, piano/vocal. I just played and sang until I made a mistake, then started again, then spliced it all together - good fun.) http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=12922117 “Genevieve Knows” V1She’s like yeah,Someone oughta follow meand write stuff downI’m like yeahEvery time you speakit’s like a brand new soundbut anyone can seeI need her more than she needs me CHGenevieve takes the morning trainTo get to work by nine and back againShe says it seems like no one acts their ageAnd that it feels like life’s not lived it’s wagedBut Genevieve knows my love for her growsEach day - as long as she calls my name V2She goes down-town to be the empressof her tiny sceneI go downswinging at the sycophantsaround my queenBut let them all pretendshe's gonna wake up next to them CH2Genevieve takes the morning trainTo get to work by nine and back againShe says it seems like no one acts their ageAnd that it feels like life’s not lived it’s wagedBut Genevieve knows my love for her growsWhether she stays or whether she goes insaneAs long as she calls my name and every night’s a blurbut still I go to bat for her CH2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted September 22, 2014 Members Share Posted September 22, 2014 Hey Martin... I bow down to your piano skills and ability to sing at the same time. This is really great... but... ... I'm really wanting a full production of this song... hammonds swirling, electric guitars shimmering, bass thumping... the song deserves it. Or, at the very least, a Ben Folds Five fuzz bass treatment, drums, and piano at the helm... harmonies galore. Love the modulation you threw in there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted September 22, 2014 Moderators Share Posted September 22, 2014 GREAT! Love it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mbfrancis Posted September 22, 2014 Author Members Share Posted September 22, 2014 Hey Martin... I bow down to your piano skills and ability to sing at the same time. This is really great... but... ... I'm really wanting a full production of this song... hammonds swirling, electric guitars shimmering, bass thumping... the song deserves it. Or, at the very least, a Ben Folds Five fuzz bass treatment, drums, and piano at the helm... harmonies galore. Love the modulation you threw in there. Well, it is just a demo - I'm not even sure it's done. Does it need a bridge? Does the modulation work, etc. The fact that you can *hear* the arrangement means the demo is doing it's job , no? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted September 22, 2014 Members Share Posted September 22, 2014 Modern? 60's? I don't give a sh.t, I love this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mbfrancis Posted September 22, 2014 Author Members Share Posted September 22, 2014 Modern? 60's? I don't give a sh.t, I love this. Thanks! So...does this need a bridge? Or a v3? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Oswlek Posted September 22, 2014 Members Share Posted September 22, 2014 Only if you think it does. For me, the abridged verse ending after C2 was enough to recharge the batteries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted September 23, 2014 Moderators Share Posted September 23, 2014 I don't think it needs a bridge or V3. It sounds complete to me. The rest should come through arrangement, in my opinion, and not from more lyrics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mbfrancis Posted September 23, 2014 Author Members Share Posted September 23, 2014 OK cool. I'm thinking of doing this almost like One Direction - straight boppy but with some modern production touches. (Yes, I'm serious - .) Let's see if I can pull it off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted September 23, 2014 Moderators Share Posted September 23, 2014 OK cool. I'm thinking of doing this almost like One Direction - straight boppy but with some modern production touches. (Yes, I'm serious - .) Let's see if I can pull it off. i love that tune and production. Do it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kazzey Posted September 23, 2014 Members Share Posted September 23, 2014 Hi Francis, This is a truly lovely song. The chorus is ace. It has this rare timeless awesomeness and yet simplicity that make great songs.And when the song is finished we say : " I wanna hear it again" Kudos ! Concerning the bass line I just wanted to drop you a little idea. It's in the link below. I hope this works, this is the first time I do that ^^ https://soundcloud.com/kazzey/idea-for-genevieve-bass-line/s-gOaFm And I apologize in advance for my accent (I'm french) Hope it helps ... cheers ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mbfrancis Posted September 24, 2014 Author Members Share Posted September 24, 2014 Hi Francis, This is a truly lovely song. The chorus is ace. It has this rare timeless awesomeness and yet simplicity that make great songs.And when the song is finished we say : " I wanna hear it again" Kudos ! Concerning the bass line I just wanted to drop you a little idea. It's in the link below. I hope this works, this is the first time I do that ^^ https://soundcloud.com/kazzey/idea-for-genevieve-bass-line/s-gOaFm And I apologize in advance for my accent (I'm french) Hope it helps ... cheers ! Hey Kazzey-- That's cool, your bassline (A - Bm - D - E) totally works....thanks for suggesting it. On this track I deliberately wanted to use the simplest bassline in the world (I - IV - V - IV). Yours has too many notes, ha! Welcome to the board! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LCK Posted September 24, 2014 Members Share Posted September 24, 2014 Thanks! So...does this need a bridge? Or a v3? Yes. I want a V3 so I can hear more! about what Genevieve says... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mbfrancis Posted September 24, 2014 Author Members Share Posted September 24, 2014 Yes. I want a V3 so I can hear more! about what Genevieve says... Yeah, that's kind of where I am a little. Not too much, just a bit more to round it off nicely. The other thing that bugs me is the "whether she goes insane" which is clever but doesn't fit the rest of the song.what I'm saying in the song. Finally it would be nice to restate "Genevieve Knows" somehow to reinforce the title (as someone said). But I'm scared to mess it up, frankly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kazzey Posted September 24, 2014 Members Share Posted September 24, 2014 Hey Kazzey-- That's cool, your bassline (A - Bm - D - E) totally works....thanks for suggesting it. On this track I deliberately wanted to use the simplest bassline in the world (I - IV - V - IV). Yours has too many notes, ha! Welcome to the board! I'm happy to join ^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Lee Knight Posted September 24, 2014 Moderators Share Posted September 24, 2014 I'm happy to join ^^ Hey! A new guy!!! I've got to say... that is a suggestion! All recorded and performed nicely. Fantastic, Kazzey. Please feel free to stick around and help out... and ask for help... on any project posted. It's always wonderful having new and fresh perspective... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bee3 Posted September 25, 2014 Members Share Posted September 25, 2014 This chorus is so catchy... I had it in my head ALL day yesterday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mbfrancis Posted September 25, 2014 Author Members Share Posted September 25, 2014 This chorus is so catchy... I had it in my head ALL day yesterday. Awesome. I'm still amazed it's not stolen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mbfrancis Posted October 9, 2014 Author Members Share Posted October 9, 2014 OK I added a bridge and hopefully haven't screwed it up. I recorded this the same goofy raw way and just pasted the bridge into the middle, which is funny when I had to slow down the start of the solo to match the original tempo, whoops. I struggled with the bridge, does it work?..hopefully she's not too unsympathetic. Let me know what you think! http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=12937860 “Genevieve Knows” V1She’s like ‘yeah,Someone oughta follow meand write stuff down’I’m like ‘yeahEvery time you speakit’s like a brand new sound’but anyone can seeI need her more than she needs me CHGenevieve takes the morning trainTo get to work by nine and back againShe says it seems like no one acts their ageAnd that it feels like life’s not lived it’s wagedBut Genevieve knows my love for her growsEach day - as long as she calls my name V2She goes down-town to be the empressof her tiny sceneI go downswinging at the sycophantsaround my queenBut let them all pretendshe's gonna wake up next to them CH2Genevieve takes the morning trainTo get to work by nine and back againShe says it seems like no one acts their ageAnd that it feels like life’s not lived it’s wagedBut Genevieve knows my love for her growsWhether she stays or whether I go insaneAs long as she calls my name BRIDGEHey Jen, say when are you gonna let us all come up for air?Jen says, “depends on the weather and (if) whether I’m awake enough to care” and every night’s a blurbut still I go to bat for her CH2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tbry Posted October 9, 2014 Members Share Posted October 9, 2014 Really good lyric and piano playing....The chorus is great...the bridge is good. The last word "care" was off a bit. Overall I like this very much. You have it crafted really good. The verses, melody wise, just lag a bit behind the chorus which is very good. I guess to me or imo the chorus is really strong and the verses not so much. The last sung word in the verse could use a directional change to get a better transition to the chorus. jmo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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