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I'm taking up bass!

jonfinn

By jonfinn
in The Lesson Loft — Guitars

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JonR Newbie

JonR

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"You gotta stick the cucumber in the 18-year-old girls' faces."


Dammit, yeah, the cucumber! That's where I've been going wrong. I've been calling in at the supermarket before gigs, getting broccoli, lettuce, potatoes... and none of it works on stage! Now I know why! (I used to think the tomatoes they threw at me was a hint, but that didn't work either...)

Mind you, I think he wants us to stick the cucumber down our jeans. I don't think I could manage that, because there's no room, what with my enormous penis an' all....

:D

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JonR Newbie

JonR

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These tips are good too.

Excellent. He should be in a band with the other guy.

 

You can see many of these faces (and some he forgot) demonstrated by pros here (years of experience really coming out):

http://www.thedailyguitar.com/12-shocking-photos-of-crazy-guitar-faces.

Lets's see now... here's my answers:

 

Joe Walsh = #1 Lemon Juice (excellent)

SRV = #2 bad body odour (text book example)

Prince and Joseph D'Agostino = #3 tunnel mouth

Santana = #4 vampire

#5 face slap is difficult to identify without seeing the move, but Richie Sambora, John Mayer and Robin Trower could all be in the middle of one.

We don't seem to have an example of #6, the star gaze. D'Agostino could be attempting it, but he's confused himself by going for tunnel mouth at the same time (he's not going through to the final then).

And what the hell is B B King trying to achieve? toothless vampire?

As for David Gilmour, he's just not trying.

 

Actually I think our guy forgot #7: the Orgasm. A few candidates for that one in that photo gallery.

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JonnyPac Newbie

JonnyPac

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Love it, JonR. Those are ridiculous!

 

I'm about as fun to watch as Bill Evans at best- I just deliver. No cucumber, no "oh" face.

 

Oh well, being liked is overrated. lol

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yanktar Newbie

yanktar

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I think his jeans are definitely too tight...and his voice is really, really high because of it. He's drinking Pabst, which means he has no taste or has never tasted good beer. And he's high off it. How pitiful is THAT?

I have boots older than this kid. And he makes Jay Baruchel look like Brad Pitt.

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GreenAsJade Newbie

GreenAsJade

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I think his jeans are definitely too tight...and his voice is really, really high because of it. He's drinking Pabst, which means he has no taste or has never tasted good beer. And he's high off it. How pitiful is THAT?

I have boots older than this kid. And he makes Jay Baruchel look like Brad Pitt.

 

 

It's great when someone really nails the essence of a video - sees it for what it really is.

 

I'd be keen to hear your opinion of this performance Vai did (apropos the thread, there's some good face work in here - dig the "two neck tongue" from 1:09), I'm thinking you'll appreciate it equally well...

 

aiXR9ggRdFI

 

GaJ

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NorthernPaul Newbie

NorthernPaul

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GAJ:

 

That Steve Vai thing was complete toss. Unless I just don't get it?

 

I got the impression he was possibly taking the piss out of the audience, and seeing what crap they would applaud?

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JonR Newbie

JonR

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Love it, JonR. Those are ridiculous!


I'm about as fun to watch as Bill Evans at best- I just deliver. No cucumber, no "oh" face.


Oh well, being liked is overrated. lol

I'm not one to brag, but I think I'm as adept at the face solo as most. At the risk of appearing immodest, here's one of mine, taken MANY years ago. Not quite sure which category this one falls into though: maybe a face slap after emitting foul body odour while chewing a lemon...?

 

The keen-eyed will also appreciate that I have the tight jeans rule well observed, although the cucumber appears to have gone missing. But at least I'm doing better than our bass player, who is - how can I put this - just standing there and playing... (we sacked him soon after this).

 

Let this be a challenge to all you musos out there - can you do better?

(Question: how do you put together a backing track for a face solo??)

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GreenAsJade Newbie

GreenAsJade

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Don't you think those "shred" youtubes are awesome?

 

Check out the Clapton and Santana as well :) :)

 

(search for "clapton shred" etc in youtube)

 

They crack me up every time.

 

Just like the OP's vid did... great stuff, hilarious.

 

That's why I was waiting for the other guy's insights into something else that I think is hilarious. I was hoping no-one was going to let him in on the joke, see if he could get it as well as he got the OP's.... I was really looking forwards to his critique of Vai doing experimental music :) Ah well, another time ;)

 

Cheers,

 

GaJ

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JonR Newbie

JonR

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Clapton Shreds is great. My fav is Creed Shreds III.

I love the Clapton one.

 

I've checked a few out, and I think they're funniest when it's people you admire.

I know little and care less about Creed, so - while that was hilarious - I literally wept with joy at this one:

 

- the vocal is just right!

 

And who needs the Fast Show's Jazz Club when we have these:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiVlHPWjGoM&feature=related

 

(even the bits with just his face - very clever)

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JonR Newbie

JonR

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bass06.jpg

Don't tell me. What scales are being used there?

(turn up the bass, I can't hear it...)

Anyone got a tuna I can borrow?

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