Members Dr.Picklebottom Posted February 16, 2007 Members Share Posted February 16, 2007 :blah: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ZJD Posted February 16, 2007 Members Share Posted February 16, 2007 :arg: :arg: :arg: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Dr.Picklebottom Posted February 16, 2007 Author Members Share Posted February 16, 2007 did you know that if your mom dies and you tell the busdriver, shell let you on the bus for free? its true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Zlandicar Posted February 16, 2007 Members Share Posted February 16, 2007 Now this is the story all about how My life got flipped, turned upside down And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there Ill tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air Iiiin West Philadelphia born and raised On the playground was where I spent most of my days Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school When a couple of guys, they were up to no good Started making trouble in my neighborhood I got in one little fight and my mom got scared And said you're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air I whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said fresh and had dice in the mirror If anything I could say that this cab was rare But I thought, man, forget it, yo home to Bel-Air I pulled up to the house about seven or eight And I yelled to the cabbie yo, holmes, smell you later Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ZJD Posted February 16, 2007 Members Share Posted February 16, 2007 did you know that if your mom dies and you tell the busdriver, shell let you on the bus for free? its true. Your mom died? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Dr.Picklebottom Posted February 16, 2007 Author Members Share Posted February 16, 2007 i knew this one kid at our school, who wouldnt take blood transfusions, so intead they gave him apple juice. and in the autumn he changed colors, fell out of a tree, and died. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ZJD Posted February 16, 2007 Members Share Posted February 16, 2007 i knew this one kid at our school, who wouldnt take blood transfusions, so intead they gave him apple juice. and in the autumn he changed colors, fell out of a tree, and died. You went to school? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Dr.Picklebottom Posted February 16, 2007 Author Members Share Posted February 16, 2007 you cant trust bugs. this one time i was training some of the smarter cockroaches in a flea circus of mine. but as soon as i turned the lights on they all went AWOL. no, you cant trust a bug. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members inscho Posted February 16, 2007 Members Share Posted February 16, 2007 Now this is the story all about how My life got flipped, turned upside down And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there Ill tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air Iiiin West Philadelphia born and raised On the playground was where I spent most of my days Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school When a couple of guys, they were up to no good Started making trouble in my neighborhood I got in one little fight and my mom got scared And said you're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air I whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said fresh and had dice in the mirror If anything I could say that this cab was rare But I thought, man, forget it, yo home to Bel-Air I pulled up to the house about seven or eight And I yelled to the cabbie yo, holmes, smell you later Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air i have a very offensive gif to go with that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Zlandicar Posted February 16, 2007 Members Share Posted February 16, 2007 i have a very offensive gif to go with that PM me with it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members inscho Posted February 16, 2007 Members Share Posted February 16, 2007 PM me with it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Dr.Picklebottom Posted February 16, 2007 Author Members Share Posted February 16, 2007 :blah: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ZJD Posted February 16, 2007 Members Share Posted February 16, 2007 you cant trust bugs. this one time i was training some of the smarter cockroaches in a flea circus of mine. but as soon as i turned the lights on they all went AWOL. no, you cant trust a bug. You have lights at your house? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Ben Glass Posted February 16, 2007 Members Share Posted February 16, 2007 "The best activities for your health are pumping and humping." "Having a pump is like having sex. I train two, sometimes three times a day. Each time I get a pump. It's great. I feel like I'm coming all day. "The greatest feeling you can get in a gym or the most satisfying feeling you can get in the gym is the pump. Let's say you train your biceps, blood is rushing in to your muscles and that's what we call the pump. Your muscles get a really tight feeling like your skin is going to explode any minute and its really tight and its like someone is blowing air into your muscle and it just blows up and it feels different, it feels fantastic. It's as satifying to me as coming is, you know, as in having sex with a woman and coming. So can you believe how much I am in heaven? I am like getting the feeling of coming in the gym, I'm getting the feeling of coming at home, I'm getting the feeling of coming backstage when I pump up when I pose out in front of 5000 people I get the same feeling, so I am coming day and night. Its terrific, right? So I am in heaven." - Arnold Schwarzenegger Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members comfortablynumb Posted February 16, 2007 Members Share Posted February 16, 2007 PM me with it +1! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Dr.Picklebottom Posted February 16, 2007 Author Members Share Posted February 16, 2007 Pickles, the dog. I think things really took a turn for the worse between Allison and I when I offered to pay her 37 dollars to make out with her brother, Steve, for ten seconds at my twenty-seventh birthday party. I don Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Wilbo26 Posted February 16, 2007 Members Share Posted February 16, 2007 As most of you already know, on November 22, me and Julie got married. What most of you do not know is what happened the weekend before we got married. The some of guys at work got together and decided to throw me a bachelor party. This was not the usual bachelor party; this was going to be a portable or mobile bachelor party. The plan was to rent a van and leave work at the end of the day on Friday and not get back until about 6:00 AM the following morning. The first stop on our trip was to be the casinos in Tunica, Mississippi. This was mainly for other people in the group. I have never gambled before and have never been too interested in giving my money away for nothing. But one of the guys in the group really loved to gamble so we went. The other reason for going there was so that another guy could tell his wife that we were going to Tunica and not mention where we where going afterwards and still not be lying to his wife. That guy ran into some money problems and wound up not going anyway. I played the slots a little bit and made about forty bucks and pretty well quit after that. I mean, how lucky can I be anyway? The real gambler with us jackpotted a machine and won $625. He said, "Don't worry boys, tonight is my treat". Now this guy normally plays all his winnings right back into the casino, so we really had to drag him out of there. He only lost $200 between there and the door. (He thanked us later.) After that it was on to the real purpose of the trip. Memphis! Now when I say Memphis, I really mean Tiffany's. Tiffany's is (to put it nicely) is a gentlemen's club. A place of adult entertainment; where for a price, the ladies will pretend to "like" you. And for a higher price, will pretend to love you. Now don't get me wrong, there is no prostitution going on here, (that I am aware of), just a high class, clean, fancy strip club. They get naked on stage and for table dances and I won't go into the details on the lap dances upstairs. I also saw in an advertisement in the Memphis Flyer that they claim to be the Bachelor Party Specialists. Well now that got me curious. I checked around and I had two different people tell me the exact same story. Both of these guys both claimed to have seen this for themselves. And it goes something like this..... What they do is get you up on the stage and sit you down in a chair. The guy is supposed to be trying to talk you out of getting married and just all around make fun of you. The rule is that you are to hold on to the arms of the chair and if you ever let go, it's all over. But you can do whatever you want to with your face. At this point, about a dozen ladies come out and one at a time, they strip down and crawl all over you. After they all do that one at a time, then they do it all at the same time. Uhhhh..... okay. I can handle that. I can't really say that I've ever had a whole flock of naked ladies crawling all over me before. So if that is what is supposed to happen, then I am definitely curious. But one little detail; that is not how they do it anymore. It goes a little more like this now days........ First, the little smart-alecky guy called me out of the crowd and up on the stage where a chair is waiting. The whole time, he is really insulting me; and I mean really insulting me! After a little bit of this, he gives me a choice of what's behind door #1 or door #2. Well door #1 was at the top of the stairs that led down to the stage where we were at; and at the top of the stairs, I could see a group of ladies. Door #2 was a door on the wall that had an exit sign on it. So I did this little boy act thing and meekly pointed at door #1. That's when he called all the girls down. I think there were forty of them (that number is sticking in my mind for some reason) and they were all wearing these skimpy little slut costumes. They make a big circle around me about three people thick and the whole time, the little announcer dude is still making fun of me for getting married and giving up all this. Yea, right! After a little bit of this, he sics them on me. First thing they do is they push me down into the seat and proceed to undress me (or so it seems). Two of them are taking off my shirt. One takes my glasses. And one of them starts taking off my belt (uh oh). Then a couple of them starts tugging at my underwear (double uh oh). Now one thing you need to understand here is that we all left straight from work for all this, so I was still wearing my dress clothes: Dockers, long sleeve dress shirt, and boxers. Within the last few years, everyone seems to be interested in whether certain people wear boxers or briefs. Well, I'm a boxer person. And not just plain boxers, but fancy and unusual ones. This particular night I happened to be wearing my Tabasco boxers that had the little Tabasco brand symbols and little red pepper symbols all over them. Like I was saying, the girls started pulling up on my underwear and when they had them just a few inches above the belt line, they started to tear holes in them with that little latch thing part of the belt buckle that they had just taken off of me. After they got two good size tears started just under the elastic band, that's when they really started pulling. I don't mean just a little tugging; I mean pulling! Yanking! They literally pulled my underwear off of me by pulling them over my head giving me the ultimate wedgie. Actually, all they got was the band which one of them made into a headband and put on me. The rest of my underwear was hanging out of the top of my pants in great big shreds or else crammed up in me so far that I just about squeaked. I looked like some big dorky shirtless flower. Now this is where it starts to get interesting. The girls tell me to get out of the chair and one of them takes my place there. Then that girl takes my hands and plants them on her.... uh, well, you know. They were kind of hard. I think they were "augmented". Then she pulls my face down and sticks it right between them. So now there I am, up on the stage completely bent over and somewhere on this stage is a girl holding my belt. That is where the fun started. The girl with the belt proceeded to whoop me. And I don't mean some token little spanking. There was no little bappity-bappity. This was an all-out, old fashioned, horse whipping! (89 KB) There I was with my face all buried up in 'em and being beaten like a dog. I tried to stay cool and not show any pain (you know, all that self control and discipline stuff that I am so proud of); but, man, that really hurt! So there I was: screaming and squeezing and being publicly humiliated. And they never did get naked! Well after a few more insults and a whooping that left whelps for a day and bruises for a week, I am sent off the stage and back into a crowd that's all pointing and laughing at me. I had to find my shirt that was hid behind some plants and head off to the bathroom to see if I could salvage my underwear. I couldn't. I just trashed 'em. Do you know what it is like to go all night in dress pants and no underwear? It ain't natural, I tells ya! Oh, well. At least I was able to save my waistband/headband. That's my one souvenir for the night. Some people told me, that would have made them mad if that had happened to them and that they wouldn't have taken that. Not me; I thoroughly enjoyed it. It opened up a whole new world for me. I never understood these S & M people before. I guess it's true when they say, don't knock it till you try it. The rest of the night was not all that eventful. Another strip club that was not as nice as the first. It was packed like sardines and absolutely filled with smoke. After that a redneck roadhouse way out in the middle of nowhere. Outside of some tiny town that is not even on an Arkansas state map. The place was a dump and I was not impressed. The others really enjoyed it though. "These are real whores here; not like those pretend whores in Memphis." Yea, whatever. I might pretend to cheat on Julie, (especially if she's around) but one thing you can count on: I won't! The band there was pretty good though: Classic Rock. Anyway, I was ready to get home and I did about six in the morning. I told Julie what happened and she got a big kick out of it. I dropped a lot of hints with a lot of people about getting a riding crop as a wedding gift, but no luck. But Christmas is coming up real soon, so I can always hope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Zlandicar Posted February 16, 2007 Members Share Posted February 16, 2007 The peace sign be a time be a part of the grind And if I'm gonna say it with a whole in the bottom What I say I said I really want it in line Even though dear God she just wanna blend So be a max take a ball of wax of backs Until it's comin' from our hand Can I foresee the dimes across and the ceiling There's a boner on the horse you wish I ride Now I pulled into line to do see do Pulled by for a look for a little bit of light See the boss 'cause he's going to ride my mind She's gone tonight Be enforced trickle back 'cause she's going to do do do To the peni for the petal in the eyes That's right Mr. Cool I don't listen to you Motor mouth talkin' {censored} when you're living off the Corpse of a body of a simian that is dead And the crime for eternal And his soul is a hole in my mind That I leave with a fore and it's a forehead traction Two blue site feel full and a bullet for the real She'll get it sail Lookin' in to rip your mind out The big sail Rip your tail We're drivin' in a no wind What you find What you need All you wanna do is sit and breed (A tea bag, ha ha ha) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Dr.Picklebottom Posted February 16, 2007 Author Members Share Posted February 16, 2007 those last 2 posts by wilbo and zlandicar were lame and not funny. this is funny: Koko I lay in bed with Meredith after another unsuccessful attempt at love-making. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Dr.Picklebottom Posted February 16, 2007 Author Members Share Posted February 16, 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Dr.Picklebottom Posted February 16, 2007 Author Members Share Posted February 16, 2007 koko! :love: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members #16 Posted February 17, 2007 Members Share Posted February 17, 2007 i knew this one kid at our school, who wouldnt take blood transfusions, so intead they gave him apple juice. and in the autumn he changed colors, fell out of a tree, and died. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members #16 Posted February 17, 2007 Members Share Posted February 17, 2007 i have a very offensive gif to go with that So why is it I no have PM? :love: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Dr.Picklebottom Posted February 17, 2007 Author Members Share Posted February 17, 2007 :D you changed your name? swanky is well...pretty swanky, but youre #16! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sir poopie, M.D. Posted February 17, 2007 Members Share Posted February 17, 2007 worst thread ever? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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