Members capnbringdown Posted February 4, 2007 Members Share Posted February 4, 2007 He knew this was the worst day he had ever had since the day he got his dick caught in a mousetrap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Wilbo26 Posted February 4, 2007 Author Members Share Posted February 4, 2007 Time out. The story thus far: One day, a young boy named Ryan Adelphi woke up, went to the bathroom and began to brush his teeth. But after a few quick brushes, he noticed his toothbrush tasted a little "off". He had often thought about rubbing peoples' toothbrushes on the toilet seat when he was at parties and his mind immediately rushed to this scenario. Then he remembered the rim job he gave Markom just a few short hours ago and sat the toothbrush down with a wistful sigh. Could his dream have actually occured? His mind raced. And cocks a'plenty embraced he, longing for that one chewy stick of Big Red. "Am I a character in Finnegan's Wake?" he wondered aloud, chewing his toast thoughtfully. Although he never liked Joyce, he had read Finnegan's Wake. "My day sure took a strange turn quickly," he thought. He broke himself out of his thoughts, grabbed his signature Hasselhoff backpack and made his way to his new job at the fudge-packing factory. Although he wasn't in the union yet, he was nearing the end of his probation and was making friends with the shift lead-hand. He knew if the security cameras caught him jerking off on the DMM's in GC, he would surely lose more than just his dignity. He then suddenly thought to himself "Wow...Where the hell did that come from?" Then, checking his email, he squealed with delight that his toneczar pedal would be ready in exactly 3.2 years. Which was actually a good thing considering his ability to play had yet to reach a level which necessitates a 700 dollar pedal, and that leaves time to practice! Meanwhile, playing aside, work was calling. "Ok", he said, "those asshole aren't going to {censored} themselves!" And he grabbed the olive oil. Now, while harder and deeper were the instructions of the day, he thought, "why not change things up a bit?" Then he died. Finally, he thought he was at peace. Then, in his grave, who should come but Wilbo, digging him up with a tube of KY jelly in his hand. twas' a slipper day indeed! For Wilbo knew that the dried out anus of a corpse is a tight thing; only with liberal annointing of lubrication may one blow the breath of life back through the sphincter in the age old way of his ancestors. So Wilbo got on his cell phone to his friend Inscho, who was well known to enjoy buggering dead people. "You get sloppy seconds", he laughed. "How could my palms have possibly gotten this hairy", he wondered silently as he thumbed through the pages of his beastiality porn magazine ? He knew this was the worst day he had ever had since the day he got his dick caught in a mousetrap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mumford Posted February 4, 2007 Members Share Posted February 4, 2007 "Where can I go to talk about guitar effects and acts that are probably illegal in Utah?" he mumbled sadly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tocs100 Posted February 4, 2007 Members Share Posted February 4, 2007 "Where can I go to talk about guitar effects and acts that are probably illegal in Utah?" he mumbled sadly. Harmony Central Effects Forums, of course! This story has been brought to you courtesy of Musician Friend's Lifestyle Merchandise. We've been an authority on buggery for nearly 20 years: Log-on or order a catalog today! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Remedy Posted February 4, 2007 Members Share Posted February 4, 2007 "Quick!", he thought. "To the computer I must go!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tocs100 Posted February 4, 2007 Members Share Posted February 4, 2007 "Quick!", he thought. "To the computer I must go!" The Suicide Girls vid was always good for two solid wank-offs before lunchtime. Alas, the squeak of the papertowel and windex on the computer monitor caused his secretary to pop her head in... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Porkchop Xpress Posted February 4, 2007 Members Share Posted February 4, 2007 but wait..."That's not my secretary!"Before he could speak again, the Ku Klux Klan being lead by the youngest son from 7th Heaven ran into the room, snatched him up, ran him outside where they had a giant bowl of chocolate pudding waiting for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thenakedarab Posted February 4, 2007 Members Share Posted February 4, 2007 As they coated him in cold Jello goodness he saw the noose being thrown over the lowest limb of the tree in the courtyard, and thought to himself "this can't be good,". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thenakedarab Posted February 4, 2007 Members Share Posted February 4, 2007 Once fully coated, looking every bit like a lumpy Al Jolsen impersonator, they placed him on a pale white horse which was at that time led to the tree; then with a flourish the impresario began to speak in a foreign tongue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mumford Posted February 4, 2007 Members Share Posted February 4, 2007 Tasting the jello, he thought, "actually, it's not too bad, in fact it's downright goo--- what was that part about the KKK again?" Just as Gary Coleman, dressed in full Grand Dragon regalia, swooped in on a convenient vine and began to untie whatever the {censored} the protagonist's name was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thenakedarab Posted February 4, 2007 Members Share Posted February 4, 2007 As the Hungarian lessons he took years ago came back to him Gary turned a ruddy shade of red with the dawning realization he had disrupted a Civil Rights Celebration held in honor of Black History Month in which Ryan was the Honorary Lynchee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Porkchop Xpress Posted February 4, 2007 Members Share Posted February 4, 2007 Before he could say another word, a flaming leprechaun fell out of his armpit. The leprechaun, knowing that time was short, ran to a small hole in the wall and reached in. Only seconds passed, although it felt like a fortnight, before he pulled his little swollen arm back to reveal that he caught a mouse with lightning bolts shaved into it's head fur. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bluehuricane Posted February 4, 2007 Members Share Posted February 4, 2007 Before he could say another word, a flaming leprechaun fell out of his armpit. The leprechaun, knowing that time was short, ran to a small hole in the wall and reached in. Only seconds passed, although it felt like a fortnight, before he pulled his little swollen arm back to reveal that he caught a mouse with lightning bolts shaved into it's head fur. alas, the mouse none other than... wait, what the {censored}? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ScreamCage Posted February 5, 2007 Members Share Posted February 5, 2007 alas, the mouse none other than... wait, what the {censored}? Looking at Gary groveling for mercy from the leader of BAG (Black Acceptance Group) and a flaming leprechaun digging for gold in what he thought was a wall (which was actually a 550lb. BAG member), Ryan slowly said to himself, "Darn it! I'm gonna die again, aren't I!?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members capnbringdown Posted February 5, 2007 Members Share Posted February 5, 2007 He woke up sometime later in a police station being told he had freaked out on LSD. He wondered to himself why he so badly smelled like {censored}. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Dr.Picklebottom Posted February 5, 2007 Members Share Posted February 5, 2007 He woke up sometime later in a police station being told he had freaked out on LSD. He wondered to himself why he so badly smelled like {censored}. then he remembered. he had pooped all over the townsfolk several times over...and then some. he shamefully collected his thoughts as he cleaned himself up with a "sanitary napkin" he procured from a local chicken wings merchant. no sooner than he finished cleaning himself than an el camino full of americans careened past him hurling diapers packed to the rim with poop from god knows whats ass and racial epitaphs. just after he vomited with rage he screamed back, " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members gil1 Posted February 5, 2007 Members Share Posted February 5, 2007 then he remembered. he had pooped all over the townsfolk several times over...and then some. he shamefully collected his thoughts as he cleaned himself up with a "sanitary napkin" he procured from a local chicken wings merchant. no sooner than he finished cleaning himself than an el camino full of americans careened past him hurling diapers packed to the rim with poop from god knows whats ass and racial epitaphs. just after he vomited with rage he screamed back, " "{censored}ing fecal terrorists! Terrible people, no morals!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Porkchop Xpress Posted February 5, 2007 Members Share Posted February 5, 2007 Without warning his left leg exploded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Dr.Picklebottom Posted February 5, 2007 Members Share Posted February 5, 2007 "{censored}ing fecal terrorists! Terrible people, no morals!!"maybe ive had gil1 all wrong. that was a fantastic completion of that set up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Dr.Picklebottom Posted February 5, 2007 Members Share Posted February 5, 2007 Without warning his left leg exploded.and then he inexplicably began urinating out of his mouth. through spurts of urine he squealed, " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ScreamCage Posted February 5, 2007 Members Share Posted February 5, 2007 and then he inexplicably began urinating out of his mouth. through spurts of urine he squealed, " ::MOVED FOR UNITY:: "I never should have jumped the border to North Korea...I feel like I've lost my Seoul..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Wilbo26 Posted February 5, 2007 Author Members Share Posted February 5, 2007 ::MOVED FOR UNITY::"I never should have jumped the border to North Korea...I feel like I've lost my Seoul..." He then suddenly remembered that he had lost his leg, and quickly hopped in the general direction of the nearest free clinic, when suddenly Patrick Duffy ran square into him just as he was about to cross the finish line of the annual North Korean Fun Run. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members angus_old Posted February 5, 2007 Members Share Posted February 5, 2007 then the sun exploded Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members inscho Posted February 5, 2007 Members Share Posted February 5, 2007 "How could my palms have possibly gotten this hairy", he wondered silently as he thumbed through the pages of his beastiality porn magazine ?*break from story*so is this suppose to be me talking? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members joncyberboy Posted February 5, 2007 Members Share Posted February 5, 2007 then the sun exploded Which was annoying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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