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Ok, full disclosure here: I know this guy who's really into ICP.

I met him at Denny's at about 3 in the morning one night. Everybody in their late teens/early 20s has a phase where they just hang out in diners, drink coffee and smoke all night. I met this dude then. He was a moron. I mean, a serious moron. Really into ICP, too. Had the hatchet men all over his car, worked at the haunted house during halloween with that make-up on, the whole deal. He went to the Gathering of the Juggalos a few times, too.

Well, this guy was a moron. It was right around when the Motorola Razor came out and he just
to have one, even though it was about $350 out of pocket. They were really cool phones back in the day. Well, it took him about 2 days to break the glass on the 'front' display. moron. I asked him how much his car cost. I then asked him, 'wait a minute, you spent $150 on your car, and you spent $350 on your phone?' moron.

Well, one day, my friend and I hatch a plan. We are going to screw this guy up. Royally. It was when he was working the haunted house (he didn't work any other time of the year). For a few days, we went to every pet shop in a 30 mile radius, and bought all the crickets. Crickets, to feed snakes and lizards and other crap like that. We put all those crickets in a styrofoam cooler, and it was about 6 inches deep in crickets. While he was working, we went up to his car in the parking lot (which of course wasn't unlocked. Would you lock your car if it was only worth $150?) opened the door, dumped the crickets out on the front seat, and closed
and locked
the door. His keys were inside.

Right now, this is just about the most awesome and terrible thing you can do to a person.

The guy had to call a tow truck to get the slim jim and pop the lock. He knew he'd be riding home with 10,000 crickets when he called. We saw him at Denny's a few days later and he told us the story. We played it pretty straight, but then again it doesn't take much to get this by a moron.

I asked if he thought about just leaving the car there. He did. He said that he should have.

You are kinda, sorta ....a dick.....albeit a funny one. :p

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