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3 new songs I wrote.. tell me what you think


blinkLine218

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Here are 3 new songs I wrote. Please read them and tell me what you think of them, and if there's anything that should be changed. Thanks.

 

Dance with Me

 

We're all just waiting

For this to fall apart

A snow-stained angel

You just break my heart

 

You held my hand

And I waited to breathe air

So as we count the second hand

I know there's something more out there

 

Chorus: So dance with me

Until we meet our end

Our end

And so die with me

Until we live again

Again

 

Remember the day

We met in the rain at the promenade

Remember the time we smiled

Even when there was nothing to say

And as the close draws near

I want you to hear

No one will ever love you

As much as I do, dear

We can run away together

But as this world looks worse

You have never looked better

 

Chorus

 

In the cold, in the rain

It's always the same

And it drives me insane

The games that we play

As we took our last kiss

The taste won't go away

And I hope you age well

I would have gone through all hell

To have stayed with you that day

As this memory fades

 

Chorus

 

Please dance with me

Just dance with me

We could relive this memory

So dance with me

I

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Hey, blinkline!

 

Looks like you're getting a great early start! Keep at it and you'll probably be writing circles around most of us by the time you're 20. ;)

 

I wasn't sure precisely what was going on in "Dance with Me" -- at first I thought it was a drug milieu song -- that was all I could make of the phrase "snow-stained" and the general sense of decay/despair and the general sense of ending...

 

But then I started wondering if I was reading too much into things.

 

Anyway, looks like you've got a great start. Keep writing. That's the most important thing.

 

Writers write.

 

;)

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