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WOT: Single After 5 Years


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So, I've been going out with this girl since I was 16, now 21, and things didn't work out. We recently moved into an apartment together, but she has been distant/cold to me since the move-in. So I came home yesterday to talk about what was going on, and she said she didn't really love me like she used to, and we decided it was best to just end things.

 

We've been best friends since we were 16, so we figured we'll kinda have to learn to be friends. Honestly, I feel like it's a lot easier to be her friend than her bf, at least in this stage in our lives.

 

Any comments on similar experiences? Any words of wisdom (besides go {censored} a million girls)?

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I had the same thing recently, split up with a mrs of 9 years and decided to try be friends. The friends bit has been a complete nightmare, 1st of all she starts crying because she wants me back, then she starts crying because she doesn't want to be friends anymore, then she starts crying because were not friends, and the cycle kept repeating itself for the past 10 months!!! OMFG!!!

It takes time, but DON'T focus to much energy on her, focus on rediscovering the world again, it's a blast!!! :thu:

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advice? Think very carefully before you think about settling down again. There are lots of girls out there and they are all very different, get to know lots of them and find out what you really want in a partner before you commit to your next long term relationship......just go out and have fun while you are young.

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Don't lie to yourself thinking "it could work out", because more than likely, it won't. Move on, do things you haven't been able to because of the constrains of a relationship and channel your energy into everything BUT her.

 

If it's meant to be it will end up working out in the long run, but if it doesn't you at least have gotten a jump on the rest of your life.

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It's been quite a while since my last serious relationship. We are still friends, and sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing breaking up with her. She's happily married now and it makes it far easier knowing that.
One good thing that came from the break up was the amount of free time I had for playing guitar, and the amount of disposable income I had for buying gear.

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So, I've been going out with this girl since I was 16, now 21, and things didn't work out. We recently moved into an apartment together, but she has been distant/cold to me since the move-in. So I came home yesterday to talk about what was going on, and she said she didn't really love me like she used to, and we decided it was best to just end things.


We've been best friends since we were 16, so we figured we'll kinda have to learn to be friends. Honestly, I feel like it's a lot easier to be her friend than her bf, at least in this stage in our lives.


Any comments on similar experiences? Any words of wisdom (besides go {censored} a million girls)?

 

 

Being more serious this time, the best advice is to go out there and live life. Go out there and play gigs, see gigs, get involved in new pursuits, see people, do whatever you want to do. If it's meant to be with her and she's going through the difficult uncertain woman period, then let her play with all her emotional juggling balls and enjoy yourself. If she sorts herself out and realises that she's been Queen Doofus for going cold on you, then perhaps you can get back together. That is, if you haven't hooked up with a legal Miley Ray Cyrus by then and are seriously considering the notion of having Mr Achy Breaky Heart as a father-in-law.

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I split up with a girl after 7 years.....
I spent 2 years chilling and doin' what i wanted.....
Shagged a few dirty slappers.....
Drank loads of beer.....
Bought a few guitars.....
Bought a few amps....
Bought loads of pedals...
Then met a girl I really liked.....
Happy as a pig in {censored}......!

Just chill out and be single for a while, you've been in a relationship for a long time considering you're only young. Have fun!....

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Bachelor'd


The first few months alway suck the most, but man, you're 21 and you've been w/ her since 16. This is a blessing in disguise! Hang w/ the boys, read some Zen books, so some soul searching - hell, find a self-help book that makes sense. The Road Less Travelled is a good one. And when that gets a little boring, there's always beer.

Trust me, you're gonna look back on this and see it as one of the best things that could have happened. You're way too young to move in w/ a high school sweet heart.

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My advice: Get far away from this girl. The friends thing almost never works out. You'll probably end up back together again and then broken up again and again. You can act now to save yourself from 5 years or so of turmoil by just walking away and starting over from scratch. It may not seem like such a hot idea to you right now to just forget about someone who meant something to you for so long, but you're young and if you completely walk away now and start the healing/forgetting process, you'll be in good shape for the rest of your twenties.

The plus side to all of this is that having been in a relationship for so long, you should have a much better understanding of women overall, so that should help you when it comes to starting up future relationships. But don't rush into another long-term relationship anytime soon. At least screw a few random chicks before you start getting serious again.

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So far all this advice has made me laugh, made me cry, and made me desire beer.

I guess it's just difficult to completely space myself away from her. I'd say since things have been going downhill, my demeanor toward her has changed to a more friendly one, so I feel like I'm almost in that mode. I'll try and do my best to avoid the friends w/ benefits card, as much as I really do want that.

I do agree that if it's meant to be it will happen. However, I at the same time don't think it has any possibility of ever happening if we don't spend some time apart.

Now to spend glorious amounts of cash on gear, CD's, and maybe a trip somewhere.

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Whatever you do, don't jump into another serious relationship. At this stage you're still working out what exactly you want from the other person.

Hell, what I found out I really wanted after years of dating a lot was a far cry from what I thought I wanted when I was 21.

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Here's what you do:

1)Get a camcorder, set to record.

2)Get her toothbrush.

3)Insert said toothbrush in your arse.

4)Get this on video.

5)Remove toothbrush and put it back where it belongs.

6)After she moves out, send her a copy of the video.

That should take care of the having to be friends thing once and for all.
:evil:

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