Members Goop Posted May 12, 2009 Members Share Posted May 12, 2009 At a bar drunk as hell and the bathroom was full so I went out and took a piss in the gas tank of a new Ford F150. Later found out it belonged to the guy running sound that night. Walking home drunk from the bar and see a car that was jacked up in front and one of the front wheels was missing. I unjacked the car and threw the jack through the windshield. At a friends house after doing numerous shots of Jag. Passed out sitting on the couch then woke up and puked on my lap. Couldn't find my shoes so I walked home (about 10 blocks) wearing only my socks. When I got home most of the socks were gone and just had what looked like sweat bands around my ankles. About half a block from my house I started puking and {censored} my pants. I took off my loaded underwear and threw them over a fence. During the night I had to puke again but was too sick to get to the toilet so I just barfed on the bed, next to the pillow, then went back to sleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members karma279 Posted May 12, 2009 Members Share Posted May 12, 2009 At a bar drunk as hell and the bathroom was full so I went out and took a piss in the gas tank of a new Ford F150. Later found out it belonged to the guy running sound that night. Walking home drunk from the bar and see a car that was jacked up in front and one of the front wheels was missing. I unjacked the car and threw the jack through the windshield. At a friends house after doing numerous shots of Jag. Passed out sitting on the couch then woke up and puked on my lap. Couldn't find my shoes so I walked home (about 10 blocks) wearing only my socks. When I got home most of the socks were gone and just had what looked like sweat bands around my ankles. About half a block from my house I started puking and {censored} my pants. I took off my loaded underwear and threw them over a fence. During the night I had to puke again but was too sick to get to the toilet so I just barfed on the bed, next to the pillow, then went back to sleep. World Class Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members KCTigerChief Posted May 12, 2009 Members Share Posted May 12, 2009 God damn, i just read through some of the old posts in this thread....this thread can never die Holy {censored} there is some funny stuff in here :rawk :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mcr23 Posted May 12, 2009 Members Share Posted May 12, 2009 What happens in college stay in college Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members NixerX Posted May 12, 2009 Members Share Posted May 12, 2009 At a bar drunk as hell and the bathroom was full so I went out and took a piss in the gas tank of a new Ford F150. Later found out it belonged to the guy running sound that night.Walking home drunk from the bar and see a car that was jacked up in front and one of the front wheels was missing. I unjacked the car and threw the jack through the windshield.At a friends house after doing numerous shots of Jag. Passed out sitting on the couch then woke up and puked on my lap. Couldn't find my shoes so I walked home (about 10 blocks) wearing only my socks. When I got home most of the socks were gone and just had what looked like sweat bands around my ankles. About half a block from my house I started puking and {censored} my pants. I took off my loaded underwear and threw them over a fence. During the night I had to puke again but was too sick to get to the toilet so I just barfed on the bed, next to the pillow, then went back to sleep. I sure hope you are bull{censored}ting because while reading this I was hoping you'd get run over by anything and drug for a mile or two. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nwright Posted May 12, 2009 Members Share Posted May 12, 2009 Man, I don't have any really good stories. My heavy drinking days were pretty much relegated to college...The only one I can think of was from my sophomore year. I lived off campus and me and my roommate were always broke, so we'd find enough money to split a gallon of Skol Vodka. We'd find one of our older friends to go buy it for us and we'd each drink half with some of that Green Hi-C (this was mid 90's). After drinking that down one night, we decided to go to a party at our other friends house a block away. After stumbling to the house, I ended up getting stoned (my first time using a bong). After a couple hours there, we decided to go back home. As we were walking we passed another house party that had about a dozen or so crotch rockets parked on the sidewalk. I thought I'd be funny and kick one over...If you've ever seen Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, then you know the biker gang scene....Well, that happened. What turned into me kicking one bike over became a dozen bikes falling like dominoes. We took off running and we heard a few of the Todd's run out and start kicking some other dudes ass, thinking he had done it. We could hear the drunk dude yelling "it wasn't me man! It' wasn't me man!" as we ran... The next Monday we caught up with our friend who had the party. He said "man, some dudes down the road kicked our neighbors ass on Saturday. I guess he knocked some bikes over or something." Turns out the dude lived in between our friend and the crotch rocket party, got blamed for what I did, and got the daylights beat out of him. The only other thing I did that I can really remember being scared about was my senior year in high school. It was around Halloween and me and a couple friends (3 guys, 2 girls) decided to go around town doing the typical Halloween stuff...TP, stealing pumpkins, etc. The driver (who was also the roommate in the college story above) was driving and he had one of those "fancy" slingshots that we used to use for shooting birds and stuff using special pellets. We used to use them with paintballs and shoot each other. He had some paintballs stuffed under the seat, so we started shooting paintballs at houses...From paintballs we started picking up rocks as we went around getting pumpkins. I shot 2 rocks, one at a house and one at a truck...The first rock hit an aluminum storm door at a house, the second hit a parked Chevy Luv pickup that was all rusty and beat up...Where the truck was parked was right along a tree row next to a stop sign, and you had to really pull up to see if there were any other cars. Well, as we pull around the stop sign, the car we see at the intersection with us is a cop car. It was like slo-mo, us watching them as they watched us. Once we passed, we sped up a bit and we saw the cops flip on their lights and turn around. We proceeded to stuff all of the crap we had in between the cushions in the back seat and in the pockets of our back seat friends. The cops pulled us over and searched me and my friend since we were in the front seats. They didn't make the people in the back get out. They "searched" the car with flashlights and found the slingshot and told us they had heard something get hit. I was the one who had shot at the truck, but I blamed some kids on the hill for hitting US with rocks, and the reason we were out was because we were looking for them. The cops ended up taking off looking for 2 suspicious kids, lol. If they had searched the car, they would have found a bag of paintballs, some alcohol (we were all 17), about 40 rolls of TP in the trunk along with about 15 pumpkins. We were so scared we drove back to our school (which was about 10 miles from the town we had been in) and proceeded to smash the pumpkins all over the parking lot at the school, throwing all the toilet paper all over the parking lot and driving away practically crying. That was the closest we had ever come to REALLY being in trouble. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Goop Posted May 12, 2009 Members Share Posted May 12, 2009 I sure hope you are bull{censored}ting because while reading this I was hoping you'd get run over by anything and drug for a mile or two. Bull{censored}ting? I'll leave that for the guys who play Engls in their mom's basement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Zacman0126 Posted May 12, 2009 Members Share Posted May 12, 2009 Dude...your a twat. You gloat about throwing a car jack through a guy's windshield? As if he wasn't already having a great day being broke down. Diaf. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Goop Posted May 12, 2009 Members Share Posted May 12, 2009 Dude...your a twat.You gloat about throwing a car jack through a guy's windshield? As if he wasn't already having a great day being broke down.Diaf. A twat? How dare you!! I thought this was supposed to be a confessional? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sex Panther Posted May 12, 2009 Members Share Posted May 12, 2009 A twat? How dare you!!I thought this was supposed to be a confessional? Yeah, but that doesn't take away from the fact that it was a dick move. You're lucky the guy wasn't around to throw the jack through your head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Goop Posted May 12, 2009 Members Share Posted May 12, 2009 Yeah, but that doesn't take away from the fact that it was a dick move.You're lucky the guy wasn't around to throw the jack through your head. And you're lucky you were not on the other side of the fence when I tossed my loaded underwear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Scott K Posted May 12, 2009 Author Members Share Posted May 12, 2009 I raped 10 chicks at a frat party. Then I pooped on their noses. Flat out, this thread is gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys....and thank you for contributing your homosexuality to our very gay thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members getglockd Posted May 12, 2009 Members Share Posted May 12, 2009 I knew this chick for a really long time. She and i had some serious sexual tension. On thanksgiving last year we finally {censored}ed. why is that bad? she's married, and her marriage was/is on the rocks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mcr23 Posted May 12, 2009 Members Share Posted May 12, 2009 I raped 10 chicks at a frat party. Then I pooped on their noses. Flat out, this thread is gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys.Think strategically. Ghey people reduce the number of other dudes competing with str8 guys for chicks. Odds are they are not trying to get in your pants so why bother posting that?:poke: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members BornUnderBadSgn Posted May 12, 2009 Members Share Posted May 12, 2009 Thats nothing, holes in from acid ballsweat = character/mojo 34 oh the lulz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members PlayboyChris Posted May 12, 2009 Members Share Posted May 12, 2009 And you're lucky you were not on the other side of the fence when I tossed my loaded underwear. You tell him! Goop Home's first two stories = classic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jnurp Posted May 12, 2009 Members Share Posted May 12, 2009 I raped 10 chicks at a frat party. Then I pooped on their noses. Flat out, this thread is gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys. so does one of the guys have two cocks in his mouth at the same time? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rex Acren Posted May 12, 2009 Members Share Posted May 12, 2009 We used to pick up the local department store's carts up in the back of my truck, drive around, and randomly push them off into the roads around town.....either that or throw them off the highest things we could find. Never got in trouble.Oh my god my friends and i did the EXACT same thing! We thought we invented it! this was around 97-98. We did it about 10 times, always the same road though, low traffic. Man those metal ones would bounce and spark like crazy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Rex Acren Posted May 14, 2009 Members Share Posted May 14, 2009 I refuse to be the one who kills this thread. BUMPAlright. Confessions.... one that won't get me into trouble... My ex-girlfriend was only ever my girlfriend because when presented with the choice of asking out either her or her more attractive friend, I chose her because I thought I had a better shot at her actually saying yes. ... she innitially said no... so I spent the next few weeks laughing it off by calling her the "ugly one". Then she called me and we dated for 3 years. .... 3 horrible, horrible years. They were horrible mostly because she never shaved, nor washed her vagina. It smelled like an armpit with an asshole in it. When we did have sex, she'd ritualistically stop about 5 minutes in because she claimed it hurt or that she "didn't want to anymore". I dated a fat ugly chick with a stinky vagina who constantly left me with blue balls... for 3 years. I'm an idiot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Chezdon Posted May 14, 2009 Members Share Posted May 14, 2009 And you're lucky you were not on the other side of the fence when I tossed my loaded underwear.That is a brilliant comeback! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sudds Posted May 14, 2009 Members Share Posted May 14, 2009 I refuse to be the one who kills this thread. BUMP Alright. Confessions.... one that won't get me into trouble... My ex-girlfriend was only ever my girlfriend because when presented with the choice of asking out either her or her more attractive friend, I chose her because I thought I had a better shot at her actually saying yes. ... she innitially said no... so I spent the next few weeks laughing it off by calling her the "ugly one". Then she called me and we dated for 3 years. .... 3 horrible, horrible years. They were horrible mostly because she never shaved, nor washed her vagina. It smelled like an armpit with an asshole in it. When we did have sex, she'd ritualistically stop about 5 minutes in because she claimed it hurt or that she "didn't want to anymore". I dated a fat ugly chick with a stinky vagina who constantly left me with blue balls... for 3 years. I'm an idiot. Brilliant!!!! And quoted for comedy value! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Davidarnarsson Posted May 14, 2009 Members Share Posted May 14, 2009 I'm an idiot. Yes, yes you are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sudds Posted May 14, 2009 Members Share Posted May 14, 2009 I've boned mate's ex girlfriends....On more than one occasion.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tmdguitar Posted May 23, 2009 Members Share Posted May 23, 2009 This happened last week, when my brother, cousin and myself were in some sketchy park looking for a disc golf driver i lost a couple week prior. The park is near the local county jail as well.Anywho, we're on this tree covered hill where the disc flew into. all of a sudden we see a dude sneak into the top of the hill and looked like he was taking a {censored} or something. My brother asks him to state his name and SS number, and the guy just phases it out and runs off after he was done doing whatever.We climp up to the top onto the tree with is right next to the jail and started looking to see what he did or hid. i noticed a bag under some tree roots so i grab it and we all ran down the hill back into the park, then calmly walked out of the park since there was a cop searching the bathrooms (this was at about 7 pm). We were sure there was some sort of drugs in there like crack or meth, until we unwrapped the double bagged gift to reveal a half full box of Newport 100's and a bic lighter. so we smoked up we thought about returning the bag filled with turds, but were satisfied with our new booty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tmdguitar Posted May 24, 2009 Members Share Posted May 24, 2009 BUMP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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