Members Thelonius Posted June 22, 2005 Members Share Posted June 22, 2005 I personally think it's rude to invite me. Because it puts me in a position that I feel I need to explain why I will not be accepting your hospitality and making myself look like a dick, while at the same time telling you that I think what you believe is wrong. In the meantime, if anyone's thinking of asking me.....I know where the {censored}ing church is. If you don't own the church your invitation doesn't hold any more water than me driving down myself and going. But outside of all of that. I don't want to be a dick. You know..usually when someone invites me to a church, they're being nice. I just don't {censored}ing like it. So what's the best way to be diplomatic? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 80k Posted June 22, 2005 Members Share Posted June 22, 2005 just say "no, thanks." only feel obligated to explain any further if they ask you a second time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members themeanreds Posted June 22, 2005 Members Share Posted June 22, 2005 Say, "no thank you." Seriously; do you owe any explanation beyond that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members auditorium Posted June 22, 2005 Members Share Posted June 22, 2005 rip off your shirt and show them your tat of jesus getting sucked off by an alter boy. they'll get the picture pretty quick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sir H C Posted June 22, 2005 Members Share Posted June 22, 2005 As a Roman Catholic (non-practicing) I would always just say that is my religion thanks. That or you could say you are Jewish and would prefer not to be harrassed in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Thelonius Posted June 22, 2005 Author Members Share Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by themeanreds Say, "no thank you."Seriously; do you owe any explanation beyond that? Probably not too hard to believe knowing me.....but I hadn't actually thought of that yet. I was thinking of jumping on the table and going "WTF mother{censored}er?!? You think I'm a piece of {censored} sinner worthy of rotting in hell so I gotta go to your church so YOU can get the credit for converting a godless heathen?!?!? {censored}....YOU!!!!!!!!" But yeah, I think "no thanks" might work better. You guys are {censored}ing smart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members blaghaus Posted June 22, 2005 Members Share Posted June 22, 2005 I once got asked by the Archbishop of Liverpool why I wasn't getting confirmed. How the {censored} do you not offend the {censored}ing bishop without lying. I though he was out of order for asking. In the end I said I just wasn't ready, which was a half truth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bucket_brigadier Posted June 22, 2005 Members Share Posted June 22, 2005 I just say in a very pleasant tone, "Y'know, I'm just not very interested in theology." Then I get a weird look and a nervous smile, and the subject turns to the weather or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members gregovertone Posted June 22, 2005 Members Share Posted June 22, 2005 i was born a snake handler, ill die a snake handler. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Andersonology Posted June 22, 2005 Members Share Posted June 22, 2005 Tell them you already go to the "Church of Satan".... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members capnbringdown Posted June 22, 2005 Members Share Posted June 22, 2005 Here's what I'd do. Grab whoever invited you by the throat and start shaking them. Then, in the loudest voice possible, yell at them, "I'm a mother {censored}ing aethist! Now leave me the {censored} alone!" Of course, that may cause other problems, but who said all solutions are not without problems themselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Thelonius Posted June 22, 2005 Author Members Share Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by blaghaus I once got asked by the Archbishop of Liverpool why I wasn't getting confirmed. How the {censored} do you not offend the {censored}ing bishop without lying. I though he was out of order for asking. In the end I said I just wasn't ready, which was a half truth. Yeah I can see that. See I'm 31 and a lot of the friends I've had have started settling down, getting married, having kids, or all of the above, etc. A lot of times this involves joining into a church. I do not discourage them from doing so even though I wrote a long rant about my sister a couple of months ago and how she's IMO being very misled about Christianity but at the same time you don't want to challenge her thoughts when she may be slightly vulnerable anyways. I mean I'd rather her be in church and happy you know? But along with that starts coming invitations. For some reason church invitations come on saturday nights during beer drinking too. That's weird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MrSage Posted June 22, 2005 Members Share Posted June 22, 2005 If you're really uncomfortable just saying "no thanks" you can always say something like "Thanks a lot for the offer. I'll think about it and let you know if that's something I'm comfortable with in the future." Of course then there's a small possibility that they'll ask again in the future... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Thelonius Posted June 22, 2005 Author Members Share Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by gregovertone i was born a snake handler, ill die a snake handler. Nice one. I live in North Alabama so that's not a stretch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Andersonology Posted June 22, 2005 Members Share Posted June 22, 2005 If you say (phonetically) & record the phrase "um-yes-fish-row", and then play it backwards, it will say, very cleary "worship satan"... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MrSage Posted June 22, 2005 Members Share Posted June 22, 2005 I find it really interesting that a lot of you are advocating swearing as a way to "scare off" the person who is doing the inviting... Do you really think that all people who go to church are total squares? That they've never heard profanity before? Seriously, folks. Most modern churchgoers aren't any different from most people here. The biggest difference is that they don't sleep in on Sundays. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members themeanreds Posted June 22, 2005 Members Share Posted June 22, 2005 smile. produce live bat from pocket. Bite head of bat. Keep smiling. Nod. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Thelonius Posted June 22, 2005 Author Members Share Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by MrSage I find it really interesting that a lot of you are advocating swearing as a way to "scare off" the person who is doing the inviting... Do you really think that all people who go to church are total squares? That they've never heard profanity before? Seriously, folks. Most modern churchgoers aren't any different from most people here. The biggest difference is that they don't sleep in on Sundays. I'm sure everyone's just being funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members wacopacco Posted June 22, 2005 Members Share Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by MrSage I find it really interesting that a lot of you are advocating swearing as a way to "scare off" the person who is doing the inviting...Do you really think that all people who go to church are total squares? That they've never heard profanity before? Seriously, folks. Most modern churchgoers aren't any different from most people here.The biggest difference is that they don't sleep in on Sundays. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ginnboonmiller Posted June 22, 2005 Members Share Posted June 22, 2005 I often try to go with the pre-emptive strike when I get the Jesus vibe from someone. It's remarkable how you can keep the conversation civil when you start stating an opinion with, "well, I'm a typical New York atheist, but..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Andersonology Posted June 22, 2005 Members Share Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by Thelonius I'm sure everyone's just being funny. Like "funny, I amuse you" or "funny ha-ha"?..... fuck you you fucking fuck.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members gdwill2u Posted June 22, 2005 Members Share Posted June 22, 2005 I'm with the "just say no thank you" crowd, and don't offer an explanation. If they ask why, politely tell them it is none of their business when, where or if you go to church. Don't worry about offending them, anyone impolite enough to ask why isn't someone you want to be friends with anyway, at least not until they grow out of their obnoxious religious phase. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members papa taco Posted June 22, 2005 Members Share Posted June 22, 2005 Tell 'em you're a Scientologist and that you know some scary motherfuckers who will make sure that they or their families NEVER get work in Hollywood again!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jcn37203 Posted June 22, 2005 Members Share Posted June 22, 2005 For me it all depends on how it is approached. Like once where I used to work we hired this new lady and we were just chatting and stuff, and she mentioned that she had a sunburn. So I asked how she got it and she said playing volley ball. So I said I used to enjoy volley ball. So she said her church plays volley ball once a week and if I'm interested I could just show up and say she sent me and they'd let me play, and its a great group of people and the fellowship is good and if I decided to attent the service, it was a good pastor and was a very forward-thinking church. And that was the end of it. That was probably the closest I ever came to accepting an invitation. A few years later I worked with this other dude who invited me to his church like once a week. Then on Mondays he'd be like "Hey man, I was looking for you Sunday, sorry you couldn't attend". So I really just had to {censored}ing lay it out for him, I'm not interested in going to church, especially not that kind of church (relatively infamous around these parts, not naming names). So he said fine and didn't bug me for a few weeks. Then one day he comes in to my office and closes the door and sits down next to me and tells me the church is hosting this event with a speaker who does a question/answer session afterwards, and it's geared towards people who have lost their way or have questions about spirituality and life through Christ. I turned that down also, then he got really {censored}ing weird. Like on Monday's he ask "So did you go out this weekend, do it up real big? Drink a lot? Case women around? mmmm hm. Well I hope it was fun". And this was a {censored}ing 22 year old guy. He wound up meeting a girl at church, asking her to be his girlfriend, then asking her to marry him, then marrying her all in about 2 months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MrSage Posted June 22, 2005 Members Share Posted June 22, 2005 Originally posted by Thelonius I'm sure everyone's just being funny. Yeah, I know. It's all tongue in cheek. But my point is that most church-goers aren't what non church-goers envision...especially in a lot of the more progressive churches these days. You could belt out a stream of profanity, and the person would react just about the same way you could expect a random person off the street to react. Now...if you really want to get them off your back, tell them you're a Mormon and ask if they'd like to come to your church. Then clock them with a radar gun and see how fast they take off... :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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