Members ibobunot Posted June 23, 2005 Members Share Posted June 23, 2005 With a stun gun and pepper spray. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members twotubman Posted June 23, 2005 Members Share Posted June 23, 2005 Here's a fun website! http://www.evilbible.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BillyGrahamCracker Posted June 23, 2005 Members Share Posted June 23, 2005 Originally posted by blaghaus I once got asked by the Archbishop of Liverpool if I'd like to go back to his place and partake in some sacraments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pedalguy Posted June 23, 2005 Members Share Posted June 23, 2005 Whenever people have come up to me & tell me how great their church is & ask if I want to go to their church, If I'm not interested I usually tell them: "Thanks but I'm not interested as I have my own beliefs & believe in GOD in my own way". The one's that I can't stand are the bible thumpers who come up to you & ask if you've recieved Jesus & try to tell you that what they believe is the truth-I usually respond:"who are you to tell me what the truth is & what I believe is wrong" I usually then tell them that they don't know what the truth is anymore than I do! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mst3k Posted June 23, 2005 Members Share Posted June 23, 2005 exactly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members weirdscenes Posted June 23, 2005 Members Share Posted June 23, 2005 Q: "Do you go to church?"A: "Honey, I never leave." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bp 1 Posted June 23, 2005 Members Share Posted June 23, 2005 In America, being polite usually means something other than what you are trying to say. So if the average leagalistic evangelical invites you to there so called church, just say " I'm not a dispensationalist and I don't believe in the herecy of the modern church." Nothing too long or complicated... just an honest straight forward answer. All right - semi honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members slider Posted June 23, 2005 Members Share Posted June 23, 2005 ginboommiller. I actually am a Buddhist. so no disrespect is sent out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Jeremy Skrenes Posted June 23, 2005 Members Share Posted June 23, 2005 Originally posted by mst3k But I mean how many nasty nasty battles around our world have occured and still do big time, all based on religion. Im really not tryin to be Debbie Downer. Wah Wah wah wah. Hmm, true, but think of all the positive things done in the name of religion: all the schools and hospitals started, civil rights movements, and even the founding of America for religious freedom. I'm not saying it somehow evens out, I just want to challenge those who object to religion not on its principles but on the people who have perverted it the most. If you throw out religion because of people like Osama Bin Laden, you also lose people like Mother Teresa. J Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Thelonius Posted June 23, 2005 Author Members Share Posted June 23, 2005 Originally posted by Jeremy Skrenes Hmm, true, but think of all the positive things done in the name of religion: all the schools and hospitals started, civil rights movements, and even the founding of America for religious freedom. I'm not saying it somehow evens out, I just want to challenge those who object to religion not on its principles but on the people who have perverted it the most. If you throw out religion because of people like Osama Bin Laden, you also lose people like Mother Teresa. J Good point. But I think crazy kills people. Not religion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members palthegiraffe Posted June 23, 2005 Members Share Posted June 23, 2005 A related problem: Someone asking you to say a blessing before a meal. At no point in my convoluted, dysfunctional relationship with churchgoing have I ever been comfortable leading a prayer. How can I speak for everyone else in the room whose head is bowed? I probably disagree with them on some theological issue, so can I really lead their prayer? If I say a prayer that includes an element with which someone in the room disagrees, are they automatically exempted from inclusion in that particular statement to God, or am I making them "say" something they don't want to? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sir H C Posted June 23, 2005 Members Share Posted June 23, 2005 I read The Brick Testament: http://www.thebricktestament.com/ Years back I went to a Jehovah's Witnesses funeral. It was very weird where the priest would pull out very short passages from the bible (quoting the page/verse and then everyone flipping to that verse) and then interpreting the 3 lines (or less) given. Then boom next quote. It was too much. Oh, and in college someone spoke in tongues over me to save my soul. It was sad. It sounded like that Michael Jackson song (Mama say mama sa ma ma coo-sa). This was over the top, I was polite, didn't laugh at them, but this guy was very annoying. He would blast gospel from his room and then go away for the weekend with the music still on. He turned me off to evangelical religion and others have just added to the distaste in my mouth. I understand their love for their God, but they have to realize when is the right time to talk to others about religion and when (at work) is the wrong time. I work with a Jehovah's Witness, and we have never had a problem with this. I make my own judgements and when people try to force me to join with them I usually do the opposite to spite them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sir H C Posted June 23, 2005 Members Share Posted June 23, 2005 Originally posted by palthegiraffe A related problem: Someone asking you to say a blessing before a meal. At no point in my convoluted, dysfunctional relationship with churchgoing have I ever been comfortable leading a prayer. How can I speak for everyone else in the room whose head is bowed? I probably disagree with them on some theological issue, so can I really lead their prayer? If I say a prayer that includes an element with which someone in the room disagrees, are they automatically exempted from inclusion in that particular statement to God, or am I making them "say" something they don't want to? Quote Bart Simpson: Rub-a-dub dub thanks for the grub! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members palthegiraffe Posted June 23, 2005 Members Share Posted June 23, 2005 Originally posted by Sir H C Quote Bart Simpson:Rub-a-dub dub thanks for the grub! A couple I'm friends with visited recently for dinner; just to be obnoxious, I asked the husband, a militant atheist, to say a blessing. He responded with that Bart quote. I was impressed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Thelonius Posted June 23, 2005 Author Members Share Posted June 23, 2005 Originally posted by palthegiraffe A related problem: Someone asking you to say a blessing before a meal. At no point in my convoluted, dysfunctional relationship with churchgoing have I ever been comfortable leading a prayer. How can I speak for everyone else in the room whose head is bowed? I probably disagree with them on some theological issue, so can I really lead their prayer? If I say a prayer that includes an element with which someone in the room disagrees, are they automatically exempted from inclusion in that particular statement to God, or am I making them "say" something they don't want to? +1000 I have never lead a dinnertable prayer and have no intention to. I've been asked a couple of times but have passed on it. People are ready to eat so they don't make a fuss, they just find someone else. I have no problems with dinner prayers. I just don't want to lead them for the exact same reason you said. Although once my uncle had a few too many snorts before dinner once...and this is a DEVOUTLY religious man who is now the elder of my family and so has often led prayer as long as I've been alive. His prayer..."Dear Lord....the devil sucks" If I'd done that I'd have been beaten down and still would probably be thrown out. But like I said he's a war hero and a devoutly religious dude who went up to me at my father's funeral and said "don't you worry about me when you're looking down on me in the casket....I'll be right where I need to be" I like that kind of religious fellow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ottobahn Posted June 23, 2005 Members Share Posted June 23, 2005 There is an excellent book written by C.S. Lewis in the 1940's titled "Mere Christianity". He was and intellectual and former atheist. It is a rather short book and an excellent read. It does not focus on any particular flavor of Christianity but discusses its essence. I recommend it to anyone who has questions about what Christians believe and why. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DICKTRON Posted June 23, 2005 Members Share Posted June 23, 2005 Originally posted by Darkburst Them: "Hey, do you want to join us at church this Sunday?"Me: "Are any fine {censored}in' bitches gonna be there?" The only time I ever accepted an invite to go to someone's church was my freshman year of college. This woman, who lived in my dorm, asked me to go with her. It was one of those born-again type of places, everybody was very polite, but they had "contemporary" worship services (or, as my uncle likes to say, they were "happy-clappy Christians")--ugh! I went, several weeks in a row. Sadly, I only went because I really wanted to get into her pants. She was a hotty. There's another black mark on the DICKTRON hell tally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members palthegiraffe Posted June 23, 2005 Members Share Posted June 23, 2005 Originally posted by DICKTRON Sadly, I only went because I really wanted to get into her pants. She was a hotty. There's another black mark on the DICKTRON hell tally. Shamefully, that how I met my wife. A girl at my parents' church invited me to an event with her church friends. Then she ditched me to hang out with others, leaving me sitting next to another non-church-member woman that she had also invited. I talked to that woman instead, and ended up marrying her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DICKTRON Posted June 23, 2005 Members Share Posted June 23, 2005 Originally posted by palthegiraffe Shamefully, that how I met my wife. A girl at my parents' church invited me to an event with her church friends. Then she ditched me to hang out with others, leaving me sitting next to another non-church-member woman that she had also invited. I talked to that woman instead, and ended up marrying her. Glad that it all worked out for you in the end, then. Me--I didn't score, although we did end up becoming pretty good friends through college. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sir H C Posted June 23, 2005 Members Share Posted June 23, 2005 Originally posted by palthegiraffe Shamefully, that how I met my wife. A girl at my parents' church invited me to an event with her church friends. Then she ditched me to hang out with others, leaving me sitting next to another non-church-member woman that she had also invited. I talked to that woman instead, and ended up marrying her. I like this story! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members palthegiraffe Posted June 23, 2005 Members Share Posted June 23, 2005 Originally posted by Sir H C I like this story! I forgot to add that while my marriage survives, the church didn't. They had a wacky priest who got so bent out of shape over the Episcopal Church becoming "heretical" that he left the church and took about half of the wacky-inclined people with him to form their own wacky church. So goes the world of theological tantrums. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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