Members RiffKing24 Posted July 22, 2002 Members Share Posted July 22, 2002 this is a praise song i wrote for my church youth group, i am only 14 so go easy The song is "all i need to say"(chorus) I want to rise, but I always fall,I recognize, I can't get up at all,I need your hand, to help me stand, Lord, pick me up, please fill this cup,and dust me off again,dust me off again! I've fallen down,face in the ground,stuck in this miry clay,and all i need to say,Lord you are my king,my everything,I'll lean on you again, (chorus) I trip and stumble, I always fumble,on my own two feet,once again I'm beat,Lord carry me today,That's all I need to say, (chorus) All I need to say, Is that I love you,and you love me,That's all I need to say, (chorus 2x) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kachana Posted July 22, 2002 Members Share Posted July 22, 2002 I don't really know anything about praise music and am not religious, but for what it's worth thise lyrics seem very heartfelt, and very mature for a 14 year old, nice one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RiffKing24 Posted July 22, 2002 Author Members Share Posted July 22, 2002 thanks for the encouragement that helps alot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pontiusplaymate Posted July 23, 2002 Members Share Posted July 23, 2002 I think the song is good for a 14 year old. I think though that I would be more moved if you were praising some god that was more wrathful and less merciful...like a ghost cheetah with tanks for feet and bloody arms holding knives for teeth. This creature could route about like chewbacca in a tar filled pit, killing innocent peasants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cool_E Posted July 23, 2002 Members Share Posted July 23, 2002 Originally posted by pontiusplaymate I think though that I would be more moved if you were praising some god that was more wrathful and less merciful... Check out the Old Testament, brother. There's plentyof wrath in there. BTW. I think the lyric is OK! Write on... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pontiusplaymate Posted July 25, 2002 Members Share Posted July 25, 2002 Originally posted by cool_E Check out the Old Testament, brother. There's plentyof wrath in there.BTW. I think the lyric is OK! Write on... Jehova=Chewbacca Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members IsildursBane Posted July 25, 2002 Members Share Posted July 25, 2002 >Jehova=Chewbacca HAHA! I'm thinking we could develop this into a concept album called "The Wookie That Saved Them All" I bet you could get a few eyebrows raised at church with that one. -Dan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members JSimms Posted July 25, 2002 Members Share Posted July 25, 2002 Originally posted by IsildursBane HAHA! I'm thinking we could develop this into a concept album called "The Wookie That Saved Them All" I bet you could get a few eyebrows raised at church with that one. -Dan. I bet you would raise the eyebrows of god too. God being George Lucas of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pontiusplaymate Posted July 26, 2002 Members Share Posted July 26, 2002 are you getting all this riffking? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members zuul777 Posted July 26, 2002 Members Share Posted July 26, 2002 what kind of music are you putting those GOOD lyrics too? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members krz_msgr4 Posted July 26, 2002 Members Share Posted July 26, 2002 Hey riff, I'm a 16-year old who writes worship songs too. I like your lyrics, I especially enjoyed this part: All I need to say,Is that I love you,and you love me,That's all I need to say. Keep writing, I'm sure that God will keep using you. -Kate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Zpacey Posted July 26, 2002 Members Share Posted July 26, 2002 Pretty good, especially for a 14 year old. My only advice is to avoid using overused lines and lyrical concepts such as "fill this cup" and "in the miry clay". Try to think of phrases that are a bit more imaginative. Defintely not a bad song tho. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bulldawgu812 Posted July 28, 2002 Members Share Posted July 28, 2002 nicely done jeff, would make a real catchy praise song... really original except for a few lines like the miry clay, and fill my cup. but overall great Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RiffKing24 Posted July 28, 2002 Author Members Share Posted July 28, 2002 sorry i have been at camp all week so i just got home. thatnks for the input. i have no idea what i am putting the music too. i was hoping bulldawg could help me sometime at church or myyouth band leader. but uh the whole ghost cheetah stuff was, um, uh original i guess. but i think the old testament does beat the crap out of the cheetah god. ytou ever seen skeletons come to life or a city blow up from a force that rivals nuclear power? cause there arew some dead peeps in the bible who have. anyway thanks for the advice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pontiusplaymate Posted July 29, 2002 Members Share Posted July 29, 2002 Originally posted by RiffKing24 sorry i have been at camp all week so i just got home. thatnks for the input. i have no idea what i am putting the music too. i was hoping bulldawg could help me sometime at church or myyouth band leader. but uh the whole ghost cheetah stuff was, um, uh original i guess. but i think the old testament does beat the crap out of the cheetah god. ytou ever seen skeletons come to life or a city blow up from a force that rivals nuclear power? cause there arew some dead peeps in the bible who have. anyway thanks for the advice So, let me get this straight...God's bombs are less powerfull than human made nukes? Looks like you might wake up as a pillar of salt tomorrow. Anyhow, I think the whole skelatons come to life and cities blowing up thing has been overdone to death in hollywood. I think the ghost cheetah is far more interesting and thought provoking. I don't want to write your song for you, but I highly recommend you go with ghost cheetah in a tar pit. If you go with Ghost Cheetah, I will personally write the music for it, for you...and for God (i.e. Ghost Cheetah). G Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RiffKing24 Posted July 29, 2002 Author Members Share Posted July 29, 2002 wow. after that unhealthy round of blasphemy who's up for a little devil worshipping? jeez. dude look out! here come the freakin locust Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pontiusplaymate Posted July 30, 2002 Members Share Posted July 30, 2002 That's an awesome intro to your ghost cheetah song. The locusts can be like the royal garbs of the horrible God ghost cheetah out for revenge. Keep it coming! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RiffKing24 Posted July 30, 2002 Author Members Share Posted July 30, 2002 Quote: originally posted by pontiusplaymate-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------That's an awesome intro to your ghost cheetah song. The locusts can the like the royal garbs of the horrible God ghost cheetah out for revenge. Keep it coming!--------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i think they make pills for those kind of ideas pontius Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pontiusplaymate Posted July 30, 2002 Members Share Posted July 30, 2002 Originally posted by RiffKing24 Quote: originally posted by pontiusplaymate-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------That's an awesome intro to your ghost cheetah song. The locusts can the like the royal garbs of the horrible God ghost cheetah out for revenge. Keep it coming!--------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i think they make pills for those kind of ideas pontius riffking, I know what you're asking...but as much as I'd like to, it would be wrong for me to give you these pills. You will have to look within to find a future for your vision of the Ghost Cheetah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RiffKing24 Posted July 31, 2002 Author Members Share Posted July 31, 2002 i think it's your vision buddy. shoot son you need to take alot of those pills that ghost cheetah is one trippin beast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pontiusplaymate Posted July 31, 2002 Members Share Posted July 31, 2002 Originally posted by RiffKing24 i think it's your vision buddy. shoot son you need to take alot of those pills that ghost cheetah is one trippin beast. shoot boy, my trippin' ain't nothin' compared to those old testement prophets. Ezekiel laying on his side eating dung and watching UFO's...doesn't get much more freaky that that. In fact, I bet Ezekiel even has a chapter or two on ghost cheetah, and maybe even one on chewbacca. Run with the cheetah! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RiffKing24 Posted July 31, 2002 Author Members Share Posted July 31, 2002 fool he cooked his bread OVER crap. not actually ate it. besides laying on his side for like three hundred days took commitment. anyway the ghost cheetah was made up by you. shouldn't he worship you since you were the creator. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bulldawgu812 Posted July 31, 2002 Members Share Posted July 31, 2002 i'm not to sure about this ghost cheetah guy... i bet he would be cool to hang out with. not too sure about a god tho. i would room with him in college tho, that would kick to live with a ghost cheetah! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MortalDecay1 Posted July 31, 2002 Members Share Posted July 31, 2002 Going to church is a sin. Dont go it will ruin your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Dudealicious Posted July 31, 2002 Members Share Posted July 31, 2002 Um, i think keeping God's law is not a sin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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