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How to let a girl down gently?


Stevenglass

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My friends made an online dating profile of me as a joke. Within two days some girl texted me and offered lunch on her dime and to play with her dogs (literal connotation). I went like a dumb ass. Stage five clinger.

 

The moral of this story is I'm dumb, the internet is dangerous, free lunch and dogs are cool, friends can be dicks, and it's okay to punch a woman.

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Tell her you post everything about your life on a guitar forum. Then tell her "my bro's on the forum said "pics or it's your Uncle Badtouch" so can I take a picture of you so everyone can rate you on the internet?"

 

... everything should work itself out after that.

 

(if she does take a pic... well buddy. Pics or it's your uncle badtouch staying the weekend.

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I can say this, as a newly turned 30yr old. I don't regret the girls I've done, just the girls I didn't do.

 

(secretly) Late at night, sometimes it's the nasty ones I think of when I'm doing my boring girlfriend. At least back then I could sneak out never to be seen again. Now, I have to fight over the sink to brush my teeth every morning and hope she leaves early so I can drop a deuce in {censored}ing peace.

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